Denied a homebirth when in labour?

[PrettyCandles]

Has this happened to anybody else?

When I phoned up to say that I was in labour and was booked for a homebirth, they could not find a midwife to come to me and I had to go to the hospital. I know that in theory that can happen, but have never heard of it happening before. Even the midwife who booked me for homebirth a couple of weeks ealier said that it had never happened as far as she was aware.

[BlueberryPancake]

What I find offending in Spidermama's post is this:
I'm so shocked at the attitude on this thread that women should just shut up and be happy their baby is alive. How ridiculous. We're not pieces of meat who need to have our young extracted from us and be grateful.

[PeachyBobbingParty]

Is that offensive? I don't think so, it's quite right imo.

DS1 was a medicalised birth and thank goodness, otherwise he'd have died an dpossibly me too. However, I very much value womens rights to the birth that works best for them not least because I suspect that anxietty causes many birth problems anyway. DS2 was a hospitalised birth within a lovely MW unit- massage, aromatherapy, etc. I wish more people could ahve this experience, it was amazing and a much nicer, life sustaining experience. DS3 was middling, meant to home but couldn't be (electric company doing random cuts- bah) whihc was a shame

Anyway what I am saying is that I agree with Spidermama- we are more than just deliverers of babies, we;r're valuable poeple and whilst most would put their babies forst ultimately and agree to pretty much anything, in most normal PG's the priority can safely be what the mum to be would choose.

[lulumama]

for me my emergency c/s saved me from internal damage - but i don't think i should have ever been induced to start with, so that;s a whole different argument

blueberry...i agree with what you say particularly about the 'self criticism ' aspect of it all..... but not quite sure why you found spidermama's comment offensive....i am not picking a fight. i am just incredibly interested to hear all opinions on this subject...and nothing is wrong with the birth you had at all....

i found my medicalised birth soul destroying, despite my gratitude for a healthy baby...my VBAC was the best day of my life!

[PrettyCandles]

#How can any of us judge what is a good birth experience for another woman. We can only speak for ourselves. For example, I have had many commiserations both here and in RL for not getting my homebirth - but (withou wanting to sound ungrateful) I don't need them. In my eyes I had a good birth. I am happy, fulfilled, empowered by it. But that doesn't mean that another woman who didn't get her HB should also feel this way. She may be devastated and we should respect that.

[kittythescarygoblin]

Bp, this a very emotive subject. People have very strong feelings about it as you can see. I don't think the issue I about whether natural birth is 'better', (although having experienced many different types, my natural births left me feeeling far more empowered than those with interveniton), it is about women feeling good about whatever type of birth they have. Many women do not have good birth experiences and it need to be recognised that this i very important. it should not be brushed aside with arguments uch as" well, all that matters is a healthy baby" because it is NOT all that matters to many, many women.
There are two people involved in the birth process , mother and baby, and many women feel that their feelings and wishes are ignored.They are made to bad and ungrateful if they are traumatised even in the mildest way, after all they have their baby.
I felt awful after my first birth, it was an em section. Yes , they saved my baby's life, but I felt sh*t and that was never recognised, it should have been.

I'm glad for you that you feel ok. with your birth experience, but many women would not and they shouldn't be vilified for feeling that way.

[lulumama]

agree wholeheartedly with kitty & prettycandles

am appalled at the number of threads on the 'feeling depressed' thread that are about the trauma of a 'bad' birth being dismissed and ignored......and the poor mum is left feeling doubly worse....it is a crying shame....sadly, i know how that feels all too well ....but through pushing for the VBAC i knew would heal me.....i am 100% ok....i didn;t have to fight too hard for mine, but too many others do...

[PrettyCandles]

Lulumama - the birth that would 'heal' you - yes, exactly. I had a horrible first birth, and felt healed by the far better 2nd birth. But I didn't know that would or could happen, and of course if you don't have the opportunityto have another birth then you don't even have the chance of healing yourself in such a way.

Giving birth is both such a tiny part of our lives, and yet such a major part, too. After my 1st buirthing I definitely felt I should let it go, after all I had a healthy baby at the end of it all. But when I was preparing for my 2nd birthing it became clear that I really had been badly traumatised by the 1st, no matter how I had seemed to put it behind me. I doubt I would have had such a good 2nd birthing had I not been given the support to deal with the 1st.

[3andnomore]

BbPc, nothing wrong with it if you are happy with everything and if you feel that you could trust your team, etc....that makes htings often much easier to cope with if things go wrong...like with es I did have a deep internal, as after they ruptured my membranes he went into distress, heartbeat got irregular, weak...and the Doctor turned him a bit around (basically whole hand up in you know where)...now, he still came out in a op position anyway, on gas and air, and yes everything, but even though this was worrying and the internal and turneing was immensely painful...everythign was explained to me, and I still felt a level of control, so, I still calss that experience as a positive one....with ys...different story, i still believe the C-section was unecessary and that the Doctor wanted to fill his quota or just wanted to get home or whatever, he was rude, I felt like I was raped, so, really sorry if I am not just greatful about having my son delivered...and both of us being in one peace...emotionally it has taken me the past 2 and a bit year to get my life back, to not suffer bad dreams or flashbacks...and I know that I would have not been at least half as bad if only I had received a better treatment on a personal level! I was distressed enough by the time I got to the Hospital, I did not need people being just ignorant or rude or both to me!
Sorry, that is a bit of a rant....not really at you or anything!

[ingym23]

Hey Spidermama,

I think you are being very unfair to single me out! I obviously did not make myself clear in my posts, and it was never my intention to label all hbers as being selfish, and I don't believe I did.

The only point I was trying to make was this: if there is a shortage of midwives across the board effecting women who are in labour in hospital and women who are in labour at home, why should the women in labour at home "expect" the one to one, or two to one, attention being denied to the women in hospital?

I am so sorry to have to go over old ground on this thread, but I believe you have misunderstood and mislabeled me.

I do actually believe that all women should have the birth experience they want. It is just such a shame that in these times of slashed NHS services and budgets that we cannot all get what we want all the time (and surely I don't need to say that this state is not just limited to our birth experiences!).

I did look at the AIMS website this morning, and yes it does state that a Trust is obliged to find a midwife "because one is always available".

I STILL don't understand how this can be....

But that doesn't mean I don't think that women should be entitled to the birth experience they want....

I KNEW I would ruffle feathers when I posted originally!

[3andnomore]

ingym23, problem is, if women budge over to easily, then the Healthcare providors know they get away with it, so, there would be no need to change that.
Like I said in earlier posts though, saving on midwives is the wrong end to save....because most interventions, etc...would be avoided if the care was better, staying in Hsospital time would be shorter, and less cases of OND and certainly Posttraumatic stress syndrome...which all is costly stuff...it's a shame the people in power can't see this!

[Boowila]

I personally think the very idea of a home birth is horrific and can't even begin to imagine ever wanting one. But, this is not really about whether or not PC is right in wanting a hombirth, but rather that she is upset at having had one agreed and then having it snatched from under her feet when in labour. And with that point, I most certainly agree. It is appauling that the NHs uses other presumably needier patients as an excuse for their own failings. They oferred her a homebirth, she went through the proper channels (I assume) to secure it. And then when she was in labour and completely at their mercy, they took it away. What an appauling and spineless thing to do. When oh when is NHS going to stand up and face it's responsibility. If they couldn't provide a home birth they should have said so from the beginning.

Whilst I can not fathom ever wanting a home birth, I can turn this around and think about how I would feel if I had showed up for my planned section and been told there was no surgeon and they were going to induce me instead. I would have gone into an unrivaled display of hysterics probably.

You should definately submit a formal complaint to your PCT.

[lulumama]

ingym - i interpreted your initial comments the same way as spidermama...that the women wanting homebirth need to think of the greater good and not be selfish...if i misread you then i apologise....

and i aloso made the point that if we give in at the first hurdle, then it makes it easier for the health care providers to erode and whittle awy our rights bit by bit...

it is the PCTs and central government depriving labouring women of adequate midwifery staff...not the labouring women themselves.

[happybiggirl]

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[lulumama]

and the staff aren;t available because......

happybiggirl.......i'm delighted that you found you could accept the situation with such equilibrium.....i'm glad you were able to find it in yourself to be so calm during labour!

the more we accept the radical decrease in midwives and midwifery led units...the more it will happen!

i think boowillas post is a great way to look at the situation...

[kittythescarygoblin]

Happybiggirl, that doesn't make it ok, it doesn't mean we should just accept it. It's the foot stampers who can start to initiate change. With meek acceptance of a dreadful situation things will get worse.

[ingym23]

Thank you Happybiggirl! I am pleased that at least one person here understands what I obviousy very badly was trying to say....

[happybiggirl]

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[happybiggirl]

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[happybiggirl]

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[kittythescarygoblin]

one of the reasons I opted for homebirth was beacause I wasn't prepared to take the risk that the maternity unit would be closed, as it frequently is,.
I was prepared to have that stress.

[squishy]

Prettycandles, I was sad for you when I read on another thread that this had happened to you. I'm booked for a homebirth (based on the advice of my MW, when I said I wanted a water birth, she said this was the only way to be sure, so I've gone to a lot of expense to hire a pool and do lots of other things to stack the odds in my favour!) and would feel very panicky to be told to go into hospital - am quite phobic; have had some terrible experiences in hospitals and our local one has a number of infectious diseases currently.

However, I am in the fortunate position of having a team of 15 community midwives who deal with home births, so am unlikely to be called into hospital for this reason (although there are plenty of other reasons.... ).

One other thing, though - if (fingers crossed), I am lucky enough that things go my way and that I'm able to have this baby at home, I will have paid for everything (except the MW's attendance at my birth) myself.....surely this must save the NHS money? Would like to be absolutely clear that I am completely pro-choice - a woman should be able to have her baby where she chooses, but isn't that a benefit of home birthing to the NHS?

[lulumama]

ingym23 - i understand ...i disagree!

happybiggirl - we're not even debating having the same midwife...just a midwife! whether at home or in hospital..and it's that speaks volumes....


the NHS has restraints- and we all suffer and sometimes our babies do too.....so no, i for one will be pushing for change,

as i posted earlier..i would love to train as a midwife - but cannot undertake a 3 year course and all of the financial implications of that ...and have no job to go to...! so it is a very vicious cycle...

[Boowila]

I agree that these weak excuses should not be tolerated. I would have refused to go in.

I think that when you phoned and they said they didn't have a midwife, they were probably lying -- or at least exaggerating. I think the NHS needs some foot stompers to get their attention.

Call me a skeptic, but I don't trust the NHS as far as I can throw them. And I most certainly expect them to honour the promises they make. How bout if I change my mind about making this months NI contribution? If they are going to renig on the services they offer then perhaps I should renig on the bill.

Bloody NHS Will it ever be fixed? For whom should we vote? Labour certainly hasn't done it much good (despite TB's claims). We give them more and more money, and where is the improvement?

[Boowila]

OMG, PC. I just read that you had an 11 pounder YEOUCH!!!!!!

[happybiggirl]

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