Am I making a fuss over nothing? Sorry bit long.

[redexpat]

Hello all
Trying to establish whether I should change hospitals based on birth number 1 which was 3 years ago (today!) and the appointment I had today.

At my 20 wk scan my placenta was too close to my cervix, so had another scan at 32 wks, and one today at 35. Now, the 32 week scan was ok. She tried to scan first through my belly, and then had to use the dildo scanner (as I call it). I told her that I would like to be covered as I am very uncomfortable naked, and at a previous scanning with DS, there were several drs wandering in and out and I felt very very exposed. She said she understood completely and reassured me that the door was locked, would that be enough, no I would like to be covered. So she got me a sheet. Lovely, thank you nice MW.

Today the scanning was with a consultant. She tried to scan through belly, no luck so I repeated everything from last time. She said the door was locked. And no more. I said there was something psychological about being covered, but she still didnt get me a sheet or anything. So I was uncomfortable, came out of the appt and cried.

Added to this, I am already anxious about giving birth in this hospital due to my first birth. I was induced at 6pm, had 2 paracetamol at 9ish, then was ok with deep breathing, waters went at 2am, but I dont think they called the MW. Shortly after the pain increased massively - I know understand this was transition. They called the MW who took a fucking age to get up to the ward (it's not that far). She examined me and I was 10cm. I asked for pain relief, she said it's too late, this baby is going to fall out.

Well, DS most certainly did NOT fall out. It took 2 hours of pushing. I was given no painrelief. I was given oxygen, but that was for DS. They put a drip in the back of my hand, but didnt ask. I had to fucking fight them to get stirrups (I have tendonitis in my hips. It is only a problem when I have to lie with my legs open). They didnt even look at my birth plan. They said we need to do a catheter and boom did it, didnt get a chance to say no. They did some acupucture for my BP, again, not something I aske for, nor was I asked for my consent. When DS did come I had a second degree care. Then they injected me with some kind of pain relief, but didnt wait for it to take effect. I felt every fucking stitch, screamed I can still feel that but they just carried on. I felt that everything was done to me, and nothing was done for me.

I was able to put the birthing experience behind me, but after the appt with the consultant today I jsut dont know. If the consultant wont listen to me, who will? I had asked about a known midwife (where you have 3 during pg and then one of them is on duty) but it hasnt been set up.

The other hospital is further away, but does have this option. I am 35 wks so have to make this decision pretty quickly. I have an appt with MW on thursday so would like to address this with her then.

Am in Denmark so slightly different set up and proceedures, but would nonetheless, welcome the input of MN.

I'd change, after talking this through with your mw, it doesn't sound as though you have anything to gain from going back to the same place as your experience with ds wasn't good and you're already uncomfortable you don't have anything to lose. I sympathise, childbirth is so undignified, it makes me cringe to think about howmany people have had their hands up my bits in the last few days (just had dc2) and drs forget we aren't used to this.

How far away is the other hospital? If it is not too much of a hassle to get to I'd opt for that one.

As for dildo, I'm very familiar with it as I've had quite a lot if fertility investigations/treatments, I used to always wear a skirt to appointments that were likely to include dildo cam, then you don't need to argue about them providing a cover (although you shouldn't have to argue!)

Other hospital is 45 minutes, first one is 25 minutes door to door.

I'd be tempted to go for the other hospital as I'd be concerned that I couldn't trust the care givers. That said, 45 mins is quite a trek away. Can you hold off making a decision until you've met with your MW tomorrow? S/he may be able to give you you some better advice or be able to mediate with the nearer hospital on your behalf..?

Really hope you get what you need and good luck

Update: had mw appt today. Have changed to other hospital, and even better am on the known midwife scheme! There's only 2 of them, so one I meet next week, and hopefully the other two weeks after, so I can discuss things with them, and then hopefully one should be on duty when I deliver. Also lovely MW this morning wrote some things on my notes which they should take note of - no one really bothers with birth plans here.

The other hospital seems more flexible. You can have a tour every monday afternoon and there's no need to sign up. Plus they have more antenatal classes rather than theo nce a month lecture at the other place. I feel so relieved I cant tell you! Thanks all for your comments.

Good! My closest hospital is 45 mins away here, just call triage on the way of you're in any doubt, you can always turn round and go home!