Sorry this is so long.
Had a fairly traumatic birth with ds ending in emcs, now pregnant with dc2 rather unplanned and suffered badly with antenatal and postnatal depression and anxiety. My community mw is fully behind my request for an elcs and I had the appt with the consultant mw this morning which included a debrief.
Had a very long latent labour albeit with regular contractions and eventually turned up exhausted at the labour ward 3 days later at 7cm but no progression from then on. Ds was back to back and the notes indicated he was fully wedged so removing him during the emcs was challenging.
Mw said 'I'm not going to try to talk you into a vbac' just before she launched into exactly that. Her main point is I would be scheduled at 39 weeks (ds born 41+4) and I'm likely to go into labour before 40 weeks and it will be much quicker so if I went into labour they would probably let me vbac rather than bring the csec forward. Unlikely to be back to back and vbac would be straightforward and uncomplicated unlike a elcs.
I have another appt in 7-10 weeks to discuss elcs again but how realistic is it that someone who went 10 days overdue and had a long labour is likely to have a radical about turn in speed prior to 39 weeks so as to prevent having a csec? I'm terrified of epidurals so it's not the easiest decision for me to make to go for a csec but this birth needs to be different to last time and I can't be so out of control. My epidural and spinal was bodged last time so would prefer that to occur in a calm controlled environment.
Finding out I was pg again was difficult with the idea of birth looming again and bringing back the flashbacks. That went after my booking in appt with my community mw but after this morning I feel a wreck again.