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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

changing your birth plan

29 replies

EllieorOllie · 15/09/2006 13:54

hi, this is my first post on mumsnet, you all seem lovely and supportive!
i am currently in early labour, and have been contracting strongly since monday. in the early hours of this morning dh and i went to the hospital as i wasn't coping at all with the pain and the contractions were coming every two minutes. of course i was only dilated 2 cms and was told to go home (having called the midwife a sadist - oops!!).
howevever, they said they would have been willing to admit me and put me on pethidine had it not been for my birth plan, which emphasises my desire for a natural birth. i tried to explain that the shock of the incredibly painful contractions had made me rethink my ideas but they seemed to think i was hysterical.
back in the cold light of day i still wish to change my birth plan and have decided that i would like an epidural once i am in established labour. i really want to enjoy the birth of my child and i don't want it marred by memories of intense unbearable pain. how do i get the midwives to believe me about this? i get the impression they just think i'm being a total weed... any suggestions on how to convince them that i'm still in my rational mind?

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Sophiev73 · 15/09/2006 13:56

What on earth is going on here?? You can have whatever you want that is not on your birth plan - can't believe you're being made to stick to it, mine went out of the window the moment I arrived in hospital! Surely it's a basic right?

Sophiev73 · 15/09/2006 13:57

Sorry that's not helpful but I really don't think you have to 'change their minds' - it's how you feel right there and then? Do you have a birth partner with you?

Toady · 15/09/2006 14:00

Grrrr, your birth plan is not set in stone for goodness sake. Tbh I am surprised because usually it is opposite, the birth plan is usually ignored.

Saying that if you can stay at home as long as you can, warm baths, tes machine, paracetamol, massage, glass of wine . If not go to hospital and demand that you have some pain killers, dont ask tell them it is your right.

Just out of interest are you getting back pains or is it across your tummy.

belgo · 15/09/2006 14:00

Get a piece of paper. Right 'birth plan' on top. Under that write 'want epidural'. Give it to them when you go into hospital. Good luck.

Toady · 15/09/2006 14:00

"tens" machine

adath · 15/09/2006 14:02

I can kind of understand that the midwife was reluctant to go against your birth plan but still it is your birth experience and it is up to you.
If you go for an epidural now would you be dissapointed that you had.
If you are contracting strongly you may progress and not even really be aware of it so by the time it comes to it you may not need an epidural.

All I can suggest is that you calmly ( she would not have been convinced of sound mind after calling her a sadist lol) exxplain that although you have made your birthplan it is as she is well aware not set in stone and now labour has started you feel that to enjoy your birth experience you would like to review your pain relief options as and when you need to.
I personally would review your options at every stage, even actually put on paper a new plan. Like I said as you are already contracting strongly you may not feel any worse.

When I was having my first my contractions never actually got and stronger and I was in such a panic about what they were going to feel like by the time I was in established labour but by the time I felt that they were getting worse I was nearly there, if you are coping with them just now as sore as they are maybe try and hold off and just go for your options as they come rather than go in say I want an epidural and labour progresses wuite fast and you spend months thinking what if?

Original poster

EllieorOllie · 15/09/2006 14:02

yes, dh, but he's not very assertive, even when i'm crouched on a delivery room floor bawling my eyes out...
i too thought i had a right to choose my own pain relief, but the midwife team are just being totally obstructive. they say as i'm young and healthy i should be giving birth naturally rather than using strong painkillers. paracetamol should be fine apparently (oh how i laughed...)!!!

OP posts:

lemonaid · 15/09/2006 14:02

There's a fine line for midwives (and DHs) to tread between supporting you in your original carefully-made choices when you start to have doubts and preventing you from changing your mind.

I suggest you type up and print out a new birth plan (or dictate to your DH between contractions ) and take that with you when you go back in. Make it look as professional and well-thought-out as possible and they'll know it's not just a whim.

Oh, and congratulations!

morningpaper · 15/09/2006 14:02

yes I agree with Belgo

Get a small whiteboard

Write birth plan on the top

get a drywipe market

change birth plan regularly

I'm amazed they even read it

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 14:02

tell them to stick their birth plan up their arse

you are not being a weed

good luck with your labour xx

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 14:03

my first birth plan is still a great source of amusement to dh and i

morningpaper · 15/09/2006 14:04

how are you feeling now?

The staff will have changed shift by now - go on in if you would feel more comfortable there

I drank four beers in early labour which helped

Have you had something to eat?

Toady · 15/09/2006 14:04

nailpolish - tell them to stick their birth plan up their arse

Original poster

EllieorOllie · 15/09/2006 14:09

sorry, i'm a bit slow, keep getting distracted by contractions! am trying all the conventional pain relief routes, still crazy crazy pain but i feel marginally more in control of it. glass of wine sounds like a good idea ;)

i'm planning to stay at home for a while longer now that i'm back and settled again so i shall re-write my birth plan, professionally. hope that the thought about the pain not actually getting much worse is true though!

oh, and i called her a sadist afterwards, not before!!! but i do see your point

OP posts:

morningpaper · 15/09/2006 14:11

Have you had a walk around the block? I assume your DH is with you. It's a nice day - have a walk, 20 minutes or so. Personally I would have a glass of wine first. Have something to eat while you can. You need to keep your strength up. You are going to get very tired.

belgo · 15/09/2006 14:11

Good luck, it sounds like you're doing great

Sophiev73 · 15/09/2006 14:11

Can I suggest a total lack of birth plan?

morningpaper · 15/09/2006 14:12

Yes I really wouldn't worry about the birth plan

Just say THERE IS NO PLAN

I didn't fill mine in

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 14:13

here here sophie

birth plans are not necessary

i didnt have one for my 2nd baby, complete waste of time and effort with the 1st

staying calm is important, do what MP says and have a glass of wine and a walk, something to eat

Sophiev73 · 15/09/2006 14:16

Remember you're having a baby not an interview with the bank - they should know all plans go out of the window - celebrate it, get excited, get pissed - whatever helps and in no time at all, shazam! A Mum is born!

lemonaid · 15/09/2006 14:17

I would agree no plan necessary, but if EorO already has one on file and they are reluctant to deviate from it (which I'm guessing is the case given they mentioned it) a new one may save a lot of arguing.

Original poster

EllieorOllie · 15/09/2006 14:19

too much pain to go for walks sadly, did lots of that earlier in the week. am just about to have some soup and toast and get in the bath again! the tiredness is already here, no sleep for three nights now, oh well. gets me ready for baby i suppose! thank you for all your comments, i'll be back after the bath

OP posts:

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 14:20

how often are the contractions? do you think you may get a sleep after your bath? take some paracetamol? im glad you are having something to eat

mears · 15/09/2006 14:24

EllieorOllie - please, please do not think that you need to rewrite your birthplan and throw 'natural childbirth' out the window at this stage!!

As a midwife I too would habe talked you out of opting for pethidine at this early stage because it would make you feel sick, knock your contractions on the head and prolong your labour. You may think that an epidural is the perfect choice as it will take away the pain. Yes it might (often leaves feeling of pressure or works better down one side), but it will restrict your movement, slow your labour and itis highly likely that you will not be able to feel properly to push and end up needing an assisted delievry by ventouse or forceps.

Now I am not saying this to frighten you but to help you understand where the midwives are coming from you spoke to.

Being 2cm is really good but my goodness it can be sore getting there. It is so much better for you to be at home in your own surroundings. Paracetamol in association with a warm bath can do wonders. Do you have a birthing ball at home you can sit on? That can help the pain. Rocking your pelvis can also be really good. Do you have a TENS machine? If so, get it on.
Can you use a pool for labour at your unit? I know many women who have had terrific pain relief in the pool and wonderful waterbirths.

As you contract your body produces endorphins which are natural painkillers which also helps you cope.

I have seen women transormed when they realise they are progressing well in labour - you are not feeling that you are going to cope because you have been told you are 'only 2cm'.

You have the right to change your birthplan - ofcourse you do- but please do not jump to requesting an epidural. Try the things I have suggested and when you do feel that you need to go to the hospital, please try the pool (if there is one). If you feel it doesn't help you can go up the pain ladder. Try an injection first before epidural.
You may totally surprise yourself and find that once you are told you are in established labour that you get an surge of being able to cope.

Have confidence in yourself - what you are feeling just now is really common and normal.

morningpaper · 15/09/2006 14:37

Yes a birthing ball is great

It depends on you and your hospital but my second labour was quite slow before I got into hospital - personally I was MORE relaxed in the hospital and with a birthing ball and pool things progressed quickly.

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