Homebirth with no birthing partner

[gotagoldtoof]

I separated from my husband a few weeks ago. Have been planning a second home birth from day one and am now 38 weeks. I don't want husband there, and feel strong enough to do it alone. The community midwives have agreed they will send out a second mw earlier than the pushing stage if needed to support me.

I wanted to know if anyone has chosen to birth alone? If so, how did it go?

I prepared hypnobirthing with my husband, and feel a bit sad about not being able to use the techniques we had practiced together, has anyone used hypnobirthing alone?

You're a strong and brave woman. You'll do a brilliant job and be really proud of yourself. The midwives will support you, they'll be friends for life after being a part of your special labour.

You are strong enough to do it alone.

I have seen posts from other people who have given birth alone, hopefully they will spot this & be along soon. But of course, you won't be alone, you will have the midwives there & they will know just how to support you through it.

Just on a practical note, do you have a plan in place for care for your DC1?

I am a bit tearful trump, thank you - I don't feel that strong at the moment and am so sad about my relationship but need to get my baby here safely and happily even if I'm alone. Thank you again.

My dad has agreed to look after the older children, which they will be really excited about, his home is like their second home, so I feel confident and happy with the plan fortunately.

My mum has offered her support, but was quite critical after my first birth and let me know she felt I made a fuss, and was surprised I 'found it so difficult'... When she came into the room, my contractions would slow down! I find her hugely supportive in life, but rather competitive so will avoid her being there.

I have also thought through friends, but don't want to be considering their feelings, and worrying about them being comfortable in my home. I think, and hope that this is the right decision.

I had 2 home births and each time it was just me and the midwife. It was some years ago and the idea of birthing partners was unheard of. I didn't feel the need for anyone else to be there.

I didn't have a birthing partner when giving birth to DD3. Just midwives and my older DDs were there. Midwives were lovely, it was fine.

Actually I preferred it to DD2's birth when my sister was my birthing partner and my XH was there too. DD1 was also there , which was the only reason I let my XH into the bedroom.

Have you considered a doula?

I am in awe of you, and I generally believe in following our gut reactions so am sure that you are strong enough to do it alone if you can picture yourself doing it. And sounds like you're definitely making right decision by not saying yes to people who would be (even unintentionally) unhelpful.

I did a hypnobirthing course with my husband too but then just due to timing/being rubbish at prioritising it etc never actually practised with him, just on my own. It wasn't the 'perfect' hypnobirthing birth, ended up with bit more pain relief than I'd imagined having cos baby in awkward position but I could still use some of the techniques and visualisations and I did just do it myself, although husband was in room and offering. You might find you get into your own zone and don't need anyone prompting etc.

If you feel you can do it, then you can do it.

I did a significant part of my labour (in a hospital) with just a midwife and I actually preferred it to having DP there!

Your older DC are looked after in case you do need to go to hospital, so that's everything important taken care of, surely?

You've been through a lot and I'm sure that giving birth on your own at home will be a lot nicer than giving birth in a hospital alone.