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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Delaying TTC #2 due to bad birth of #1 how do I overcome it?

11 replies

Lucy1977 · 25/09/2006 21:36

Hi

My DD is 7.5 months old now and ideally we'd like to TTC no 2 at Christmas. However I cannot read a birth experience as I get pain in my episiotomy scar and feel really unwell.

DD was a 16 hour established labour (23 hours in total) and was back to back, ended up with forceps delivery and an extended episiotomy and millions of stitches.

Stitches have healed now and I don't have any pain during love making but I can't stop getting a pain/ache in the site of my episiotomy when I think/read about birth.

It's now getting to the point where I'm put off having another baby which is really sad as I love DD to bits and would love more children.

I really don't think I have PND or anything like that but if I talk to my Dr about this will he think I do?

Also, has anyone's old stitches opened up during subsequent labours? if I needed another episiotomty would they re-cut the old site or do the other side?

Thanks

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lulumama · 25/09/2006 21:46

there is stuff you need to deal with before TTC as your psychological response to birth is causing a physical response

some women get post traumatic stress disorder after a bad birth which is different to PND -

. lots you can do - talk to doc, talk to counsellor, talk to hospital and see if you can get your notes so can really debrief yourself on the birth. don't let this put you - lots of women have bad first experience and great second experience. MNET is a great place to find out womens'postitive experiences. no experience of episiotomy though.....you might not need a cut next time! think positive! you are ready to get this sorted!!

lulumama · 25/09/2006 21:53

i meant i'veno experience of episiotomy, not mnet!!!!
i had emergency c/s first then a vbac!

lulumama · 25/09/2006 21:53

i meant i'veno experience of episiotomy, not mnet!!!!
i had emergency c/s first then a vbac!

DrMaloryTowers · 25/09/2006 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 25/09/2006 22:03

6 years b/w mine,,,,,but once head sorted out and got lots of good vbac info - was plain sailing.,,,

pookey · 25/09/2006 22:08

Sounds like your not ready yet, my ds is 13 mo and I am only just begining to feel normal and ready to think of ttc. App the optimum gap between pregancies is 2 -21/2 years so that your body (and probably your mind) can recover and if it wasnt for dp's eagerness and practical considerations I would prob wait longer. Having said that I am atually begining to think aww wasnt it cute when he was a tiny baby waking up all night, and oooh sitting on cushions and rubber rings wasnt so bad afterall!

pookey · 25/09/2006 22:10

aptimum gap should probably be minimum gap?

Manoo · 27/09/2006 16:03

Type in Sheila Kitzinger to google and on her website there is a section called 'Birth Crisis' with telephone numbers. Those who have had traumatic births are enouraged to call, just to talk to a good listener and get it off their chest.

Am thinking of doing this myself as had a traumatic first birth and currently pregnant with second. My first was posterior (back to back) - have recently found out there are ways of avoiding the baby being posterior, or of turning it if it goes posterior. Go to www.homebirth.org.uk (you don't have to have a homebirth, that's just where I found the info on positioning), click contents, and click 'Get your baby in the best position for birth'.

Good luck!

3andnomore · 27/09/2006 20:54

HI there,
i really feel for you...I have had a really bad Birthexperience with my 3. Child, and even though there are plenty of reasons why we have decided not to have anymore children, one of them was that I really don't know how I could cope with another bad experience...in a way, sometimes I wonder, if I had a good one, it might be a healing experience, but on the other hand...there is no way anyone can promise you a good experience...I suppose I am really lucky that is was my 3. that was so bad, as at least I have got 2 positive experiences to look back on, too!
this is a link to another Parentforum which has a specific difficult Birth debriefing forum, which helped me loads
hope it is allowed to post that link...if not, I do apologise!
link{http://www.sheilakitzinger.com Sheila Kitzingers website that was mentioned earlier
I found, that talking about it helped me a lot. Maybe getting your notes and talking them over wiht a m/w or Constltant could help, or councelling if you do have Post Traumatic Stress disorder.

3andnomore · 27/09/2006 20:55

Oh Birthtrauma association
they might be helpful to you, too!

3andnomore · 27/09/2006 20:57

oops Sheila Kitzinger link didn't work out there, lol!
link

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