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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Has anyone given birth with no birthing partner?

14 replies

airhostess · 03/10/2014 22:58

Hi,
50/50 to whether partner will be there due to work and I don't/want anyone else to come with me.
Any tips?

OP posts:

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SoonToBeSix · 03/10/2014 23:04

Honestly unless he is in the forces I would insist he is there. All fathers are legally entitled to paternity leave.
Failing that have a family member or close friend or hire a doula, you will need someone there.

SoonToBeSix · 03/10/2014 23:04

Sorry missed the don't want anyone else to be there. I really would consider a doula.

ladybird69 · 03/10/2014 23:14

I wish I hadn't as my exh made things worse. Midwives or doula if I had to do it over again.

MummytoMog · 04/10/2014 09:34

Nearly. I definitely didn't want anyone else there if he didn't make it back. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for self employed people to turn down work for a baby who may choose to arrive at any point in a three week period. Just had to take our chances.

I had discussed with midwives and would have had a midwife stay with me in the MLU for my delivery rather than popping in and out as they normally so when you're accompanied.

Original poster

airhostess · 04/10/2014 13:36

Thanks for the feedback, mine works abroad and a baby will come when it wants too I guess.

OP posts:

devoncreamtea · 04/10/2014 14:11

If it's your 1st you may have time to give him a warning? Look out for the 'signs' - a show/bloody show; having a bit of clear out poo wise; periody cramp feelings; going more 'inwards' emotionally. But if you can cope with the idea of another person with you, I would reccommend it - even if they are just in the building - they don't need to see you in labour - but it might be good to have the option of company. It is difficult to predict how you will feel or what you will need on the day.

Good luck, I hope he makes it.

StrippedPJs · 04/10/2014 14:13

I did

I'm 21 and found it as lovely as it could be. I don't like to be with anyone when I'm in pain. I had a cat one c-section and was on my own and would do it again!

Rumours · 04/10/2014 14:20

I did, dh had to look after dc1. It was amazing! I knew dc1 was fine and just got on with it.

addictedtosugar · 04/10/2014 14:30

Sort of.
DH was in the house, but looking after DS1 til I screamed for him to dial 999.
Paramedics arrived after 5 mins, and the first one made it upstairs before DS2 was born. Second paramedic arrived after DS2.

I'd let the midwives know, and maybe have on your birth plan, why you might be alone - ie DH is abroad with work. Hope he will be back in 12/24 hrs etc.

Its not the giving birth bit I'd be concerned about, but after discharge from hospital assistance with a newborn. How soon would he be able to get back?

Asteria · 04/10/2014 14:33

I threw DS's father out half way through the early pre-push bit as he was being horrible to me and making me v stressed. DS then got stuck and I was carted off for emergency surgey with 15 students present! I would much rather have brought my child into the world in a relaxed and calm environment where I was able to concentrate on the most important thing - giving birth.
If you end up alone then don't be afraid to express everything to your midwife that you would to your DH. Take some lovely music (I had Moon Safari by Air) and concentrate on staying relaxed. Try and flip your thought of being "alone" to "just baby and I".
Good luck

MrsDavidBowie · 04/10/2014 14:35

I didn't for my second. I preferred just having me and midwife.

Original poster

airhostess · 04/10/2014 15:43

Thank you. Good to hear positive experiences ??

OP posts:

Lucy955 · 04/10/2014 19:49

Yep. I'm planning to be alone. We have a one year old son and quite frankly I would rather that his dad stayed with him and his routine was not disrupted more than it has to be by the new arrival. It wasn't like dh could do anything last time and he just ended up feeling like a spare part. More importantly his staying awake with me though the night meant we both went home sleep deprived and exhausted. Hope that this time he will be well rested and in a fit state to look after us all when we come home. My mum will also be around but she is older and given that she had a very traumatic time giving birth to her own babies I don't think it's fair to expect her to cope with mine as well. I think it has to be your choice but quite frankly last time I remember hearing most of the couples around me arguing anyway. Most men just seemed to be irritating there laboring partners. Mine on the other hand wisely sat completely still in the corner saying nothing and looking terrified.

LotsaTuddles · 04/10/2014 20:15

I may be alone too.

DH works 2 hours away, so if I go into labour in the day, he could well not make it back on time. I don't want anyone want anyone else there either.

Depending on what day and who's working, someone will meet me at the hospital to collect DS and if it's SiL she'll stay at the hospital, just definitely not in the room, at least until someone else can make it.

I'm not too worried about being on my own, would rather know DS is alright and didn't see too much tbh

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