A question for midwives

[PrettyCandles]

During the second stage of my last labour, while I was trying to birth dd's head, the midwife several times seemed to be putting her finger into the front of my vagina. I think that's what she was doing, but I'm not sure. It was distinctly painful.

Do you know what she was doing and why?

not qualified or anything but had same experience with both my children.i think its to try to gently stretch you whilst the head is coming out to give it more room and make it easier.just a thought and to let you know you're not alone.

was she checking to make sure the cord wasn't around her neck?

No, the head wasn't out yet. I did wonder whether it was anything to do with trying to ease the passage, but don't you stretch backwards IYSWIM?

She was possibly checking to feel the presentation of the babies head, which way the head was facing, or to see if she suspected a hand was up by the babies head. Either way it makes a difference to how you manage the delivery.

Hi I am a midwife and from what you describe I think she was just "fiddling", unfortunatly some mws are fiddlers and cant seem to cope with letting a woman birth her own baby. I guess she was trying to see har far you pushed yor baby after a contraction.

But she also delivered my previous child, and I don't recall her doing anything of the sort that time, though he was born with the cord around his neck.

Perhaps there's some connection with the fact that the first time I was delivering reclined backwards, and the second time lying on my left side?

Shouldn't make any difference, I wonder if it was because she could see your baby's head advancing the first time, if you were on your back with your legs open, however if you are on your side you tend not to see much till the baby's head is almost crowning.

So, given that on-my-side is my prefered position, if it happens again I can tell her to stop? As in, it's not actually necessary?

Absolutley! Anyone who had there hands/fingers anywhere near my vagina without asking, especially if I was in second stage, would be told exactlly where to go! If you want to be more tactful than me I would just tell her she is hurting you and ask why she is doing it, no one should touch you at all without asking permission. She may be a fantastic midwife but just a bit unconfident in the natural process of birth and needs the reassurance that "things are progressing", it can take a lot of patience to learn to sit on your hands and not interfear due to the medicalised way that childbirth is now viewed. Remember it's your body and if you don't want to be touched just tell the person straight how uncomfortable their actions are making you.

Thanks!

This lady was actually brilliant for me, and not inexperienced either (she was the senior midwifery sister, if I recall her title correctly). What I asked about was the only point at which I ever felt uncomfortable with her care, and, quite frankly, I'm grateful that she was available to look after and guide me at both births. Were it possible I would not hesitate to ask for her again.