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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Feel like I'm being bullied into having c-section... help!

90 replies

nowanearlyNicemum · 14/09/2006 14:06

I'm sure this is a subject that has been done to death but I really could do with some advice.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my obstetrician seems determined for me to have a second c-section despite me being very clear from day 1 that I want to try for VBAC. Feel like I'm constantly struggling against the incredibly medicalised french health system.
dd was born by emergency c-section 2 years ago due to stagnation - a 2-day labour following induction (aaaargh) and I only got to 4cm.
This time round, I feel totally different. Have been having LOADS of contractions, and some quite painful ones. Yesterday I had a show and when I saw obstetrician this morning she said that my cervix was short (not sure if that's the correct english terminology ) so that's got to be a good sign. But the baby is still very high up (although head down). However, she thinks that the baby will be bigger than dd and is sending me for a pelvic scan to see whether planned c-section would be the best route.
I'm having the scan on Tuesday and then she'll make 'her' decision. I'm desperate for some hard facts to back up how I feel. Why does it feel like everyone else is making the decisions about how I have MY baby?
I'm not stupid. I'm quite prepared to accept that if there is a danger for my baby I'll have to have a 2nd c-section. It's just that I've not felt 'listened to' from the word go and that she was just stringing me along, waiting for the day when she'd say - 'Right, well we'll book you in for your section then'.
Would appreciate your experience, opinions etc...

OP posts:

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lulumama · 14/09/2006 18:04

you are so welcome - try and get a copy of Ina May Gaskin;s Spiritual midwifery - some amazing stories of childbirth that are awe inspiring - it's a slightly dated book, but the message still stands- women can labour well if left to listen to their bodies- by giving birth rather than having the baby delivered - if you see what i mean. Obstetricians usually see the bad , so tend to lean towards the worst outcome xx

Toady · 14/09/2006 20:56

nowanearlyNicemum

Feeling really after reading this thread.

Right!! this is what I would do.

Refuse to see the consultant.
Write to the HOM and TELL her you request midwife care only.
Demand that you only want to see pro VBAC midwifes who believe you can give birth to your baby how you want to.
Write out a clear birth plan on what you want for the birth of your baby.

You do not have to persuade the consultant about anything, you can TELL him what you want or as I would do just refuse to see him.

Please speak to Gina or Debbie on the caeserean website. They are brilliant and really helped me.

Also join this forum . There are loads of brilliant mums, midwives, doulas on there who have experience and advice.

buktus · 14/09/2006 21:04

my ds1 was born in exact same circumstances as you i only got to 4cm after 36 hours so hence c section, my second boy they knew was going to bigger than my first and i couldnt deliver him so they booked me in for a csection in the op i ruptured, long story but this made baby number 3 have to be delivered by section as i could easily rupture if my womb started to contract, they were all born safely so why should i moan, but i do regret not trying to deliver secong boy naturally as this might not have given me all of these complications for my third baby

Toady · 14/09/2006 21:25

"i could easily rupture if my womb started to contract"

Why!

buktus · 14/09/2006 21:33

with ds2 i had a low lying placenta which was undetected this ruptured whilst in the operating room i lost 5 pints of blood and ended up in intensive care, when i was pregnant with dd now 8 months old they found the same problem she was delivered 4 weeks early due to the position of the placenta and adhesions around my womb she was delivered by c section at which point the surgeaons had no choice but to leave me sterile as future pregnancys would be very risky

lulumama · 14/09/2006 21:33

i believe that the risk of rupture is 0.5 - 1% and the risk of a cord prolapse is the same if not a little higher but no-one is stopped from attempting vaginal birth due to the risk of a prolapsed cord which can also be catastrophic!The risk of rupturture is real and not to be ignored, but good monitoring in labour can usually detect a rupture before it becomes a catastrophic event. that is why continous monitoring is advised i believe.

buktus · 14/09/2006 21:36

try being led in intensive care with your dh sobbing because he think you may die, a chaplin reading the lords prayer the other side i am not saying anymore, this comes back to haunt me enough times

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 21:37

It sounds like buktus may have been at special risk for rupture?

lulumama · 14/09/2006 21:40

buktus - sounds terrible, you must have found it very traumatic, and your husband too x it must have been a great releif to have a healthy baby at the end of such an ordeal

buktus · 14/09/2006 21:45

yes but these things dont happen often, i didnt want to elaborate to worry whoever started the thread but had to answer the question - sorry - i would have liked 4 but it wasnt meant to be but the 3 i do have are very healthy and happy im 25 so i feel a bit robbed but thats life hey, i was just meant to have three babies. I think if you have a lot of trust and confidence in your consultant it helps with decisions much easier

Toady · 14/09/2006 22:17

Sounds terrible for you. Have you had any one to talk to about it?

Original poster

nowanearlyNicemum · 15/09/2006 10:23

thanks so much for sharing your experiences - especially ones which must be as traumatic to relive as buktus'.

toady, I feel very very myself at the moment, which isn't helping me think straight. I appreciate your advice, it's just that I'm in France and things don't seem to work the same way over here. Despite having fantastic medical facilities they are light-years behind the UK in their way of thinking. Midwives really do have such a secondary role here which is such a shame as the ones I have come across during my 2 pregnancies have generally been very supportive. As far as I see it I can't refuse to see the obstetrician. I have written a birth plan but they don't seem to 'do' those over here either. What's a HOM? I will try and speak to Gina or Debbie on the c-section website. I spent yesterday afternoon reading it (all I think!) and it's very inspiring. Thank heavens for people like them. And for Mumsnet

OP posts:

morocco · 15/09/2006 10:42

hi there
I had my two in morocco and they have French trained obs/gyn there so I have some idea what you mean although I'm sure the system is somewhat different as well. ds1 was c section after failed induction at 37 weeks for pre eclampsia and I can't really complain about the outcome, it had to be done.
for ds2 I was determined to try for vbac, obs was supportive until near the end when for no reason (other than the money? or the ease of delivery for her? or it just being her preferred method of delivery?) she started being negative about it, the 2 births were close together, I needed a scan to check for pelvic disproportion etc (I did this and all was fine, it boosted my confidence although you will read that it's not very reliable or recommended in the uk anymore). I realised that if I turned up to hospital with her as my obs, it would probably end up as a c section.
So at 38 weeks I changed doctors, then when labour started, I stayed at home as long as pos (much longer than I had been recommended to by both doctors) then laboured at hospital for the last hour or so and had a very easy overall vbac with my new obs.
I don't know if you can change doctors like that, you said you can't refuse to see the obs but there must be others working at the same hospital? It's really important to try and stay as positive and empowered as possible and I realise circumstances might make that hard but keep on thinking positively. If you turn up at the hospital well into established labour and everything is going well, then it would be quite perverse for the doctor to insist on a c section. Even at that point, you can say no! (again, having been through the system with my son this time in France, I appreciate this is not as easy as it sounds but it can be done, it's just that they are not so used to it being done)
Sorry this is turning into an essay! I remember going through all this with ds2. The way I saw it, if I stayed at home as long as pos and all was progressing Ok, then I had done as much as I could. If labour didn't progress, then so be it, I wasn't going to take unnecessary risks either. My new obs was also much more positive, for example, she didn't bother with continous fetal monitoring, just intermittant.
hth and good luck. Either way, you will have a lovely new baby to sniggle

morocco · 15/09/2006 10:43

snuggle! not sniggle. sounds a bit odd!

Original poster

nowanearlyNicemum · 15/09/2006 11:29

that's what I thought I'd do, morocco.
I'm only 10 to 15 minutes drive from the hospital so feel quite comfortable with the idea of waiting as long as possible before going in. I know there's no way of avoiding c-section completely... I just need to feel I've done everything I can.

OP posts:

Kidstrack · 15/09/2006 11:40

i had a vbac after an emegency c/s, i had my ds 7yrs ago and after labouring 24hrs i had to have c/s, however 4yrs later i had a lovely vbac, like you i had a scan at 38weeks and was allowed a trial of labour, i was told if after 14hrs and the baby was distressed i would need to have the c/s, i went to hosp as soon as i went into labour to have my c/s scar checked and was preped for theartre just incase, but everything went to plan! Good luck with your birth!

naughtymummy · 15/09/2006 12:19

good luck with your VBAC. I think having been induced before and got to 4cm you stand a v. good chance. I believe your odds for a` sucessful delivery would be around 80/20 with a supportive team. In the hospital where i work women are encourage to try for a VBAC and have to beg for a second c=section- I think this is becoming more comon in the UK. Anyway good luck with your cons

Toady · 15/09/2006 12:27

HOM - head of midwifery

Toady · 15/09/2006 12:36

I also stayed at home as long as I could when I had my VBAC2, I kidded myself (and DH) that I was not in labour . When I started mooing like a cow and my waters exploded DH said "right thats it I'm calling the hospital"

mears · 15/09/2006 12:42

this site may be helpfull for you.

There is also information for the public which is shorter. It may be helpful to discuss the info you have read with your consultant. In UK we would not do pelvic scan to assess suitability for VBAC.

Have to go just now though

clairemow · 15/09/2006 13:14

nowanearly, I haven't read all the posts so sorry if I repeat what others have said..

I had a successful VBAC delivery 2 weeks ago after a previous section for a breech baby. My consultant was v. supportive of this decision, and said that I would need to be aware that if there were any complications, like I was taking a v. long time to dilate and they were worried about rupture of the scar from last time, I would need to have a second c-section. This sounded very reasonable to me, as I was v. scared of a long, terrible labour followed by emergency section.

Can you talk to a consultant at the hospital rather than a midwife about your options, and for example, how long they would let you try to labour naturally for?

Good luck.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 15/09/2006 14:26

please have a look at the VBAC forum on Baby centre website. the women on there are amazing and encouraging and have made me more determined than ever.

Gives you so much info too that leaves your consultant dumbfounded 9as mine was yesterday). i now feel so empowered and encourage anyone thinking of it to have a quick look.

DarrellRivers · 15/09/2006 14:28

I had a c-section for breech first time and had successful VBac 19 months later for DS. I am small hipped/framed but figured that if my mum (simialr frame)could deliver vaginally so could i.

I was due a scan at 39/40 to check size of baby(and decide mode of delivery, I wanted a vbac and most had been supportive) but luckily went into labour spontaneously the night before. I laboured as long as poss at home so was well established when went into hospital and 6cm, and then had epidural.
Always though would be quietly confident about vaginal birth but knew if any signs of trouble would opt for em csection ie failure to progress/severe pain .Good Luck,

Lulu68 · 15/09/2006 14:33

Hi Just a quick note to say that I birthed (naturally after 2 sections) a 4.9kg baby with only two stitches, no constant monitoring and every confidence that my body could do it.

Be positive and good luck

Original poster

nowanearlyNicemum · 15/09/2006 14:55

so encouraging to hear all these success stories!
Toady, will tell dp to look out for the mooing!!

Mears, why would a pelvic scan not be done for VBAC in the UK? Because it's not reliable or because it's not relevant?

clairemow, it's the consultant i have a problem with - I think that the midwives would be more supportive but the system isn't the same as in the UK.

will have a look at that website too MSTG - thanks

OP posts:

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