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Childbirth

Denied a homebirth when in labour?

205 replies

PrettyCandles · 18/10/2006 15:06

Has this happened to anybody else?

When I phoned up to say that I was in labour and was booked for a homebirth, they could not find a midwife to come to me and I had to go to the hospital. I know that in theory that can happen, but have never heard of it happening before. Even the midwife who booked me for homebirth a couple of weeks ealier said that it had never happened as far as she was aware.

OP posts:

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kittythescarygoblin · 20/10/2006 09:26

It's good to feel useful. Somehow tidying up endless amounts of mess doesn't give me that much satisafction

domo · 20/10/2006 09:27

Hi,

I've read this topic with interest, homebirth is becoming more and more popular in Ireland but i'm a bit confused about the services on offer in the UK.

From what i've read am i correct in assuming that you don't have to pay for your homebirth, or you have private health care?

In Ireland, if you want a homebirth, it isn't available on the public system the best you can hope for is to be accepted into a midwife lead scheme(which not all materity hospitals operate). You have to go private for a homebirth and most of the cost will have to be paid by you are private health insurers only cover part of the cost.

It would be fantastic if it was available on the public system but considering that we don't even have meidwife lead schemes in all the hospitals i don't that happening anytime soon.

kittythescarygoblin · 20/10/2006 09:48

That's right Domo, homebirths are covered by the nhs here.

Manoo · 20/10/2006 10:06

Dearest Kdinas - do have a look at the yahoo vbac group that Daisymoo posted. Sign up for the group and post your thoughts and fears there - you'll soon have replies from lots of lovely women who have been in your situation, and can offer helpful advice like Kitty here. There are some women on the yahoo group who are trying for a VBAC after 3 or 4 c sections - and the women there are a fantastic support network who will soon make you feel confident and empowered rather than full of fear.

I'm currently pregnant - had a c/s first time round and this time want to try for a VBAC - I spoke to a doula who was v v useful (think they are invaluable as kitty and lulumama suggest). The doula I spoke to knew the consultants at my local hospital and knew who would be most VBAC friendly - perhaps you could change consultant at the hospital? I'm struggling to decide whether to VBAC at hosp or at home - I don't trust maternity unit staff, and like you fear I'll end up with another c/s, yet I'm also concerned about home birth just in case of scar rupture.

However, the women at the yahoo group have made me see that I don't have to accept anything I don't want to (interventions/time limits) in a hospital setting - I think the women most likely to succeed at a hospital VBAC are those who are well informed, know which interventions to say no to, and who know their rights. (A doula (usually around £600) would also help with this if you took one to hospital). Independent Midwives cost a staggering (but worth it I hear) £2750, but some of them let you pay what you can over a number of years, so that option could be worth researching too.

Even if you can't afford the doula or IMidwife, they are usually happy to chat things through with you and give you their opinions on the phone - perhaps one could set your mind at rest and help make you feel less afraid. Last thing (sorry this is so long!) there are some women on the yahoo group who have done unassisted births, so they can give you their thoughts on that too.

Huge luck, and I really hope you get the VBA2C that you deserve.

lulumama · 20/10/2006 12:06

i am actually quite worried about Kdinas --- she has posted of her feelings of despair over the birth elsewhere on here....i really hope she will come back to this thread and see the support.....was worried about her last night.....

Toady · 20/10/2006 14:20

kdinas, hope you are ok, I had a VBAC2 last year and all was fine, please join the vbac/hbac group, i could not have done it without them, you really need some support here. If you would like to email me direct let me know.

There is absolutely no reason why you can not have this baby at home how YOU want to.

I have pasted a copy of a draft letter below which you could send to the Head of Midwifery.

It will obviously have to be doctored to suit your needs but it is a start and will cut out any crap between now and your lovely homebirth

start off with a
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH

It is my informed decision to have a homebirth. This is not up for discussion, if you are here to talk me out of it then I am sorry to have wasted your time.

The last ? months of my pregnancy have been stressful due to the lack of support I have received from almost every person caring for me that I have come into contact with and I really just want to enjoy the last few weeks knowing I have been heard and I have a midwife or midwives who are going to support me.

My birth plan is very clear and I have fully thought through every point. I expect someone who is experienced in home birth, water birth,VBAC and if necessary breech delivery. Please circulate this plan to your colleaugues and if anyone wishes to opt out of my care that is fine. I do not wish to be attended by a midwife who is not confident in her abilities and supportive of my choices.I will call for another midwife if the one attending me is harrassing me to transfer to hospital because of there own lack of confidence rather than a real medical emergency.

If I call for a midwife and I am told there are none available and I will have to go into hospital I will wait at home until one becomes available.If no one comes I will deliver at home regardless unless a real medical emergency arises.If an ambulance is sent to me that I did not request it will be sent away.

My words may sound harsh to you but I feel I have been left with no choice other than to take this stance.I have been fobbed off,given misleading information,lied to and not been informed of my rights.I am saddened that homebirth is not being more actively encouraged especially considering the recent NMC circular and the government stating they wish to increase figures to 10% over the next few years.If my experience and those of other women I have spoken to is anything to go by this is just a pipe dream.

What I hope to gain from this letter is your assurance that I will from this point on be attended only by midwives who support my choices and are competant and confident in there own abilities.If I continue to receive negativity and mis information I will consider it as harrassment and will cease to arrange any appointments or call for assisstance when I am in labour.

If you feel that you cannot provide me with a midwife with the skills I require then could I please have that in writing so that I can approach the Trust and request that they find me and pay for an Independant midwife

I do not have much time so I would appreciate prompt action

Thankyou very much for your time

lulumama · 20/10/2006 14:27

toady - emailed you this morning...hope you got it!

and what a great letter!

Toady · 20/10/2006 14:50

yes thankyou just replied.

lulumama · 20/10/2006 18:50

.

for kdinas....hope you have come back to this thread.....there is lots of support

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 21:34

PC
"Please also bear in mind, when you say that I (or you/one) should have held out and insisted on my rights, that the m/w who would eventually have attended would have been off duty. I may have entitlements, but so do they. They are incredibly dedicated women, and should not be taken advantage of, no matter how shoddy the state of the NHS. "
I know this is what they told you, but, as my friend found out, because she did put her foot down, indeed, 2 lovely m/w's on duty from a different area, not far or anything, just different part of her town, attendet...and indeed, this is the case in most areas....that all the Community m/w's are ultimately able to cover the whole of the area, and therefore it is very often if ever necessary to get m/w's on duty, it's just that sending a woman to Hossie and telling her there is no other choice is the easier option....why I do not know, I don't really get....I know you are happy with things, but just thoguht I calrify this, as the tactics used for you were very common bullying tactics to get women to birht in Hospital!

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 21:38

Mannoo, very well said, and I completely agree!
Also, anyone seen this terrible drama about that Gyno Unit in London, I think....it started in Autums 04 first off, and I was sickly addicted to the programme, even though it completley left me upset, to say the least....but I sort of had to watch it....must say, watch the subsequent series last year I think, and gosh, it was so muhc easier to watch as I had worked through most of my issues, still left me feeling quite sick though...and yes it was a drama, but somehow I know it wasn't all that overexaggerated! Cannot remember the name of the programme...sorry!

happybiggirl · 20/10/2006 21:40

Message withdrawn

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 21:43

lulumama, unassisted Birth is NOT illegal....aslong as noone at teh place of Birth pretends or "acts" as official m/w' as that would be breaking the law, iykwim!
Saying that, I don't think I personally would have the guts for this, but I kow of an online friend that has gone down this route after the Emergency C-section of her first....I think, if I ever would have another Baby, I would try to raise the money for an Independent m/w , I know you can pay them monthly or inrates anyway, most definately feel the money would be very worth spend, as no matter how strong you are as a person, and both me and dh are strong and well informed people...my last experience showed me that it doesn't matter when you are in that situation and well either fully labouring or just the helpless partner...once the m/w's "hit the panic buttone" necessary or not, you are unable to think clearly!

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 21:44

kdinas....feel free to E-mail me if you would like to talk!
[email protected]

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 21:47

Domo, I assume you mean republic of Ireland, as In NI it's a similar system to NHS, just a different name, iykwim!

lulumama · 20/10/2006 21:51

thanks -- someone explained it to me last night...knew i had confused somthihng to do with that issue

can you CAT me if you hear from Kdinas... i won't put my email on here as it involves my surname which is too recognisable in my home town....ta!

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 21:57

Bodies...that's the one And yes, I love it, but at the same time I find it really distressing, how weird am I!

lulumama · 20/10/2006 21:58

bodies was ace........if a bit too realistic...!

lulumama · 20/10/2006 21:58

bodies was ace........if a bit too realistic...!

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 22:03

I don't have cat, sorry...or don't know how it works, but I think you have to pay for it, don't ya!
Feel free to E-mail me and then I can E-mail you back if I do hear from her...I assume you meant me...if not just ignore me, lol!

lulumama · 20/10/2006 22:06

thanks yes...i did mean you!!! CAT is £5 a year...

i will email you if nothing comes through here from Kdinas....thanks!

3andnomore · 20/10/2006 22:07

oh it's only £5 per year...I thought it was per month, lol...might see about that then

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PrettyCandles · 21/10/2006 17:10

As Pupuce has pointed out, and as I'm sure many of us have experienced oursaelves, there exist officious, jobsworthy, uncompassionate, lazy etc m/ws, but I am certain that that has not been the case for me.

Every m/w involved with me was hugely supportive of my choice of HB, one even going so far as to argue in my support with a very unhelpful consultant. Every m/w I have seen since ds2's birth has known that I am the mum who didn't get her HB, and has apologised for this.

OP posts:

lulumama · 21/10/2006 17:13

it's great that it is not an issue for you and you were attended by lovely midwives .....

PrettyCandles · 21/10/2006 17:17

Kdinas - please come and talk to us. You're feeling very pressured by the HCPs who should be supporting you, but you don't have to put up with it. You can change them, you are likelky to find that other HCPs have a different perspective and will supprt you compassionately. I was being bullied by a consultant who tried to persuade me that I would not be able to birth my baby unassisted, and that by choosing HB (or ewven waterbirth) I ws endangering my child's life. Fortunately I had good support from Mumsnet and from midwives, and I went on to prove the consultant completely wrong.

So, please, come back and talk to us - you are not alone on Mumsnet and don't have to bear this stress on your own.

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