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Childbirth

Denied a homebirth when in labour?

205 replies

PrettyCandles · 18/10/2006 15:06

Has this happened to anybody else?

When I phoned up to say that I was in labour and was booked for a homebirth, they could not find a midwife to come to me and I had to go to the hospital. I know that in theory that can happen, but have never heard of it happening before. Even the midwife who booked me for homebirth a couple of weeks ealier said that it had never happened as far as she was aware.

OP posts:

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happybiggirl · 19/10/2006 19:44

Message withdrawn

Manoo · 19/10/2006 20:16

Very interesting thread...

Belgo, I think the answer is Sweden - read an article recently online and Sweden is the best place to give birth in the world and I think it was somewhere in Africa that was the worst.

I was very interested in a posting early in the thread, think it may have been Pupuce (sorry if someone else), who had shadowed midwives and found some pretty abominable attitudes -considering the responsibility these women have towards women and babies, I find it disgusting that these attitudes/working behaviours still exist in maternity units. I have read of plenty of midwives who have gone independent because they don't believe they can give women the support they need under the NHS system and protocols. I've also read numerous comments on midwifery talkboards where NHS midwives themselves are complaining about the problems they encounter in their jobs - unhelpful protocols, decisions made over their heads by those who have less experience of childbirth than they do, colleagues with unhelpful attitudes, and more problems caused than solved with modern interventions and approaches.

It seems that there are two approaches to birth - the midwifery model and the medical model. All too often the medical approach to birth is a 'baby factory' approach - get us in and out as quick as poss, with low regard for the natural labouring process and the time it takes (e.g. setting women time limits in each stage of labour, regardless of whether mother and baby are both well, happy and coping with labour).

Yes, interventions can be life saving. But most of the time they are just not necessary (and women who go into hospital are conned into believing that the interventions are in their best interests). And the fact is that these interventions are causing thousands of women to have terribly traumatic birth experiences that contribute hugely to PND and PTSD - but this fact is being overlooked in a) the pursuit for quick results, and b) the lack of need placed on recruiting and keeping decent, caring, midwives who truly understand what makes women feel supported and safe in labour, and have the experience to know when interventions are truly needed and when they are not.

What makes me really sad is that I no longer trust the care I will be given if I birth in hospital. Of course it's pot luck - there are some great NHS midwives and consultants out there too - but the horror stories I've heard about behind the scenes in maternity units, and about the 'care' that women have received in hospital are all too many.

Anyway, I agree with you all - women should have the choice of homebirth and hospital - I just wish that choosing hospital didn't have the potential to make such a profoundly negative impact on one of the most important events of a woman's life.

Toady · 19/10/2006 20:17

lulumama

Did you see my post at 2.40pm??

lulumama · 19/10/2006 20:20

hi toady - i just jotted down the address! will email a bit later...or tomorrow...if thats ok!

Toady · 19/10/2006 20:25

thank you, really excited, by the way I am feeling a bit broody too, but 4 children!!??

lulumama · 19/10/2006 20:26

oh no...i have two !!! sorry...!! i would be

Toady · 19/10/2006 20:42

yeah but I would have 4 children if I do have another

lulumama · 19/10/2006 20:47

sorry toady !

one of my friends going for a 4th as it is more balanced in her opinion!

kittythescarygoblin · 19/10/2006 21:08

Toady, I'm having my 6th in March and it is a bit crazy round here, I have to admit!!!!!!

happybiggirl · 19/10/2006 21:14

Message withdrawn

kdinas · 19/10/2006 22:53

I want to have a homebirth, but no-one will support me.
If I go intohospital, they want to whisk me away very quickly for a c-section.
Surely if they were less willing to perform c-sections for simple things this would free up more resources for more midwives.
I have been made to feel guilty because my refusal to have a c-section means I am using midwives who could attend to someone else.
I am seriously considering unnassisted birth.

lulumama · 19/10/2006 22:54

KDINAS - please please do not do that....it is illegal ( i think !) and dangerous

tell me more about your predicament..where in the country are you?

lulumama · 19/10/2006 23:02

.

Kdinas...please tell me what your situation is...

kdinas · 19/10/2006 23:14

Well, Lulamama, I have had 2 c-sections, which I am still upset about. I have days when I am fine, but as it gets to the end of this pregnancy and I think about going near hospitals, well I feel I can barely type this.
All those around me think I am strong, but I feel alone and bewildered. The community midwife was supportive at first, but changed her mind, and basically told me at my last appointment that I would not be seeing her again, and only the consultant.
The more time I spend talking to these people the less confindent I feel having this baby. Horrible memories of having my ds keep coming back to me.
I feel weak today, and whenever I feel like this I start to want an unnassisted birth. People think I am kidding, but I am serious. I have mentioned it to my dh, and he laughs, but I have bought the dustsheets, and have started a collection of old towels today.
I feel completely mixed up, and probably sound incoherent and babbly, sorry about that.
got to go,x

lulumama · 19/10/2006 23:22

kdinas- please do not give birth unassisted...

i had a vbac last year...it can be done...there is support...i can tell you are upset & feeling depserate....can i do anything?

can you get in touch with the VBAC support group..they will support you in an HBAC..why are you so sure you will end up with another c.s in hospital..? a doula can support you and help you (but not in place of a midwife).trainee doulas relatively inexpensive and would be there to support you wherever you give birth....

please, if you feel stronger tomorrow..talk to me a bit more...

unassisted birth is not the answer...especially if something catastrophic happened...

can you afford an indepenedent midwife?

Daisymoo · 19/10/2006 23:40

It is NOT illegal to give birth unassisted, although that isn't to say I would recommend it.

Kdinas, I had a home birth last year after two previous caesareans. I considered an unassisted birth myself when I was getting hassled in my last pregnancy, but I managed to get midwives who supported me and the birth was great, very easy, no complications. Please don't give up hope, there are things you can do to get the support you need. I would really recommend that you look at the ukvbachbac yahoo group Good luck.

lulumama · 19/10/2006 23:42

i think i am getting confused with someone acting in place of a midwife , deliberately...or something...! thanks for doing the link for kdinas...

Daisymoo · 19/10/2006 23:45

I think there was a case where a father who was with his partner at an unassisted birth was threatened with prosecution. AIMS sorted it out of course There's stuff about it on their website.

lulumama · 19/10/2006 23:45

thanks daisymoo!

kittythescarygoblin · 20/10/2006 07:46

Poor Kidinas. Do NOT dispair. There are SO many women here who know where you are coming from and are here to offer you advice and hugs.

I had 2 sections and wanted to try for a vabac 3rd time around. I had a very arrogant consultant ( aren't they all) who just assumed I was having another section and when I said "No", he tried all sorts of nasty shock tactics and emotional blackmail. I was so detirmined to give it a go I just kept saying " no".

Needless to say I went home extremely upset and felt very vunerable. I had hired a doula by that stage ( I was about 36 weeks) and she was an absolute Godsend. She phoned the hospital, got me an appointment with a different consultant and got me and appointment to have a chat with a senior midwife.
The senior midwife was very supportive and it was stated on my notes that I was to have a go at 'vbac' and was only to be delivered by an experineced midwife.
The new consultant was also supportive. She allowed me to go 3 weeks overdue in order to give me a chance of a natural birth.

Kidnas, I had a wonderful vbac in hospital.
I was happy to go to hospital because I didn't want to risk scar rupture and as I had never birthed vaginally before I didn't know how things would go.

Please look into getting Doula, honestly it WILL make a huge difference to how you feel now. They cannot act as a midwife, but the emotional support and feeling of security you will feel at this terribly scary time in your life, will be so huge and WILL help you, your dp and your baby.

Try and calm yourself down now. It will be much better for you and your baby. Go to these fantasic websites, investigate Doulas. If money is an issue I'm pretty sure that the organisation has funds to cover those times when a woman desperately needs that support but cannot afford the normal fees.

Keep talking to us, it will help you, x x x

lulumama · 20/10/2006 08:07

absolutely kitty- kdinas - doula.org.uk - has a hardhsip fund for women who need doulas and can't afford one! and they can put oyu in touch with doulas in your area... have to do shcool run..back later...

lulumama · 20/10/2006 08:08

think this is the doula website

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belgo · 20/10/2006 08:45

here
Kitty, you might be interested in this thread.

kittythescarygoblin · 20/10/2006 09:09

Thanks belgo, I've posted for her. What a lovely, lovely supportive thread this is

belgo · 20/10/2006 09:14

Kitty I hope she sees it - your unusual experience is invaluable.

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