First baby - homebirth

[DashingRedhead]

Sorry to add yet another homebirth thread, but all the previous threads seem to be either started or answered by people having second or later babies at home. I'm planning a homebirth and it's my first. Is there anyone out there who did it successfully?

A midwife told me that 40% of first-time mums planning homebirths end up transferring to hospital and that the reason is usually maternal exhaustion. She said the secret is not to throw yourself into it too early, save your energy and pretend nothing is happening for a while. If you peak too early, you won't make it.

Anyone else have any useful advice for me? Thanks.

I had a home waterbirth in January. It was such a fantastic experience. I would advocate it to anyone. We did have a bit of a rough patch where the midwife told us that it was likely we would have to go into hospital because there were three other ladies wanting homebirths at the same time, but we fought it and secured a different, very lovely midwife who was prepared to put herself on call throughout Christmas and New year. She was an angel. I would really go for it if you feel able. We faced a bit of pressure from people because we were having our first bvaby at home, but at the end of the day, only you know what your up for and how much you can go through. I personally didn't find it that bad, although we did run out of gas and air. i would ensure that you have enough in reserve before hand. But, we did everything we wanted...music, candles, oil burners and it all helped to make it a really memorable achievement. And DD is the calmest of children. 8 months now and has slept through since 6 weeks (she has never woken in the night ...has she found my gin?) Good luck with whatever you choose...but do really give consideration to a homebirth and don't be pushed around. I'd be dead happy to email you with info and contacts if you needed support.

Hi, I've had 2 home births and both were fab in their different ways. My first daughter was born in a birthing pool in our bedroom in Rickmansworth, Herts, after a "forever" labour whereby my husband was the Pool Attendant and the 2 midwives changed clothes three times due to getting so wet! (they should have just got in with me!) We all actually laughed our way through it and it was calm, relaxed and surreal when "it" finally happened. Second daughter was born on the lounge floor after a night in labour. (my oldest was then 3 and she even said "will the baby come tonight mummy?") She came downstairs in the morning to see me curled up in my dressing gown stuffing myself with pain-au-chocolat and fresh coffee. I'll never forget her little face when she saw me/ then the midwives/ then gran/ then the moses basket which now had something in it!!!! i'll treasure that memory and it couldnt have gone better second time round if I'd have dreamed it. Giving birth at home just has to be THE best way to bring a baby into the world. So relaxed, so calm AND you can eat all day/ night and no-one will tell you off. Both times the midwives just bimbled around my home flicking with the Sky channels and rumaging round the kitchen for food. (I was more than happy with that - it showed they were comfortable with me and it felt like I had friends round for company) In between a bit of monitoring and report writing they left me and Simon to get on with it privately. I cannot recommend doing it at home enough and I wish anyone luck whos contemplating it now. Trust in your instincts and stand firm to any resistance - especially if you're fit and healthy during your pregnancy. ps. I'm going to be in Practical Parenting magazine as someones whos had 2 homebirths and I must say MY story is quite funny even if I say so myself!! x

hudgebar's post was intersing for me, I read the S K homebirth book aswell and was really fired up with the belief that birth is such a natural experience and intervention at hospital is too blame for this that and the other but when I transferred to hospital I was still aiming to go without pain relief and kept refusing an epidural, unfortunately I had told my mum all the complications associated with an epidural so she tried to persuade me not to have one which didnt help. But finally agreeing to have an epidural probably helped me to avoid having a ceasarean - with the pain gone I felt human again and was able to relax and focus on pushing.

I also told women at work who asked about my feelings about approaching birth that i was having a homebirth and that it was a natural process and I was looking forward to it blah blah blah and when two of them came to my house for dinner a few months after the birth one of them laughed and said they used to go off into a corner and giggle about the fact that I would probably end up giving birth in hospital and that I didnt know what I was letting myself into etc - I have never felt so hurt or such a failure! If I ever become pregnant again and decide to have a home birth i think I will keep quiet about it! Sorry to ramble but i guess what i am trying to say is dont get too caught up in the romanticism of home birth and remember that (cliche coming) the baby is all that matters and the real challenge is motherhood, so read some really good books about motherhood aswell (naomi Stalden's 'what mothers do - especially when it looks like nothing' was helpful for me).

I had both my children at home, 2 very different experiences. I can't imagine having a baby in hospital, because i know that am most relaxed and labour best at home. It sounds like you know it's what you want which is the most importatnt thing.

The first was 5 hours start to finish i ended up with a 3rd degree tear and transfered to be stitched. I wasn't at all prepared mentally to be transfered so i would recommend packing a bag properly (putting in the nice stuff IYKWIM). I think that tears are another major reason for transfer so it's worth doing the perineal massage and thinking carefully about positions for pushing that do not put weight on perineum (sp?) like hands and knees, leaning on a birthing ball or if knackered lying on your side. My second labour was 2 1/2 hours start to finish also at home, not a stitch needed and i was tucked up in my own bed an hour later, perfect! I just wished someone had explained how badly you can tear in a bad position and how different it can be in a good one. I hope all goes well for you and that you get the opportunity to tuck up in be afterwards, if not transfering is a wonderful thing if it means ensuring that you and your little one are fine.

I had both my children at home, 2 very different experiences. I can't imagine having a baby in hospital, because i know that am most relaxed and labour best at home. It sounds like you know it's what you want which is the most importatnt thing.

The first was 5 hours start to finish i ended up with a 3rd degree tear and transfered to be stitched. I wasn't at all prepared mentally to be transfered so i would recommend packing a bag properly (putting in the nice stuff IYKWIM). I think that tears are another major reason for transfer so it's worth doing the perineal massage and thinking carefully about positions for pushing that do not put weight on perineum (sp?) like hands and knees, leaning on a birthing ball or if knackered lying on your side. My second labour was 2 1/2 hours start to finish also at home, not a stitch needed and i was tucked up in my own bed an hour later, perfect! I just wished someone had explained how badly you can tear in a bad position and how different it can be in a good one. I hope all goes well for you and that you get the opportunity to tuck up in be afterwards, if not transfering is a wonderful thing if it means ensuring that you and your little one are fine.

oops!

Pookey- that's a good point not to tell anyone if you are planning a homebirth. We didn't tell anyone, because I didn't want to listen to people's opinions or feel pressured into doing something I didn't want to do. I didn't want anyone thinking that I was a failure if I didn't have a home birth. I did have a home birth and it was very traumatic. Family then got offended that we hadn't told them before the event. Still don't know whether I would choose a home birth again.

I had another tip that I forgot to add before - get in some gel bars for energy during labour - you can get them in outdoorsy/cycling shops for energetic types who run & cycle up mountains, but they're a also great way of getting a quick burst of energy that won't make you feel sick during labour!

I started having a homebirth and ended up transferring to hospital 18 hours later. I ended up getting a c-section.

I was exhausted and I hadn't made any progress in 10 hours after a very quick start.

Still I don't regret trying the homebirth. I do live 20 min from a hospital so didn't see it as a high risk choice.

Hope this helps (yes it was my first baby), good luck!

"i had been pushing on a not completely dilated cevix - MAKE SURE THEY CHECK YOU'RE FULLY DILATED BEFORE YOU START PUSHING! Home was wonderful. Transfer was ok but i did feel disappointed."

I second this. They thought I was in stage two when I was only 8cm and this ended up swelling my cervix and slowing everything down.

I'm one of the 40% who transfer, but I'm still glad I did it. I used the TENS machine from first twinge, then pool, and didn't need anything else at all unitil DS was born with ventouse, and I demanded an epidural. But throughout 28 hours of labour and 3.5 hours of pushing at home I was pretty much ok.
Get a TENS machine, get a pool, relax! Don't tell anyone when you go into labour - you really don't want loads of phonecalls asking about progress!
Do pack a bag, though. I was so determined not to go in that we had no bag packed. DP packed one in about 10 secs, and I ended up with 144 breastpads and no toothbrush or clothing / nightwear.

I had my first child at home at the age of 37. I was not encouraged but insisted and ensured I followed up. I exercised throughout the pregnancy (spinning, yoga, swimming) to keep the stamina up. I used a homebirth hypnotherapy CD to which I contribute a positive state of mind throughout the birth. I also did breathing exercises. The main thing is preparation. Of the 12 hours labour, 6 hours were comfortable, then used some gas and air but ran out towards the end and still managed to cope. Also get some dextrose (sugar) to eat throughout labour to keep energy up and if you're into it, childbirth homeopathy kit. It's important also to surround yourself by people able to give you decent support. I had a friend around who herself had two natural births and she massaged me throughout contractions.

i had my first in hospital much to my discust as i had a home borth planned but my blood pressure rose too high so i had to go in and in the end it was probably for the best as i was in labour for 36hours and was 20 minutes away from a c section when my son decided he wonted to make his way into the world
but with my second son i was determined nothing was going to stop me having a home birth because how stressed i felt in hospital with my first
and i did have my second at home i had 14 hours labour and lots of gas and air but being able to use my own toliet and relax in my own home well as relaxed as you can be was an amazing experience for me even though i suffered shoulder dystotia with my second son and it was touch and go if he was going to survive but he did and i would still have another home birth and looking back on it even though my second was very scary i still look back with fonder memories than i do my first hope this helps

i had my first in hospital much to my discust as i had a home borth planned but my blood pressure rose too high so i had to go in and in the end it was probably for the best as i was in labour for 36hours and was 20 minutes away from a c section when my son decided he wonted to make his way into the world
but with my second son i was determined nothing was going to stop me having a home birth because how stressed i felt in hospital with my first
and i did have my second at home i had 14 hours labour and lots of gas and air but being able to use my own toliet and relax in my own home well as relaxed as you can be was an amazing experience for me even though i suffered shoulder dystotia with my second son and it was touch and go if he was going to survive but he did and i would still have another home birth and looking back on it even though my second was very scary i still look back with fonder memories than i do my first hope this helps

I tried twice for a homebirth, and I'm glad I did

but I would say even if you Know Your Rights about being attended by a mw at home it really is incredibly stressful to have to demand one during a first or indeed any labour and if staffing shortages are an issue where you live, it's worth thinking about. The mw who came for DS1s labour, entually, was a complete stranger, not great for me, and so for DS2 we forked out for an independent mw, which was better.

Sorry gals, you're gonna hate me, but why on earth are you 'dissapointed' about 'failing' to deliver a baby at home? Can I ask you why so many of you actually think that a hospital birth is a failiure? I really don't get this. Every birth with a healthy baby and mum is a success, it's not because you give birth in hospital that the birth is worth less than if you would have given birth at home.

I've heard some positive stories about home births, but also some terrible, tragic stories, including a still birth that could have been avoided if in hospital. Don't want to scare anyone but please, do get as much info about a homebirth before making that choice. Everybody here is on the same side which I think is not a reflextion of general opinion and position.

BTY, being 20 minutes away from a hospital is a very long way. I delivered DS1 in hospital after a string of complications, and the 2 minutes journey from the delivery room to the surgery room was the longest journey in my life. I can't imagine how I would feel if I'd have to go through a long transfer knowing that the baby is in danger.

Also, for the comments that some mums go to hospital too early for delivery; there is a reason for that and please don't make those mums feel stupid. In my local hospital, if you don't get there early there's no guarantee that you'll have a room for delivery and might have to go through most of the labour in a communal area - I have seen this, I'm not making it up. So midwives actually recommend that you go in early to ensure that you'll have a bed when things get more difficult.

Blueberry, well done for saying this.

The doctors told me my baby would have died if I'd had a homebirth, as they had 5 minutes to get him out alive. If we hadn't been next door to an operating theatre he wouldn't have made it. Childbirth is very unpredictable, and horrible things can happen very quickly.

By the time I transerred to hospital, I was quite happy to do so, and knew it was the right thing to do. I didn't feel as if I had failed at all. I felt a bit sad that DS was OP and had got stuck - but I was very glad we had the back up of hospital when we needed it.

Having been at home for the first part, I felt confident.

And the obstetricain said 'if you had been labouring in hospital, this baby would have been born by section hours ago!' My personal perspective was that I was glad I hadn't needed a CS. But others may well feel differently.

Hi DRH
I had a home birth with my first in November 2004. My midwife was very supportive and let me get onwith things. I would recommend you get TENS machine, some soluble paracetomal, a packet of disposable changing mats, waterproof sheets (although I didn't actually use mine) and some old towells. Also I used Bachs rescue remedy diluted in a sports water bottle and arnica tablets afterwards.

The best thing was curling up in bed afterwards with DH and DD after a bath in my own bath, a wee in my own toilet etc.

There was no mess, and it was really lovely. My MW suggetsed that my DD was so chilled out in the first weeks of her life due to the unstressed labour and birth she had experienced.

The only thing I would suggest is get DH to screen calls/visitors, as you are at home people felt they were okay to just pop round and stop as long as they like. Put a sign on the door and tell people you are having visiting hours (like you would in hospital).
This ensures your DH does not spend his paterntity leave making drinks for everyone and actually gets to help you with the baby. You all need time to adjust and get used to becoming a bigger unit, not just you as the new Mum.

It is so exciting and you just want everyone to meet your wonderful addition that is only afterwards you realise how tiring it all was and wish you had asked people to leave a little earlier. To be honest nobody will mind, it tended to be those who had not gone through it themselves who were most ignorant of how tired you might be, it was not that they didn't care it was that they didn't know.

Also get people to help out, if people do visit get them to make you and DH a drink, and bring a cake or shepherds pie with them.

My DH who was not sure if he wanted to be there initially ended up looking at the head crowning and cutting the cord as he said it all felt so relaxed and natural, not at all medical as you see it on the telly.

Make sure you get some support with breastfeeding if that is what you intend to do, either through MW, HV, NCT or LLL.

Get some biscuits for the MWs and a couple of magazines for all of you. Make sure there is film in your camera as you can get some really great photos as they have just popped out.

Good luck

I'm hoping for a homebirth (as I've probably said on this thread already!) for the reasons that Charleymouse has stated, plus I want to feel in control and calm - I know that I won't feel those things to the same extent if I have a hospital birth. Of course if there's real risk to me or baby I will listen to the midwife and transfer immediately but I still think that I will not have had the birth I've wanted or planned for if that happens. That said, if circumstances like that occur and we end up in hospital, then I think I'll just be happy to get through it and not worry about the rest - sometimes I think the anxiety and anticipation is worst!

Squishy - that is exactly how I feel. In an ideal scenario (!) it will all take place calmly at home. But I am not going to ignore advice from the midwives. We have a pretty high homebirth rate here and they are committed to it. If they feel that I'd be better off in hospital, they will have their reasons. But as a low-risk pregnancy, I stand a good enough chance of getting through at home.

Thanks to everyone for their advice and good wishes. I do understand that some people think it foolhardy, but we're all different and it's only 5mins to the hospital. I've visited the Labour Ward and though I'm sure it's fine, I would rather be at home.

I actually made the decision not to do the labour ward tour (supported by one of the midwives) as I decided it wouldn't help me to relax any more and sometimes knowledge doesn't help! I had a good chat with the SOM yesterday (as I am having a pool and they kept saying I couldn't have a pool birth without a supervisor checking it but none of them could come until a week after I get it....) and feel much better, she explained that a lot of women have unreasonable expectations of home births and their over cautiousness is really just trying to prevent that sort of misunderstanding. It helped me a lot to realise that they are very supportive of home births and not just pessimistic!