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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Amusing Labour Stories?

28 replies

AvaLou · 21/09/2006 12:32

Do any of you have them? Any mishaps or funny things that happened whilst you were in labour?Mine was funny at the time, terrifying when I started mulling over what might have happened, and now I remember it amusingly again.

With DS I was 9cm dilated when the midwife broke my waters. I got a huge urge for the loo, and foolishly (out of habit I guess) locked the door behind me. I tried to open it and it wouldn't budge. I tried and tried then banged on the door and shouted to the midwife who was yelling instructions to me. It still wouldn't open, and I suddenly found it really hysterically funny (I blame the gas and air!)
So I was there laughing uncontrollably whilst also screeching in pain, with DH and five midwives and the receptionist all trying to open the door from the outside and panicking.
It took around 15 minutes for a maintenance person to come and unscrew the door and they finally burst it open to see me kneeling on the floor with my nightie around my neck, bum in the air (the midwife told me to assume that position to try and hold off the urge to push) , and still laughing like an idiot. He was born only a few minutes later. Why do they even have locks in delivery suite bathrooms?

With DD it's throwing up, a lot, down DH's back as I leant on him during a contraction.I also found that funnier than I ought to have. He had to go home from the hospital in a surgical scrub top. LOL.

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CheesyFeet · 21/09/2006 12:39

I was given a sleeping tablet when I was in labour as they thought I was going to be ages and I needed some rest. DH said in hindsight it was hilarious - I would snore loudly for 2 or 3 mins, then scream blue murder, then go back to snoring again

(I actually wish I had never let them give me that goddam pill, dd was born 6 hours after I was given it and I was TOTALLY out of it. I didn't feel as though I got any rest between contractions as all I remember is the pain and none of the bits inbetween )

Towards the end I went for a wee, I had a particularly strong contraction while I was in there and the midwife had to come in and hold my hand while I sat on the loo screaming and weeing.

Dignity? Hahahahaha

quokka · 21/09/2006 12:50

when I checked into the birth centre I got told to be quiet and calm down . Once I was in the water I threw up all my dinner and 2 glasses of red wine. I got quite a funney look from the midwife. I was in early stages of labour when I was at friends having dinner so thought another glass of wine would take the edge off. I too feel asleep between contractions but had no sleeping pills to blame, dh thought it was extremely funny. .

waterfalls · 21/09/2006 12:53

My sister gave birth to her 10lb8oz ds in a hospital corridor, it all happened so quick, she had no pain relief at all, she said it hurt so much, she was pushing the midvives away while trying to push her ds back in

harrisey · 21/09/2006 14:14

With my dd2, the waters didnt break until the last but one contraction. They went with a really audible (to me) POP and the midwife and traineee doc who was doing the delivery (who was very posh and dh referred to her a Dr Jolly Hockey Sticks) had to both have showers and change as they had both got a faceful of amniotic fluid and blood!
They probably didnt find it very funny bit I did!

MamaFeathersword · 21/09/2006 14:17

When DD was born, when I was told I could push (had a v strong epidural, couldn't feel a thing1) I asked if I could brush my teeth first, for some reason the midwife thought it was hilarious. The student midwife called my baby a stupid name, so I kicked her, hard, in the stomach.

When DS was born, I told the MW i needed to push and she was wittering on about how my waters hadn't broken, so she had a look - literally a second after she moved her head, I pushed and my waters broke like a fire hydrant! I would have wet myself laughing if she'd got a faceful.

ilovecaboose · 21/09/2006 14:23

The effects of long labour, epidural and lots of gas and air meant my mental faculties weren't working very well.

I was convinced I was reacting the birth scene from Dumbo - didn't occur to me for several days that Dumbo is famous for not having a birth scene.

Also spent a lot of time fighting the midwife for the gas and air (Her = 'yes dear, but you're supposed to breathe real air in between the contractions' - me = 'I don't wanna') and whispering to dp everytime my mum left the room 'Dude (and yes I did use that word), I'm really stoned, I'm like really high' - and dp pissing himself laughing.

Unsurprisingly have little recollection of my labour.

...oh who am I kidding - I say 'dude' all the time

samnbabes · 21/09/2006 15:19

LOL Don't think I did anything this amusing, although when my waters broke with ds, I refused point blank to go into the hospital until I'd shaved my legs. And made some very childish jokes to the doc about macrame whilst having my stitches done, (yup, gas & air again...)

janinlondon · 21/09/2006 15:29

I insisted that the discomfort was the probably just the baby engaging (as she was still somewhere up around my ribs) and laughingly joked with the midwife that they would be sending me home like they do with all hysterical first time mothers. She had a look and smiled sweetly at me, and in her best Caribbean accent said "Oh no, you in labour girl." I was ten cm. (Ha ha ha ha - very funny NOW!) How dumb could I be??? Then again, a friend on the antenatal ward for obs due to high blood pressure asked for some panadol as she had a tummy ache.....you can guess the rest.

Pruni · 21/09/2006 15:34

Message withdrawn

ginmummy · 21/09/2006 15:36

I peed on my midwife, partner and mother at the same time. I blame the gas and air. Wonderful stuff, wonderful day.

Gingeme · 21/09/2006 15:53

I had a water birth with ds3 and as I was pushing the midwife kept putting a little mirror on a stick in the water to see how I was doing. Remembering when there was a spate of car bombings a few years ago I said'you wont find any bombs in there'. Was funny at the time

Milliways · 21/09/2006 15:57

Father Christmas Yo Ho Hoing into the labour ward on Christmas day, & being told in no uncertain terms to YoHo off by my friend who was gutted about missing her Christmas Dinner when her little one arrived on his due date!

normalflora · 21/09/2006 16:17

My sis and my dp were with me and I had been in labour for days, so midwife suggested an epidural to give me a breather.

She put the needle for the catheter in the back of my hand as I was writhing in agony with my frequent (but fairly useless!) contractions. My sis sees a leeeetle bit of blood from where the needle goes in, and faints.

Cue midwife, 2 students, anaethetist and dp crowding round my sis and checking she's alright, getting her a chair to sit on, asking if she needs a drink, something to eat etc.

Cue weeping laughter from me and a quiet
"Hellloooooo, I'm over here...." [bemused emoticon]

FoghornLeghorn · 21/09/2006 16:24

Ha ha ha some of these are so funny There was nothing funny about my labour though - well apart from when I was in labour at home, BIL & SIL wanted to come round and see if I was OK which I was fine with, when contractions started getting bad BIL went as white as a sheet and suggested it was time they left.

Beauregard · 21/09/2006 16:28

Labour with dd1 i remember being so so hot and hanging off dp's neck as it was so painful and he was wearing a fleece top which was making me hotter so i made him take it off and he had to wear one of my t-shirt nighties instead

With dd2 dp was on the phone to the emergency services as it was so quick i was delivering on the bathroom floor and they must of said to him "can you see the head?"to which he replied "erm erm i think so"
He told me after that he wasn't sure if it was dd's head he could see or my fanny ,all he knew was that it was hairy

ginmummy · 21/09/2006 16:29

Gingeme - PMSL!!

pinkranger · 21/09/2006 16:35

PMSL at all these

largeginandtonic · 21/09/2006 16:59

Ds was 14 days late but my 2 year old was on the childrens ward with pneumonia, i stayed with him and the midwives tried to get me downstairs to be induced. I fobbed them off every time saying there was no way i was having this baby until ds was home. Ds was finally discharged at 6 on thursday eve, (my mum had said could you have the baby b4 fri pls as she had to go back to work) I went to the delivery suite on the way out for a sweep, ds in tow with exp. The midwife took ages and all the time i was thinking im not sure i need to be here. (I was having a homebirth) She arrived and examined me saying you are 5cm, i asked for my notes told her to call the oncall midwife. There began farcical dash from the hospital, i was crawling accross the carpark back to the car, exp had ds stapped in and ready to go. I leaned over the front seat as i could not sit. Exp drove very quickly home, we just dared a police car to pull us over although an escort to our house and not the hospital may have made him suspicious
We left the hosp at 730 and were home by 745, i crawled to the house, my mum opened the door and said ive run a bath 4 u. She didnt realise until then how close it was, i made it in to the bath and the midwife arrived. I refused to get out of the bath until the gas and air was ready (obviously!) It took a while for the midwife to park and unload, but gas and air all set up and ready i got out of the bath. DS4 was born at 815.
I said there you are, who says you cant control labour! He had waited for ds3 to come home and put in an appearance before friday

1Baby1Bump · 21/09/2006 17:06

when had ds2 in birth pool, i was at the pushing stage and had been swearing/a bit delerious etc when i felt my black hair scrunchie float off out of my hair.
i instructed dh to retrieve it but he was reluctant....
midwife was also instructing him it was a large poo and not to retrieve it!
he did in the end. i was mortified she thought i'd done a poo that huge and bumpy!

Original poster

AvaLou · 21/09/2006 17:12

LOL what funny stories.

With both of mine I yelled 'shut up' to anyone who was talking during a contraction (except I said it far less politely, lol)
This ranged from my DH to the hospital receptionist, the ambulance attendant,some random people walking down the corridor in the hospital, the nurse who was just helpfully bringing me a fan, etc, LOL.

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 21/09/2006 17:15

Oh dear, Avalou, you're right it's a terrible story - but also very funny! I never managed a complete toilet trip between contractions and would yell out for dh to come and help me. I bet it's the only time in his life that he's dashed into a women's toilet without the slightest hesitation - time after time after time!

Wisp · 21/09/2006 17:24

In labour with Ds1, off my face on gas and air, and also out of it with the pain. In between contractions we were watching the TV and bewitched came on (the original series)
Cue huge contraction lots of gas and air, and me saying high as a kite " Oooooh I love bewitched do do do do do do do do do do( singing the theme tune), I wish i was magic like samantha"!
The look on the midwives face

bran · 21/09/2006 17:33

pelvicfloornomore, are you the one who was on tv with that series that followed ambulance men around? I seem to remember that an unexpected home birth that they attended was a mnetter.

Blu · 21/09/2006 17:38

dp was like Basil Fawlty for the early part of labour - occasionally breaking into Corporal Jones 'Don't panic! Don't Panic!', and doing the most inappropriate things.

I ate an entire cherry loaf cake at some stage, and then, on all fours during transition, shouted to dp 'I'm going to be sick'. Looking wildly round for something he grabbed the wastepaper bin, full of apple cores, sanitary pads soaked in amniotic fluid, etc, and for some reason up-ended it straight into the midwive's open handbag before putting it in front of me.

ilovecaboose · 21/09/2006 18:52

PMSL at Blu's dp

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