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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

FRIEND DOESNT WANT C/SECTION BUT THEY WONT LISTEN - HELP !!

18 replies

toiletrollmummy · 17/10/2006 17:57

according to her dates she is due thursday, as her and her dh werent having sex alot she knows when the db was concieved. according to the hospital she is due on the 9th november. it will be her 3rd dc, her first dd was born vaginally. her dd2 was c/section due to her being a big baby. she was induced 4 weeks early.

they are saying that her baby is big this time , not as big , but still big and want to book her in for a c/s again. my friend really doesnt want to have another one asd she took ages to heal last time and she has 2 dc at home and wasnt able to do anything last time and doesnt want to be immobile.

she has been having a few pains for about a week now and feels like it could be soon but her consultant has said that she will have to go straight on the monitor and then have a c/s . the baby cant be monitored very well and they are saying that becasue of this there is more chance that there will be probs occuring in c/s
Q 1 - surely they can use a doppler?
Q 2- surley everyone has a chance of having a c/s and
Q3 why cant they just let her try for a vaginal birth and then if the baby is too big or she starts to rupture then give her a c/s?

she is getting no support her and feels like she has no say in anything
what are her rights? can she just demand a vaginal birth and they ahve to go with it ? how can she find a consultant that will support her without having to go miles?

please help me advise her , i have had 3 vaginal births and know nothing about this
tia

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Piffle · 17/10/2006 18:10

How long since her lst baby/section
Did you see that pretty candles had an 11lb baby this week, in waterbirth with no tears or problems?

that said a planned c section I would have thought would be better than an emergency one and I think the hospital are trying to book her in for convenience as mucha s anything
they told me dd was a big baby - 10lbs + at 36 weks - to try and get me to agree to induction
I said no and had her at 38 weeks naturally - she was 7lbs 8oz.
So scans are not that accurate.
Yes she can demand a trial of labour - I'm presuming there are no other medical reasons why she should have a section?

Twilighter · 17/10/2006 18:12

Not got time to go into detail, but yes, your friend can demand a vaginal birth.

Have a look at the uk vbac/hbac group on yahoo, I'm sure someone on there will be able to give a comprehensive answer.

Will try again later If you don't get more info x

lulumama · 17/10/2006 18:17

why can't she have a vbac? why can't the baby be monitored well?

shje has had a baby vaginally..so she is in good stead for a VBAC as her pelvis has been 'proved'..a baby can pass through and be delivered

they should absolutely let her have a trial of labour and sound like an overcautious consultant...

Original poster

toiletrollmummy · 17/10/2006 19:13

hi thanks for the messages,
her last dd is now nearly 6 . she hasnt got any other medical reason. they are just stating that she is high risk as she has had a c/s previous and the fact that they cant monitor the baby very well on numerous occasions just adds to it . it seems our hospital is anti vbac . i went with her a few weeks ago to get checked out as she was getting pains and felt un well . we had the coversation with a midwife on the labour ward and they asked her why she wanted a vbac. she told them and they were very unsupportive. she told them that she was well aware of the risks but wanted the chance.
she spoke to her midwife today and she said that the consultant is really adamant that he is booking her in. her midwife is obviously sticking by him .
B/F is so upset, she really wants to have a chance but they are more then less refusing her.

i remember watching a 'home birth diary' where a lady had a home birth after 3 C/S , b/f has said she is losing the will to fight and i dont want her to get bossed around when i know she has a right to choice whatever birth she wants . fgs she isnt stupid but consultant must be

OP posts:

Piffle · 17/10/2006 19:16

Cannot believe she can get no support not even from a midwife - she really needs an advocate for her.
But if she is determined and focussed she can demand it
if her dates are as far apart as your original post suggest it might be easy to put them off for a bit until labour occurs spontaneously?

Original poster

toiletrollmummy · 17/10/2006 19:24

thats what she is hoping. the thing is they have treated her really bad throughout. she had her other 2 dd's at QE2 and now she is having a baby at a completely new hospital to her last. when she first found out she was pregnant her doctor sent her for a scan . when she went they couldnt find anything at all . the radiographer (?) told her that there wasnt anything there and that her doctor had just wasted her time bny sending her . she was devastated. 3 weeks later she did another preg test and he sent her back again to be told she was now 8 weeks preg. i went with her to this one. this is why she knows they have buggered her dates up and she knows when she concieved. she is just going to wait to see what happens.
thanks

OP posts:

lulumama · 17/10/2006 19:37

if your friend can - she should hire a doula

she can give her the support, strength and courage to get the birth she wants and is entitled to.....

a doula can also help her postnatally if she does end up with a c/s....

Ladymuck · 17/10/2006 19:59

Is she within normal weight range? I can't quite understanding why monitoring is so tricky? Is there an issue with scarring etc from the previous c/section?

I think your friend also needs to be realistic about her chances of vbac. Vbacs tend to be most successful when the reason for the previous sections is not present in the subsequent pg, eg if you have a c/s for breech, then you should be able to have a vbac for subsequent pgs where baby is not breech. If size of baby was the predominant factor for the previous c/s, then she should have a realistic idea of the size of the baby from a recent scan (they'd usually scan at around 36w ime. Obviously the baby could be measuring big for dates because of the issue over dates, but a c/s at 36w (in her previous pg) is very unuusual. She should also make sure that the consultant has her previous notes.

She ought to make an infomred decision - one advatage with a planned c-section is that you can arrange childcare etc in advance. She shoudl ask the consultant (or a doula) about her chances of a successful vbac under her circumstances and then make an informed decision.

The other issue that she needs to consider is whether the poor healing etc last time is a reason as to why an emergency c/section would be more risky this time. If the consultant views that an emergency c/s may be life-threatening then they may wish to opt for an elective so that they can take the required time, or have the consultant actually perform the surgery for example.

pupuce · 17/10/2006 20:13

She should call AIMS www.aims.org.uk
Thye will tell her how to sort this out! They are very good!
She can actually sue them if they force a section on her- it's called abuse ! I know someone who did !

3andnomore · 19/10/2006 14:08

Just how big was her previous Baby that she was induced 4 weeks early? I assume she is not diabetic or has Gestational Diabetis?
Not that this really matters, but is she very small framed...just trying to find out why they are freaking your poor friend out so much over the weight of the Baby, iykwim!
Would she consider a Homebirth?
Aims would defiantely be a good contact for her!
Also the Yahoo group Uk midwifery is always very informative and she or you will be able to get brill advice there!

Lulu68 · 19/10/2006 17:25

I managed to birth an almost 11 lb baby after having 2 sections, she HAS to stand her ground. I also wasn't permenantly monitored or strapped to a bed.

Good luck to your friend but she does need to be assertive, here is the link for the uk vbac chat site - really useful. link

muma3 · 23/10/2006 19:08

hi all , was toiletrollmummy !!!

she is going in on monday for c/s

she hasnt gestational diabeties but she is over weight. they have told her that it is around 10lbs
her last baby (dd 6y ) was 9lb 13oz 4 weeks early and they dont think she can deliver this baby either. she feels like she has failed but is excited too . they will leave her till 41 weeks but have said it is safer to just do a c/s now. i dont understand as i havent been through this so i can say but i know she just wants it over now
thanks for all the kind words , i did link her to this and she was going to print it out and take it to her consultant but he is adamant

aunty on monday

lulumama · 23/10/2006 19:09

well...hope it goes well...and she is going to meet her lovely baby....and if she is excited...great!

Quadrofiendia · 23/10/2006 19:11

Muma3 is this in northampton?

muma3 · 23/10/2006 19:20

yes it is

Quadrofiendia · 23/10/2006 19:34

I thought so, I had a large baby, shoulder dystocia delivery, very distressing. With my next child my consultant tried to get me to have a section but i fought it (baby large again) and they went for induction instead which wasn't ideal and I wish I had fought harder but i did have a vaginal birth.
If your sister is still unhappy she can fight this and she can win, it is her body and her baby and they cannot force her into a section against her wishes. It seems quite early to be giving her a section can it not be delayed at all?

muma3 · 23/10/2006 19:38

its my best friend, and no they wont induce her or even give her a stretch an sweep . basically, she has been given the guilt tretment and made to believe its for the best . we always believe docs dont we?? they think there isnt a chance of her delivering so the are doing it monday. she was due 4 days ago by her dates and thiers she is due on 9th nov.

like she keeps saying aslong as baby healthy

Quadrofiendia · 23/10/2006 19:46

lets hope something happens before Monday then

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