Why do I have to explain to every medical person I see about my reasons for a section?

[dottytablecloth]

Had a section forts time round.

Dc2 due in December and I'd made my mind up early on that I wanted a section. Doctors after trying to really force the idea of a vbac saw that I was very firm and haven't tried to push me since.

However every person I see at each appointment keeps querying my preference for a section. I almost feel like I'm a real inconvenience or that I should be ashamed of it.

Why am being asked about it over and over?

Today when the midwife (see a different one each time) asked me "what's the reason for the section?" I just said personal choice and offered no further explanation.

Did anyone else have this experience?

I'm worried that doctors will change their mind and refuse a section now. I've worried about this since early pregnancy.

A vaginal birth is safer for you and the baby AND it is cheaper for the NHS and occupies less resources. That's why they are asking you continually. None of that means that a section is wrong for you nor does it mean that they want to stop you having one. HCPs have a responsibility though to ensure you have all the information about your choice. You are telling them it's because of personal (and I'm sure highly informed) choice. They are checking that it isn't because you have a fear of vaginal birth that might impact on your care for the baby or because you believe recovery from c section is easier or because your husband has ordered you to do it as he doesn't want a vaginal delivery affecting your sex life for example. Do you see what I mean? They do have a responsibility to check on your situation and your understanding of the options. You've made your choice. Having had a c section before you can clearly demonstrate an understanding of it. I don't think you need worry anybody will try and stop you - but yes they may continue trying to raise it. That's their job.

If I see planned section in someone's notes when we're in a consultation abd the reason isn't immediately obvious then of course I will ask. It means there's something going on I haven't gleaned from your notes and it could have a huge bearing on the consultation I'm about to do. It's not to judge you.

Keep saying it's your choice. Don't engage in any further discussion. It's annoying that it keeps coming up, but on the plus side, at least they are reading your notes!

I really hope the pp are not HCPs. How incredibly patronising to think a women should have defend her choice to have section every time she sees a midwife or doctor just in case. She is not a child making a decision on a whim. She will have already spoken to a consultant to get the section agreed, do you think Dotty said "I fancy having major surgery for no reason whatsoever" and they just went "ok then".

Why do you think you need to "raise" it? Do you think every colleague your patient has seen before you was incredibly incompetent?

If you can't be bothered to read the notes then don't bother to ask the question

It is horrible to go appointment after appointment and get asked the same pointless and upsetting question. I have many friends who have had to explain irrelevant unpleasant situations over and over again because staff don't bother to look at the notes.

OP, just refer them to your notes. Put a big sticker in them saying "Dotty is having a section as agreed with XXX, she does not want to discuss it again."

She doesn't have to defend her decision. She is being asked about her decision and yes they do have to ask again and again because it's very important and situations change and every HCP she is contact with has a personal responsibility to talk to their patient and not just 'read the notes'

HCP can ask but the OP doesn't have to answer.

Not answering is just absurdly obstructive. There's nothing wrong with what she is saying - it's her personal choice.

I had this when pg with my first dc

I had chosen a section because I wanted one for several personal reasons (then had sections with my next 2 dc as well)

It's nosey and unnecessary of them IMO

Of course a medical professional will ask . If on reading your notes it is not obvious then they are probably concerned that somebody hasn't logged something medical or important to you or your babies care .
Maybe ask the next person to write exactly why you want a section onto your notes / file .

It is practice for the rest of your life every time the subject comes up. Lots of patronising clueless fools think they know better than you.

HCPs have better things to do than be 'nosy'.

Not answering is not absurdly obstructive. If a person doesn't want to answer a question, they don't have to. I assume that it says quite clearly on the OPs notes that she has chosen a c-section. Why should she be asked why at every appointment?

A vbac is not safer for your and baby. Helena is incorrect on this point. However if it is HCP asking then it is likely because they need to ask incase of any underlying issues.

You need to be at ease with your choice and let the nosey ill informed people and their questions wash over you.

Congrats on the bump!

I had a c section for maternal choice (psychological reasons), although it became for medical reasons as yet more problems emerged later in pregnancy, and I ended up with and emergency section as waters broke at 35 weeks.
I got really fed up with community midwives asking why I wanted a section, I was under the care of the head consultant and having to see him twice weekly, sometimes more (complicated high risk pregnancy plus previous losses) he was an absolute rock of support all the way through, really amazing man.

Anyway I grumbled to him about being asked continually and while I was there, he telephoned the community midwives and and them if they were questioning his judgement! He also put a big handwritten note on the front of my notes saying that I was not to be questioned and instead any questions should be directed to him. That stopped it, perhaps you could get a sympathetic doctor or consultant to do the same?

It is frustrating, and for me it was distressing too, I honestly don't see that it is the place to midwives to question the judgment of consultants, not for high risk or complicated pregnancies at any rate. My midwife didn't understand half of the complications or treatment I was having in pregnancy, and despite admitting that she still advised me to refuse treatment, insisting that natural non medicated pregnancy was best. If I had taken her advice both DS and I would be dead, as the treatment was keeping us alive. She got a real ear bashing from consultant over that one, she was only supposed to take a urine sample and my blood pressure to save me driving to the hospital, but she insisted in trying to stick her oar in.

Sorry, rant over!

One last point, vaginal birth isn't always safer for mother and baby, it depends completely on the circumstances.

I had this problem so wrote a short A4 page stating very clearly and firmly why and gave it to people to read. It was a really good thing to do as I got very emotional when asked (previous loss amongst other reasons) and found it difficult to speak about. I wrote it originally for my (fantastic) consultant and she suggested I ask anyone who questioned me to read it.

I also take issue with the previous poster saying vaginal birth is safer for you and baby.

I'd ask whether it is possible to only see one (or perhaps two) MW from now on. I got sick of the team approach last time and just agreed with one MW that I would see her unless she was on holiday. She did go on holiday around the time when DD was born and each and every member of the local MW team phoned me and asked what happened. I was amazed that the first one wasn't able to write it down and leave the information for her colleagues. It really irritated me.

I've gone for private care this time (obviously expensive and not accessible to everyone) and part of my reason is that I'm having a CS due to the complications around DD's birth and I end up crying if I have to explain what happened. So by going private I only needed to explain once.

It might well seem reasonable to HCP to ask every time they see you, but actually it can be pretty devastating to have to relive a traumatic birth/recover and a bit of sensitivity is needed.

I wonder how often women who chose a VB are asked to repeat and justify their decision?