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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

wwyd traumatic first birth

14 replies

nearlyreadytopop · 24/06/2014 19:30

This has the potential to be a long one so thank you in advance. I don't know if I'm seeing things clearly so any advice would be appreciated.
Ds's birth was pretty horrible. I was having growth scans and was predicted to have a greater than 10lb baby. I was terrified and could see no way of getting such a huge baby out. I was induced at 41+3. Labour was around 12 hours in total and I had remefentanil for pain relief. When it came to the pushing stage ds showed signs of distress. The room filled with people, even though I was pretty out of it I panicked and decided I was getting out of there. I remember being shouted at by the midwife. I did try extremely hard to push ds out but I needed an episiotomy and forceps delivery. ds had low apgar scores (5@1 and 5@5). He was rushed to scbu. I didn't get to touch him but he was flashed in front of me briefly.
I was stitched up and then we were left for over an hour. I thought he was dead. I was coming down of the pain relief and it was the very worst hour of my life. A doctor came back to tell us he ds was breathing but they needed to run tests. I couldn't walk so was wheeled up to see him in the incubator before being brought back to the ward.
The next morning a doctor told me he had suspected brain damage due to oxygen starvation. They ran tests and everything came back clear. On discharge they said his problems were due to a traumatic birth. He was 9lb 6oz. he's a perfectly normal 3 yr old now. My scar didn't heal properly and I was in pain for months. After 6 months I had steroids injected under a general anaesthetic. This helped a lot. My pelvic floor isn't great and will likely need some work in the future.
I'm now 30 weeks pregnant again after 3mc. We had already decided this was our last attempt at another child.

Ds birth and the mc really effected me quite badly, I became very anxious and depressed. I found cbt to have been a great help with this.

I had hoped for a natural delivery this time but a recent growth scan and the predicted huge baby has completely thrown me. I have a meeting with the consultant this week and I don't know if I should be asking for a c section or not.

Everything I read has it as major surgery and talks about breathing issues with the baby. To me it seems a safer and more controlled option than a vb. I feel we got lucky with ds but no one can tell me what the chances of it happening again.

I know the recovery of cs varies but could it be any worse than my previous vb recovery.

OP posts:
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McBear · 24/06/2014 20:34

I'm so sorry for your experience Thanks

I too had a traumatic labour followed by a very emergency c section. I swore at that moment I'd never try for natural birth again.

It is major surgery and can be quite painful but if you will recover far quicker than you'd expect. I only had paracetamol and ibuprofen as pain relief (and two shots of liquid morphine the next day just in case but I would have been fine without)

I don't think breathing issues are a worry as presumably you'd be 38 weeks and they'd give steroid injections if in doubt.

They say all c section babies are a bit mucousy but it was never a problem.

I honestly would recommend it. They're very calm, even in all the chaos of my 'crash team/code red' section.

HeyBungalowBill · 24/06/2014 20:50

I was left too long before induction with my DS as all the wards were jam packed meaning his heart rate dropped rapidly and I had a cat 1 c section.
I just want to echo what a pp said and that even though my c section was a crash c section it was incredibly calm and a wonderful birth experience for me.

I was adamant I wanted a natural water birth and was terrified of a c section. Then as soon as they'd taken me in for surgery I was peaceful and I truly loved my birth experience

Borttagen · 24/06/2014 20:54

I had an ELCS for DC2 after a traumatic birth with DC1 and it was a lovely, calm experience and recovery was much easier. I was really unsure what to do but my anxiety over a repeat experience meant I went with the ELCS and definitely don't regret it.

Toptack · 24/06/2014 21:00

Sorry to hear about your experience.

I also had a fairly awful first labour and DC1 ended up in intensive care for a week immediately after birth. I was terrified about experiencing labour again, but didn't much fancy a C section either. I did have some private hypnotherapy sessions which really helped me to prepare mentally for the birth (despite me being a bit of a sceptic), and could be useful whichever path you choose. If you are in the Hampshire area I can recommend a good practitioner. In the end, the birth of DC2 was quick and uneventful, despite a head circumference on the 99th percentile!

clabsyqueen · 24/06/2014 21:24

Oh gosh. That's so stressful. Poor you :-(
For my first I had an emergency c section (only emergency because blood flow was bad and not because I was in distress or in labour) and then a 'natural' birth like the one you describe. I was adamant I would not have a second c section as I was so scared of the theatre and knives etc. but on reflection and knowing what I know now I think I would have opted for another c section. Very calm and controlled. I think it sounds like your best option and that's from an anti- section lady!

nearlyreadytopop · 24/06/2014 21:36

Thanks for all your replies. It helps to hear positive second birth stories. I thought I was much more 'over' it until recently. I'm hoping that if I explain to the consultant they will understand why I'm too afraid to try for a vb. For those that opted for cesarean second time round did you find the consultant open to the idea? We have had a lot of press here about cs rates rising and a need to lower them. I honestly don't know how I will handle it he doesn't agree.

OP posts:
McBear · 24/06/2014 21:40

Not really relevant but if I have any doubts about the consultant denying me a c section, I will be doing my best panicked performance to get one. In all honesty, it will be real. The mere thought of having natural makes me want to cry. I ain't too proud to beg...

McBear · 24/06/2014 21:41

Ps my friend wanted a c section after traumatic first. She simply asked and received. This was Northampton.

Calmbirthbecky · 25/06/2014 16:40

Oh honey! Sounds so tough. My first daughter was a very traumatic birth too. I had a horrendous time.

Second time round, I discovered GentleBirth and had an amazing, empowering VBAC birth this time. I didn't have a stitch or a graze. I can honestly say I enjoyed my second daughters birth. Yes it was hard work but I was so informed and empowered and fearless, I was calm, confident and in control every step of the way.

CBT is wonderful. I used it myself to cope with PTSD.

GentleBirth combines Hynobirthing, CBT, Antenatal Education, Empowering supportive Dads and an online support network 24/7.

If you'd like some info on GentleBirth please pm me. I'd love to help.

cravingcake · 25/06/2014 21:53

I had traumatic experience with my DS resulting in forceps, episiotomy, 4th degree tear and shoulder dystocia. It was a long recovery mentally & physically (still ongoing).

Even though i already had it in writing recommending elcs for DC2 before becoming pregnant i was still nervous about requesting/stating elcs as delivery mode.

I would say ask for it, the worst thing is they say no. Write down your main points so you dont forget them during the appointment. You have a very valid case for elcs so should be able to get it agreed. You could always specify that you will try for a vaginal birth but wont be induced (as an example) if they wont agree to an outright elcs. Also if you do get an elcs agreed you can always change your mind.

ShineSmile · 26/06/2014 12:09

In your situation I would ask for a c- section. However it is really up to you. Show this post or similar to the consultant and they should let you have it. All the best Smile

nearlyreadytopop · 26/06/2014 19:43

Just to follow up I had a really positive appointment today. The doctor said its not up to her to make the decision at this stage but to advise me of the risks and benefits of both ways of delivery. That I would be supported in what ever decision I made. I did find out that the mlu is not an option due to baby size and the increased risk of the shoulders getting stuck. So no decisions until 36 weeks and I feel happy with that. I'm going to have some more cbt in the meantime amd hopefully feel more settled about whatever decision we make.
Baby continues to follow the 91st centile and looks healthy. I'm going to be seen in three weeks for another growth check up and then possibly another gtt.
I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to postSmile

OP posts:
HeyBungalowBill · 26/06/2014 20:53

I'm really pleased that things have worked out OP! Smile
I bet you feel a lot happier now you know you have the support to make the decision for yourself

McBear · 26/06/2014 21:58

Sounds positive Grin great news

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