How ill would I have been in HDU?

[elliejjtiny]

DS5's birth and the aftermath are a bit of a blur. My waters broke at 35 weeks. Then I got an infection. They tried to induce me but my uterus ruptured when I was 5cm dilated. DS5 was born by category 1 emcs not breathing. He was rushed to NICU and I was taken to HDU. I was moved to the postnatal ward after 3 days in HDU and DS5 joined me 2 days later. I have so many questions. I remember crying with the pain and lots of morphine. I remember nearly dropping DS5 the first time I held him. I remember being on iv antibiotics and being woken up every time I tried to sleep.

I've got a copy of my notes but it doesn't say much that I can understand. DH wasn't there much so he can't fill me in. The HV just says that I need to think positively and that DS5 is my little miracle. Which he is but I find it scary that this big thing happened to me that I don't remember.

When I was on the postnatal ward there was a lady with a drain in who looked really poorly and I'm thinking that I must have been worse than her if I was in HDU and she was on the main ward. But I don't remember.

Hi,

What a dreadful experience.

All I can suggest is you somehow contact to have a debrief with someone, dr, midwife etc

You may still be in shock from everything and need time

Many hugs

Hi ellie what a terrible experience you all went through. You can ask for an appointment with your specialist to discuss what happened. They will arrange a time to sit down with you and talk you through everything. Then you can ask all the questions you need to. It all sounds such an awful experience that has clearly left you very traumatised. Finding out exactly what happened to you and why may help you deal with it. Hope you get the answers you need

I don't know much about your situation obviously but dd was recently on hdu. She wasn't particularly unwell but the drugs she was getting could make you very unwell very quickly so can only be given in hdu. It sounds like you were very poorly but hdu in and off itself doesn't necessarily mean at deaths door iyswim?

Aren't there usually dedicated mw who can discuss your experience? Also I think you can debrief with the consultant? I get your mw point but glossing over things isn't always helpful. She needs to help you work through a scary episode properly not try to get you to skip over it.

Ask for a debrief. They can be really helpful.

So sorry to hear of your traumatic birth. Definitely ask for a debrief when you feel able, a midwife will be able to put the notes into layspeak so you can understand.

I was on HDU after dc3's birth for 5 days following an emergency hysterectomy and major haemmorhage requiring replacement of my whole blood volume. On HDU you have two ladies to every midwife, more frequent observations, the equipment needed in case of complications. Any sicker and I was told I would have been on ICU. My dd has been on paediatric HDU for observation due to low oxygen saturation during sleep, but was perfectly well when awake. It can vary.

After my traumatic birth experience I spoke to Birth Crisis which helped. There are many support networks here should you need to talk to someone. I am also waiting for CBT via my GP.

Thankyou. A birth debrief sounds like a good idea.