First baby - homebirth

[DashingRedhead]

Sorry to add yet another homebirth thread, but all the previous threads seem to be either started or answered by people having second or later babies at home. I'm planning a homebirth and it's my first. Is there anyone out there who did it successfully?

A midwife told me that 40% of first-time mums planning homebirths end up transferring to hospital and that the reason is usually maternal exhaustion. She said the secret is not to throw yourself into it too early, save your energy and pretend nothing is happening for a while. If you peak too early, you won't make it.

Anyone else have any useful advice for me? Thanks.

Sorry. Belatedly catching up with this thread.

The books I'd recommend for those of you planning home births are ...

This one by Sheila Kitzinger.

This by Ina May Gadkin is brilliant and

Active Birth by Janet Balaskas.

Sheila Kitzinger has written other good ones on the subject too.

Have you thought about hiring a doula? They can be a great help especially in the early stages when you may not feel like calling the midwife out. I have doula'd for lots of homebirth clients and also had doulas (actually they were friends of mine who just happened to be doulas!) at my own homebirth. They were a great complement to the medical side of things - focused purely on the emotional side and knew instinctively what I needed and when. Also helped a lot with the practical side such as filling the birth pool, massaging my back and reassuring my DH! I would add that first births often can be long - not so much that they are long as such but because you do not know what to expect and many Mums get very excited at the first signs of labour and start practising all their breathing and relaxation and stuff so that by the time they hit active labour they are already exhausted. So in a way I think your midwife is right - but she is saying it in quite a negative way IYKIM? I guess the other thing to think about is that being at home in early labour can be the nicest place to be - you can relax, take a bath, watch TV, hang out with DH without all that monitoring and "medical" attention. If you subsequently decide to transfer in then so be it, you haven't "failed".

I had a hb just under 8 weeks ago with my first (who is dozing in his bouncy chair as I type). I would def say relax/ignore in early stages if you can. My 'established' labour was recorded as 6am Mon morning until 2pm Mon afternoon, but I had been having contractions (sometimes pretty intense) for about 12 hrs before that. Unfortunately my contractions felt like really bad back pain, and I found it difficult to keep still. Some things I tried in early labour were watching classic b/w films, bath, comedy on the radio and (bizarrely) doing a quiz questions with my DH and mum. Also tried to sleep during the night (lying on my side) but the most I managed was dozing.

Having my mum there was invaluable as she was able to support DH and was really practical as well. If you don't have the kind of relationship with your mum that would allow you to relax (most important thing I think) I would recommend a trusted female friend or doula.

The way I approached the birth was not to have too many fixed ideas, just 'see how it goes', but did find antenatal yoga (particularly the breathing excercises) really useful, also being surrounded by other women, who didn't think I was mad for trying for hb (many many 'Oh you're brave' comments from other people)

they HAVE to provide a midwife at a homebirth - they cannot force you into hospital, they legally have to find a midwife.

when i went into labour there were NO midwifes available in my local community ... they told me this, hinting i would have to go to hosital, i refused and 40 minutes later a midwife from a completly different hospital 8 miles away knocked oon the door,

they will send someone

hello - i had a bome birth with my first and dd was safely delivered into the world by 2 amazing midwives. She is now 11 weeks old and we feel truly blessed that we had her delivered at home.

The statistics are there and i think the way to do it is to keep an open mind that you may need to transfer into hospital but you should always try for a home birth. I think the key is to believe that your body knows what to do and believe that you can have the baby without intervention or drugs - although i loved the gas and air.

I agree with the others about taking it easy in the beginning. My waters broke at 1 am but nothing really much happened until 12 lunchtime and dd was born at 9.30 pm. We went for a walk and did some shopping and then chilled out at home. I recommend using the bath. i got up on all fours for each contraction and then when it passed lay back down in the water on my left. This really seemed to relax me in between.

Great book to read is 'new active birth' search it on amazon this was really great for positions and how your partner can help.

We also had plastic covered in lots of towels and some maternity mats from boots too.

All i can say is go for it, it is amazing!!!

am i the only one that didnt niggle for hours??

with both my boys, contractions started thick and fast and both boys were born 5 hours later

i didnt have any niggly pains or uncomfatable contractions - were strong & painful from the go.

no kitty you're not the only one, waters broke at 3am, contractions started at 4.30am, 10cm dilated by 5.30am baby born at 8am!

I'm planning for a home birth first time around, too. Pool should be arriving in 2 weeks. Midwife initially very supportive, but then seemed to keep emphasising that I may have to go to hospital (blood pressure etc) - I figure optimism is fairly important!!

I had a homebirth for my first and it was absolutely fantastic, I loved it, dh loved it, no complications, v. straightforward. I think because I was relaxed maybe it took less time (6hrs). I actually had much better care than I would have had I gone into hospital - 3 midwives in attendance. If everything has been fairly straightforward with your pregnancy, and you feel comfortable with it, I would definitely recommend it!

I feel very encouraged - thanks for all the positive stories!

Mrs Malumbas - I would be more inclined to ask my mother to keep me company as we're very close and I would rather have her with me than a stranger. Also, I must point out, the midwife was not being negative. I asked her the question and she told me what I wanted to know and how best to avoid that scenario. I feel it's only fair to her to stress that. I have been extremely fortunate in my experience of midwives so far.

I've got the Janet Balaskas and will be studying it in some detail. Good luck to everyone else who's planning one. I'm sure we'll all see each other on the Birth Announcements!

Sorry haven't read all of the thread but my homebirth experience was much like smellen's, I laboured for 41 hours at home then transferred to hopital where due to the position and size of the baby I ended up with a forceps birth after another 10 hours. But i donot regret choosing a home birth, I was taken into hospital by ambulance and senior midwives took over from the community team, the community midwives were great and all three came to see me in hospital once ds was born and then did some of my post natal checks. I would def request a homebirth for a second pregnancy if I was eligible.

I agree with your midwife's comment try and just get on with things for as long as poss, I was too excited and called the midwives in too early, wish I had just relaxed and let ds take his time with things maybe he would have turned himself given more time in the home environment without the drip to speed up contractions.
Go for it :-)

Hi, I had both mine at home. The first was in London and I had fantastic supportive midwives from my local hospital, 7 hours and all was well.

Planned to have a homebirth with my 1st - managed 18 hours at home (didn't feel like 18 hrs have to add...was surprised when i looked at the clock - felt more like 4) Had to get transfered as, IMHO i think the midwives panicked...i had been pushing on a not completely dilated cevix - MAKE SURE THEY CHECK YOU'RE FULLY DILATED BEFORE YOU START PUSHING! Home was wonderful. Transfer was ok but i did feel disappointed.

DS was born with ventose at hospital 3 hours later.

DD was born at home - 3 hrs max! Wonderful. My mum was present which was brilliant - really helped to have someone there who had been through labour before and who was really close to me.

MY advice

Don't clock watch

Go with the wonderful surges of power each contraction brings - don't resist them

Labour is just that - hard work and intense. Rest early on..then move around upright when things start progressing. Tell all attending your labour that you want quiet so you can concentrate...inc midwives!

Crunch ice cubes - brilliant! Couldn't get enough of them.

TENS machine - worked wonders

Bottle of champange in the fridge.

Homebirth is wonderful...in fact all birth is wonderful. Good luck!

Had my first baby at home. It was absolutely wonderful, would recommend it to anyone. As long as you have had a healthy pregnancy and you and baby remain in good health throughout the birth no reason at all why you should have to go to hospital. It was marvellous.

i had my first baby at home - it was brilliant - i was completely relaxed, so was dp. i felt in control because it was my house. dp could be with me the whole time, not sent home because hospital visiting hours did not agree, then he and i could spend as much time as we wanted with the baby afterwards - there was no one to chase him away then either.

i thought at one point that i'd made the wrong decision and was going to have to be rushed to hospital, but the midwives knew otherwise. they were amazing.

having a baby at home is all about you - you don't have to put up with anyone else's agenda.

one bit of advice - try to eat something as soon as labour starts, i left it too late and threw up everything i consumed, which left me lacking in energy.

another positive - my birth notes were at my house till i was discharged by my midwife so i could peruse them at my leisure. it really helped me to understand all that had happened.

Hi Dashingredhead, I tried for a homebirth for my first baby despite alot of opposition from consultants etc. I hired a birthing pool (hexagonal) from the good birthing company can not recommend highly enough. started labour on xmas day and managed the first 8 hours with a tens machine, tv and chocolates! whilst bouncing up and down on an exercise/birthing ball also took walk in local park. popped into local hospital that evening (felt too guilty to call out mw on bank holiday) who confirmed early stages of labour. Returned home to xmas dinner. Awoke at 3am in FULL labour and climbed into to lovely warm pool which we had filled prior to going to bed managed 3 hours in pool with some gas and air but unfortuatley blood pressure went up and had to be transferred in (only live 5 mins from hospital) ended up having to have forceps delivery however no regrets both myself and husband were glad to have had the time at home and I know I remained alot calmer as a result and had lovely boxing day baby. Recommend that you prepare as much as possible mw will suggest items but plastic sheeting from diy stores very handy. As was a hessian dust sheet to walk on so the plastic does not stick to your feet. An old duvet under birthing pool to add cushioning. biscuits for midwifes and birthing partners and don't forget the hospital bag in case you do have to be transferred (pack a disposable camera in the event you leave your camera behind like we did. GOOD LUCK

If I had waited any longer to go into hospital, I would have had a home birth! I was 6 days late and still hadn't packed all my bits to take in with me! My waters broke at 5am, phoned the hospital at 7am and they said to come in. My contractions were lasting 30-60 secs and were about 30-60 secs apart. Arrived at the hospital around 7:45 and I know we had been waiting for at least 30 mins before anyone saw me. And that was only because they saw me standing in the corridor. They examined me and said this baby is coming, wheeled me into a delivery room and I had my DS by 9:22am. The midwife said that I should have a homebirth next time!

I was also very lucky. Thomas had a knot in his cord and I also had a Placental Abruption. So very lucky, as a friend of mine lost her baby to a Placental Abruption. Thomas had decided he'd had enough of life on he inside and wanted out. Fast!

i had my first baby at home too. Do eat a 'proper' meal as soon as you realise what is going on - you will need all your energy. I did manage to eat small mouthfuls throughout, but this doesn't suit everyone. Try and sip as much water as you can too!. I used a Tens machine and was in and out of the shower (without the Tens machine!!). Be as 'actvity' as you can, change positions regularly, walk about, etc. Plastic sheets and towels are essential - as are biscuits for the midwives.

Talk to your birthing partner beforehand and discuss what you would like to happen in different scenarios. And include things like do you want your baby washed straight away,(We just wrapped our baby up and didn't bath her until 24hours after). who will cut the cord? etc

Relax and let your body do what it needs to do for childbirth!

It is amazing to become someones Mum!

I planned a home birth for my ds and managed about 40 hours of labour at home with good support from community midwife. Things started off quietly and I just got on with every day things, bit of cooking & shopping. I couldn't sleep through contractions at all so I was quite exhausted and also baby's heart rate started going up so transferred to hospital where the midwife was really encouraging and I managed to push him out under my own steam with no interventions after another couple of hours.

Thinking back the community midwife was maybe being a bit over cautious, but I have absolutely no regrets over transferring as all went well for me.

I recommend taking baths as they a very relaxing, and can also get things going - if you have enough space in your house hire a pool. I also had my younger sister with me who was a fantastic back up for when dh got exhausted! - I was there (aged 7) when she was born and she was there for my ds which is really nice.

I hadn't packed a bag for hospital so had a midwife plus dh rushing round throwing things together at the last minute & we forgot our camera, but lukily my sister had hers as no shops open at 1am !

Best of luck x

I had babies 1 and 3 at home, lovely, no problems. Only had baby 2 in hospital because we were living in Switzerland at the time where homebirthwas unheard of and not an option.. Also didn't tell gp I wanted homebirth until about 36 weeks - we both knew he couldn't 'refuse' and that legally, a midwife had to be present. Depends on you really - I had never considered anything other than havng baby at home but kep quiet about it until near term 'cause I knew family and dh would kick up. Be strong. Its a great option imo

BTW, baby 3 was born at home in Holland where homebirths are the norm and it was a truly lovely experience, relaxed, professional, a male midwife who was fab. just felt right. Good luck

I had my ds, first baby at home just over 4 months ago and would totally recommend home births to everyone.
I had a pool from poolinabox.com and it was fab.
My tips would be:

• feel confident in your own ability to do it
• persuade dh that it won't be as messy at tv leads you to believe
• get plastic sheeting in (the pool company sent a big enough one)
• get biscuits/snacks/tea in for midwives, husband, etc.
• use lots of gas and air, it's great
• EAT EAT EAT as soon as you THINK it might be starting (i ran out of energy and they kept forcing undiluted orange squash down me to up my sugar levels, yuk!)
• don't worry if you think/ask to go to hosp if your midwives know what you want they will keep you at home

think that's it. i was in labour for 19/20 hours and it flew by, no stitches, no tearing, in my own bath then to my own bed afterwards, perfect

go for it!
kt

I tried to have both babies at home, and if we decide to have more, I'd try again.

DS1's heart rate got into problems so we had to be 'blue-lighted' in, but the NHS community midwife came with me and fended off the waiting surgical team to allow me to give birth naturally (he arrived 20 mins after we did). Having been 'flagged' as a homebirth labouring mum, I genuinely believe I was treated better and faster when I did have to go into hospital, as the staff knew it wasn't where I'd wanted to be. And the midwife+ambulance scenario meant we were seen and bedded immediately, which I know isn't always the case.

DS2 was 16 days late, at which point the community midwives said they weren't comfortable with a homebirth. They'd been really supportive up to then (homebirth was first option they offered), and to be honest, I didn't want a big fight when in labour. Hospital midwife who delivered DS2 was a community one doing overtime and fab, but postnatal ward was hellish and manned by uber-witches. Go for early discharge if poss!

Tips:

1. go for a homebirth - even if it doesn't make it all the way at home, you may find you'll be treated better if you have to go into hospital
2. go on the labour ward tour - so you know what to expect, if you're like me and want to have all your bases covered
3. watch birthing programmes (eg discovery channel) if you can - it 'normalised' all the medical stuff to an extent
4. consider hot baths for pain relief - the only thing that worked for me. much easier to warm up and clean up than the birthing pool in the end!
5. however and wherever it happens, try to have people who love and support you with you - it's all that really matters.

Good luck!

Its great to hear all your experiences, I am 22wks with our first and have suggested from the beginning that I would like a home birth and my two community midwives have been non commital but vaguely supportive, so far I have just been told that as long as everything goes OK up till that point then they don't see why not. I hadn't heard the 40% thing before, but would be interested in which books you found useful.
Has anyone had a waterbirth at home?

I tried to have a homebirth with my first, had a baby who got stuck (for complicated, but not serious reasons) ended up transferring to hospital and it all went a bit pear-shaped from there. Second baby at home in a pool, much better experience, but also baby was round the right way and it was much faster as it was the second one.

All I would say to a first-timer wanting a home birth is great, have a go - but be easy on yourself. I read up on the 'wonders' of home birth before my first and think I was pretty mentally and physically prepared for it, but for me, birth was incredibly painful and traumatic. I think if I'd had a better, more confident midwife I would have stayed at home and it would have been better (that's why I got an independent midwife second time round) but I still felt totally unprepared for how painful and terrifying it was for me and I felt like I'd really failed for not staying at home - and part of that, perhaps a small part, but still significant, was the fault of the 'home birth brigade'. Labour isn't always great for all women, but I feel sometimes that you're not allowed to say that, unless you are blaming the NHS. The skill of the midwife the second time round made me believe I wasn't dying that time, but it was still not something I would chose to do again. This isn't meant to scare - just to say, plan for what you think you want now, but then be prepared to change if you want to when labour starts. Don't beat yourself up if you are not baking cakes like the lucky lot who do that sort of thing in early labour, but find yourself wimpering in the corner instead. It's your body, your baby, and you need to bring it into the world the way that suits you best. I'm honestly not having a go at women who have a good experience of home birth - although obviously I'm jealous. It's just that I think some of them (like Sheila K, who I admire in many ways) don't comprehend what it's like for those of us who find birthing is a sport we're not much good at. Now mothering, that I can do ...