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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

A (possibly stupid) question about tearing I almost don't want to ask

59 replies

squishy · 03/09/2006 11:34

I've heard and read about a lot of people talking about 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th degree tearing and wonder if anyone could tell me what the differences are? Is it "just" extent of tearing? Sorry, horrible question, just feel very ignorant.

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LaidbackinAsia · 04/09/2006 06:51

Hi squishy ...I had small tear with DS1(hospital) and 3rd degree tear with DS2 ( home birth 10lb 4 !)I didn't notice that I'd torn. TBH there is so much going on !! Was stitched both times and healed very well

Original poster

squishy · 04/09/2006 08:05

Some eye watering stories but thanks, it's good to know it isn't as bad when it happens, but the thought that is the worst . I hadn't thought about asking for/needing pain relief for stitching if I've made it that far without, but I will now!! Will also get rubbing with olive oil or similar!!!!

OP posts:

CDH · 04/09/2006 11:12

I had no idea myself. After my lovely homebirth in water the midwife (on call - not my midwife) told me I had a 2nd degree tear (did not feel tearing), which they did not sticth. I had no idea what this meant, so I asked the midwife who came the next day. She explained that it is classed as 2nd degree because of the lenght of the tear. They had not sticthed me becasue it was not very deep (no muscle torn) and it was not bleeding. As no stictches the tear did not hurt at all, but it did take 6 weeks to heal. My reccomedation is to have a couple of stitches put in (although a little uncomfortable for a bit) and heal in 10 days rather than 6 weeks - by the way that was my midwife's view as well.
I wouldn't worry - whatever happens happens, but I have heard that if you are not in water, get the midwife to support the perenium as the head comes out (discuss this beforehand).

JennyLee · 04/09/2006 11:52

Had my first and only ds at age 22 did not tear at all, only a graze they said, baby weighed 7.5 pounds MW told me I was on the only intact female on the ward though

dinosaur · 04/09/2006 11:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

micegg · 05/09/2006 10:04

I totally understabd your anxiety. When I was pregnant last year I would spend hours watching Discovery Health programmes about childbirth and terrorising myself about every eventuality. I worried about having to walk down the long corridor to get to the labout ward when my waters broke (would everyone stare at me), I worried about who would be looking after me, having internal examinations with my DH there (not excatly romantic), coping with the pain, pushing, pooing myself (I was obsessed with this one) and tearing. The list was endless. Its perfectly normal. We are normally in control (or so we think) of every aspect of our selves. Childbirth challenges all of that.

But on the day I found I went into a whole different world where I didnt care (not all down to the gas and air). I trapsed through the hospital at 3 in the morning with soaking trousers (waters broke at home) much to the amusment of the security guards and had a good experience. You do just deal with everything on the day. As far as the tearing goes, I had a 2nd degree tear. I have only just found out what that meant by looking at one of the replies here. The midwife stitched me up and I have had no problems since. By the time I got to that point I was so busy with my daughter I didnt care.

nuttymum1 · 05/09/2006 12:40

i had my ds 17 months ago and didnt tear you will be fine you will be too busy pushing to notice anything else and when he or she arrives you will be so wraped up in them nothing else matters good luck you will be fine

mymama · 05/09/2006 12:52

I tore with all 3 births. 1st was too late for episiotimy and I chose to tear with 2nd and 3rd. Think all 3 were 2nd degree tears. I found my tears healed quickly without incident.

blueshoes · 05/09/2006 13:48

Am so glad to hear that so many of you had tears which healed without incident. I had an em cs and never got to the pushing stage.

Squishy, can I add my ignorant question to this thread: when healing, esp for the 3rd and 4th degree tears, did it not hurt to poo?

sweetkitty · 05/09/2006 14:03

I had a second degree tear with DD1 (6lbs 3ozs) because she came out with her hand by her face, MWs were all gathered around me legs in stirrups wondering how to stitch me, I was like "whats it like down there" eventually they asked a doctor to do it and apparently it was a lovely job! I had a local then had loads of gas and air so felt nothing. It all healed up fine, loads of lovely lavender baths.

With DD2 I had a homebirth and was scared of tearing again, the MW knew this and guided the head out and made me wait as she saw the tear starting to go, I only had a slight graze with DD2 and she was 9lbs 3ozs.

Once you have the baby in your arms and the hormones kick it you won't care if you have a tear, best of luck x

CJinSussex · 06/09/2006 21:01

I had 2nd degree tears with my first two babies - both waterbirths and no you don't notice the tear happening. I didn't have stitches as my midwives prefer to avoid this. Both healed well - although the bruising with baby 1 was really uncomfortable. I did think that having a poo would tear it further but midwife assured me it wouldn't and advised me to hold a pad/warm flannel against the tear whilst pooing just for reassurance. DO NOT PUT OFF your 1st poo as a large, hard one makes matters worse!

It can sting when you wee over your tear so either go in the bath or shower or keep a jug by the loo and pour warm water over yourself whilst going - this is only for a day or two. And don't forget to work your pelvic floor - not only will it stop you becoming a Tena Lady but it gets blood to the muscles to speed up healing.

I didn't tear at all with 3rd baby. Hurrah!

Lua · 06/09/2006 21:27

Hi Squishy -
You've got lots of good info already, I just wanted to say to really listen to the midwife when she says: - easy now!

I had a tear with my first. she had the tiniest head, and the tear happened when her shoulders came through. I got stitched and it was a bit painful, but OK. That was in the US, and midwife was in axcited mood, of push, push, push!

With my second I had no tear, and it was great! Didn't even feel like I gave a birth the day before! and he had a huge head! But i remembered really well, to slow down once was crowned. Midwife coached me and his head kind of came out on his own and gently. World of difference!

Sorry if TMI! But wish I had payed attention the first time!

Don't worry you'll be fine one way or the other!

estobi1 · 06/09/2006 21:40

I had a 3rd degree tear - for me it wasn't that bad - I was so loved up with my baby nothing mattered. It healed really quickly wasn't sore and I don't think I have scarred badly (not that I spend much time with my head in between my legs looking at my backside!) Don't worry honestly. Just do your pelvic floor exercises! Good luck!

HopingCat · 07/09/2006 12:46

I'm really glad I've read this thread, as I'm expecting my first and the thought of tearing scared me.

Can anyone tell me whether it is better to tear rather than have an episiotomy, or is it best to go with whatever the midwife suggests at the time?

bluejelly · 07/09/2006 12:58

As far as i know it's better to have a small tear than an episiotomy, though better an episiotomy than a big tear.

CJinSussex · 07/09/2006 20:46

Hoping Cat, be guided by your midwife. Some think tears heal better unaided, others that episiotomies make a neater line to stitch. Most midwives will judge each case according to what's happening - so if the baby is big or not progressing as fast as midwife would like then they'll probably make the cut - the whole area is stretched so tight by that time that the nerves won't be working properly so you won't feel a thing - and you certainly won't if you're having pain relief.

Please don't worry about tearing - the feelings of relief/shock/joy/triumph as the baby actually comes out will completely negate anything else.

Original poster

squishy · 08/09/2006 18:02

Thanks for all the input and reassurance; will listen to MW; try not to push too hard and get massaging before it's too late!!

OP posts:

2ndtime · 08/09/2006 19:53

I agree with sweetkitty.There really is nothing nicer that a few drops of lavinder oil in a warm bath to soothe your bits. I give it to all my friend who are expecting.

MKG · 11/09/2006 20:48

I agree with morningpaper, In my opinion the feeling of having to push out a 7 lb person is much worse than tearing. Besides, once my son was out I was so happy to be done and hold him, that I didn't notice any pain. Last thing, I think that natural tearing sounds more appealing than someone intentionally cutting you.

kittywits · 11/09/2006 21:01

I've had three 2nd degree tears but they all healed fine and the last one didn't even need stiches, hooray. My kids have all come out with a hand by the face, the last one at 9lb 2oz actually had her elbow sticking out to the side and head a really huge head . Some people get bad tears with smaller babies, there's no rhyme or reason to it it seems.

MKG · 12/09/2006 01:24

I know what kittywits is sayiing, my son was born at 6 lbs 1 oz but he had his hand over his face. I like to think that he was waving hello as he entered the world.

nettletease · 14/09/2006 16:28

Hi Squishy. I had first baby in May, and I was also petrified of tearing or being cut. I has 2nd degree tear after episiotomy (ds had hand over head) with quite a lot of stitches, but didn't feel a thing after anaesthetic for episiotomy. Didn't use any pain relief during birth, but really needed gas and air for stitches . No problems immediately afterwards until stitches needed to come out - removed them myself in desperation and then felt much better. Now can't even see where the tear was . Hope you get through without, but please don't worry.

Rochwen · 14/09/2006 16:41

Are there women who DON'T tear? How common is it to tear? Is it the norm or very rare?

quokka · 14/09/2006 16:44

I didn't tear with both ds's. Both were natural births which I think helped.

TearingMyHairOut · 14/09/2006 16:51

Don't worry about tearing...I think it's quite common. I had third degree tear, they used disolvable stitches and it was painful sitting down and gettin in and out car for few days but nothing more than that

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