I completely understand your position. Both my DCs have been born on labour ward due to BP issues. I would have liked an MLU birth. I was exactly the same as you. Straightforward pregnancy until the end when BP climbed.
BP issues are serious so I think you need to focus on preparing yourself for the labour ward. If you select a home birth (I wanted to do this first time) and you have high BP readings you will be blue lighted to hospital. DH and I decided the risk of this happening to me was too high to make an attempt at a home birth worthwhile.
My first birth was hard but that was because I had high BP and my DD passed merconion. The medical staff were lovely and I was encouraged to be active despite CFM, a drip and cuff and supported to the point where I only needed G&A.
My second birth was amazing. I was so upset I was going to labour ward again and needed CFM, a drip and cuff but it turned out to be the best experience of my life. Nice room, just me and one lovely midwife. 50 minute labour, a few mouthfuls of gas and two pushes and I scooped him up myself.
The midwife knew I was upset not to be in MLU and was so kind to do all she could to make it positive. When DS was born she ended up hugging DH and I as she said she was so happy that we were happy with how the birth had gone.
That said I still needed medication to control my BP after giving birth. I was also transferred to the care of a consultant for both births even though I didn't see him at all second time round.
As I say I do get why you feel the way you feel. I read something that described it as normal to mourn the loss of birth you had planned. This summed up how I felt.
If I have a third I'm going to book for labour ward. I had a good experience and I couldn't face the feelings of disappointment a third time.