What happened with my second birth?

[BiancaDelRio]

I had a textbook pregnancy with DD and had a planned homebirth after going into labour at 40+9. Long and bloody painful but very straightforward.

I had DS 11 weeks ago. Due to being diagnosed with hyperthyroidism another HB was ruled out. At 41+5 my waters started leaking slowly.

I went to bed expecting to be woken up by contractions. They didn't start. I went to hospital and waited all day for something to happen but nothing did.

I eventually agreed to induction and was brought through to have the syntocinon drip. Before this was going to happen I was examined and found to have a thin layer of waters remaining around baby's head. After an agonising 15 minutes of trying these were eventually broken by a doctor. Still no contractions.

Then DS's heart rate started to dip. After it happened three times they offered me a section. I was bloody knackered and concerned about baby's heart rate dipping again so said yes.

So I had a baby without being in labour or having a single contraction

How could my body have known what to do so well first time and then just not work properly second time around? Would I have eventually have started contracting?

Needless to say my ideas about childbirth have changed drastically. I used to be very hobby about home births and thought birth was far too medicalised . I don't feel that way anymore. I'm so glad my baby was delivered safely and very grateful to the wonderful staff who looked after us. That said, I do feel like I failed in some way. I know it doesn't matter so why am I feeling like this?

Not sure why I'm writing this now. I think I just needed to get it all out.

to anyone who has read this far (yes I know it's a bit early but feck it ).

Oh OP that sounds v scary! It sounds like you listened to your instincts and the HCPs with your second birth. Kudos to you for being receptive and open minded enough to make the best possible decisions for you and LO despite your prior thoughts on 'medicalised' births. I am by far an expert having never even given birth (yet), but have been told that every baby and every birth is completely different. I am sure some experienced mums will be on soon with similar stories.
and to you.

Oh OP that sounds v scary! It sounds like you listened to your instincts and the HCPs with your second birth. Kudos to you for being receptive and open minded enough to make the best possible decisions for you and LO despite your prior thoughts on 'medicalised' births. I am by far an expert having never even given birth (yet), but have been told that every baby and every birth is completely different. I am sure some experienced mums will be on soon with similar stories.
and to you.

Oh OP that sounds v scary! It sounds like you listened to your instincts and the HCPs with your second birth. Kudos to you for being receptive and open minded enough to make the best possible decisions for you and LO despite your prior thoughts on 'medicalised' births. I am by far an expert having never even given birth (yet), but have been told that every baby and every birth is completely different. I am sure some experienced mums will be on soon with similar stories.
and to you.

Sorry - stupid phone keeps double posting!

Sorry - stupid phone keeps double posting!

I remember after my first birth, the consultant telling me that it had happened the way it did, because of the position my son had been in. He caused the waters to break first because of his odd positioning, and everything spiralled a bit from there. That was borne out last night, when my second DC was born. She was textbook - correctly positioned and all happened as it should. My body had known what to do all along, it just needed the correct signals from the baby.

Aw, congratulations!

I do think many labours/births/deliveries are unnecessarily medicalised, but we are very lucky to have that option.
I've had an induction, one emCS and 2 'text book' VBACs and they were all 4 of them 'nice' deliveries that have left me with lovely memories of them all.

I think going in to having a baby with an open mind and feeling well supported whatever happens is key to ending up happy with the experience.

That, and a healthy child of course.

Sounds as if you do exactly the right thing, as did the medical staff. Our bodies are not perfect. They dont always know how to do things. That's why something as 'natural' as childbirth has an entire profession built up around it, to minimise the risk of things going wrong.

Does that help at all?

Firstly, congratulations

Please don't feel like you failed in any way. I felt like this after an assisted delivery and it really does you no good. I agree with you about being very thankful for the options of medical intervention we have - we are so lucky. Your birth sounds scary I'm so glad both you and your baby are ok.

Do you have support at home to help you come to terms with your birth experience? Talking it through can help - I talked mine through with my mum and it really helped. I'm due in March with number 2 and scared my birth will go the same way as last time!

Congratulations again

Why don't you ask for a debrief? I had one with a consultant after my EMCS with DC1, which really helped me to understand why, exactly, I had ended up having a section - obviously I'd had a vague idea from what was said at the time, but it was all far clearer after I'd had it explained to me a few months later in an unemotional way. My community midwife, who it was still in touch with through a bf group, arranged mine for me, but you could also constant the hospital directly.

Sorry you didn't have a great experience. It's stressful when these things are playing on your mind, and for me, anyway, having the full facts really helped.

Thanks all .

I don't really feel traumatised enough for a debrief.

My birth didn't go as planned but in a way it was almost better in the end because I escaped the horrendous pain of labour. I know from reading this board that I was very lucky. The staff looking after me treated me amazingly well and communicated fully with me at all times.

I just feel ponderous about how my body behaved so differently second time round.

DS is almost 12 weeks now and an absolute rock star so I'm trying to leave all the birth stuff behind me. I'm definitely not putting my
self through it all again, that much is definite.

Thank you all again.