A (possibly stupid) question about tearing I almost don't want to ask

[squishy]

I've heard and read about a lot of people talking about 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th degree tearing and wonder if anyone could tell me what the differences are? Is it "just" extent of tearing? Sorry, horrible question, just feel very ignorant.

I didn't tear with any of my 3, all between 9lb 4oz and 10lbs (and I like to think my fanny's not like a bucket - I can still use tampons just fine IYSWIM). I had a natural birth with the last two and an epidural, semi-upright one first time round.

pmsl. yes I would like to add that my fanny doesn't resemble a bucket, before or after the births! Don't stress too much about it, you will just get yourself worked up.

I had a 4th degree tear 14 weeks ago. During labour I had an epidural and did not feel it when they performed an episiotomy. After the birth I could slightly feel them trying to stitch me up (but you are still allowed gas and air), but they noticed that it was slightly more severe than they initially thought. I was then transfered to theatre after being given a spinal block. The next morning I just felt slightly bruised, but it has never been sore. I think it is less sore as they take much more time over stitching you up properly. I would like to point out that I do not have to wear a colostomy bag, however I am having to work very hard at my pelvic floor excercises.

OK, thanks, as you all say, am sure after pushing baby out, tearing will be the last thing on my mind!

don't worry about all that, they'll patch you up after and you won't notice any difference (unless or course you know your bits inside out and want to compare but you'll be too busy too go to the loo when baby comes!!).

Every birth is completely different, don't read too many horror stories before, it could stress you out and make you too tense for the big day! Hope it all goes tear-free for you! big hugsx

Squishy - I tore with DS and needed a few stitches (not sure what degree as they never said but was nearly to back passage ) - afterwards on the ward they offered me a microwave thingy (don't know name), it's a treatment that's supposed to encourage blood flow and therefore healing - definitely would recommend it if you do tear. But MOST importantly if you don (and probably if you don't) take it easy after the birth - I dodn't and paid for it with lots of soreness, just wish I'd been more vocal with DH about what I did/didn't feel up to doing (we went out in town to get a crib - stupid stupid stupid!).

I ended up with a 3rd degree tear, and long-term pain, but the long term thing is really rare. Most people recover really well and quickly. I wish I had known that before, as I really had to be pushy to get some support. My best advice is not to worry about it, though if you do have any hassles follow it up - make sure you do see someone if you feel you need it.

I would suggest buying some arnica tablets and starting to take them at least a week before you think you might give birth (I know you can't tell exactly!!) Then carry on afterwards. They are brilliant for easing the general bruising you get down there. I had episiotomy (DD1 10 weeks old. 2 weeks late, epidural, ventouse...) and it all seems fine. But I have been fending off DH bedroom advances so far....!

LOL at fighting off bedroom advances!! I've ordered 30c and 200c arnica just for that!! Can't hurt at all to be prepared!!! Thanks!