Am I being unreasonable?

[mollysmum2012]

I am 36 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. my wee girl is 2. I am at home alone with her as OH works away and is not due home for another 2-3 weeks. I know there is a chance he will not be home for this one being born so have lined up my mum to be emergency birth partner. She sprang it on me last night that she is going on holiday in 2 weeks and said she would take my wee girl so I can get a rest. I am panicking now as if i go into labour early, I will literally be having this baby on my own which is terrifying. my instinct tells me this is not entirely unlikely as I am already having lots of back pain and Braxton hicks etc. Also first baby was born bang on due date. i keep thinking of worse case scenarios like having a speedy labour at home alone!! really want to ask her not to go but I know this will not go down well with either of my parents. My dad has already been making noises about how mum did everything herself when she was pregnant on the few occasions I have asked for a little help as I am trying to get everything organised, keep house clean etc on my own with a 2 year old and dog in tow. anyone else had a similar experience or have any advice on how I can breech this without causing too much upset? thanks

Not unreasonable at all! I can't really help as I'd just assume my DM would offer to be there - as she has done. Do finances allow you to hire a doula? Without directly asking your DM, it might be a way into a conversation about how you do really need a birth partner, and a huge help if your DM doesn't come round.

Good luck with everything - and do try to ignore the whole "oh, I gave birth at 9 in the morning and by 5pm I had the parish priest and half the neighbourhood around for a three-course meal - and all by myself" routine - we've all heard it :)

Is there any way for your OH to approach his employer and say he has to be Home in 2 weeks?

Does your mum have siblings who can tell you the real story of how things were foe her so you can drop in - oh but didn't aunt Sheila come round to help - when the dramatic memories of how she did it all alone start.

A doula would be good if you can stretch to one. Or at least an understanding taxi firm or neighbour you can call last min to at least get you to hospital.

Who would have had your dd if you did go into labour and your mum was witg you? Are you close enough to that person to have them in the labour room with you?

What about a home birth? I know you still wont have a family member there but at least it will be very one to one with a MW and a lot more personal than a hospital birth - and as she will clearly be the only support there for you may be a lot more supportive than if you had a designated birthing partner?

Can't afford a doula. Home birth not an option as I had a previous shoulder dystocia. my dad did go in with my mum when she was in labour but she said he was useless, telling her to keep the noise down!! I was meaning he said she coped fine with pregnancy and had no help despite having a 2 year old around. This is not strictly true, she ended up being induced as a result of stress / bp up / terrible back pain which she herself says was because she got no help from my very old fashioned father! I was planning to leave wee one with my mother in law. she is lovely and great with her but we are not close in that sense and I would feel very uncomfortable with her around when I was in labour. I have very nice neighbours who will definitely do what they can to help me but it's the childbirth thing which is really frightening me, especially since my experience was pretty grim the last time. I really don't want to do it alone. because of issues previously I have been booked for a c/section at 39+ weeks and other half has arranged to be home for this date. They will try to get him home if things happen before that but it can take up to 3 days so I can't depend on that at all