Delaying TTC #2 due to bad birth of #1 how do I overcome it?

[Lucy1977]

Hi

My DD is 7.5 months old now and ideally we'd like to TTC no 2 at Christmas. However I cannot read a birth experience as I get pain in my episiotomy scar and feel really unwell.

DD was a 16 hour established labour (23 hours in total) and was back to back, ended up with forceps delivery and an extended episiotomy and millions of stitches.

Stitches have healed now and I don't have any pain during love making but I can't stop getting a pain/ache in the site of my episiotomy when I think/read about birth.

It's now getting to the point where I'm put off having another baby which is really sad as I love DD to bits and would love more children.

I really don't think I have PND or anything like that but if I talk to my Dr about this will he think I do?

Also, has anyone's old stitches opened up during subsequent labours? if I needed another episiotomty would they re-cut the old site or do the other side?

Thanks

there is stuff you need to deal with before TTC as your psychological response to birth is causing a physical response

some women get post traumatic stress disorder after a bad birth which is different to PND -

. lots you can do - talk to doc, talk to counsellor, talk to hospital and see if you can get your notes so can really debrief yourself on the birth. don't let this put you - lots of women have bad first experience and great second experience. MNET is a great place to find out womens'postitive experiences. no experience of episiotomy though.....you might not need a cut next time! think positive! you are ready to get this sorted!!

i meant i'veno experience of episiotomy, not mnet!!!!
i had emergency c/s first then a vbac!

i meant i'veno experience of episiotomy, not mnet!!!!
i had emergency c/s first then a vbac!

6 years b/w mine,,,,,but once head sorted out and got lots of good vbac info - was plain sailing.,,,

Sounds like your not ready yet, my ds is 13 mo and I am only just begining to feel normal and ready to think of ttc. App the optimum gap between pregancies is 2 -21/2 years so that your body (and probably your mind) can recover and if it wasnt for dp's eagerness and practical considerations I would prob wait longer. Having said that I am atually begining to think aww wasnt it cute when he was a tiny baby waking up all night, and oooh sitting on cushions and rubber rings wasnt so bad afterall!

aptimum gap should probably be minimum gap?

Type in Sheila Kitzinger to google and on her website there is a section called 'Birth Crisis' with telephone numbers. Those who have had traumatic births are enouraged to call, just to talk to a good listener and get it off their chest.

Am thinking of doing this myself as had a traumatic first birth and currently pregnant with second. My first was posterior (back to back) - have recently found out there are ways of avoiding the baby being posterior, or of turning it if it goes posterior. Go to www.homebirth.org.uk (you don't have to have a homebirth, that's just where I found the info on positioning), click contents, and click 'Get your baby in the best position for birth'.

Good luck!

HI there,
i really feel for you...I have had a really bad Birthexperience with my 3. Child, and even though there are plenty of reasons why we have decided not to have anymore children, one of them was that I really don't know how I could cope with another bad experience...in a way, sometimes I wonder, if I had a good one, it might be a healing experience, but on the other hand...there is no way anyone can promise you a good experience...I suppose I am really lucky that is was my 3. that was so bad, as at least I have got 2 positive experiences to look back on, too!
this is a link to another Parentforum which has a specific difficult Birth debriefing forum, which helped me loads
hope it is allowed to post that link...if not, I do apologise!
link{http://www.sheilakitzinger.com Sheila Kitzingers website that was mentioned earlier
I found, that talking about it helped me a lot. Maybe getting your notes and talking them over wiht a m/w or Constltant could help, or councelling if you do have Post Traumatic Stress disorder.

Oh Birthtrauma association
they might be helpful to you, too!

oops Sheila Kitzinger link didn't work out there, lol!
link