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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Childcare while at hospital giving birth?

10 replies

SVR28 · 28/05/2014 10:53

We are thinking about having baby number 2 but who will look after baby number 1 while we are at hospital?
Due to a number of reasons I will need to give birth in hospital. The only friends or family we have are 2 hours away, they work, have children of their own etc. so not easy to call upon in an emergency. We've just moved so don't

We can get an emergency baby sitter but only during working hours.

Could my husband bring our little boy along to the hospital until the emergency baby sitter picks him up? (I had a horrible 1st birth so have no desire to be on my own during a 2nd labour).

Has anyone else been in this position? What did you do? Thanks

OP posts:
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OneLittleToddleTerror · 28/05/2014 11:09

I am in the same situation and have thought about a doula. DD doesn't like strangers so there isn't a chance to fob her off to an emergency baby sitter.

I have a very long labour last time, 3 days. However it's traumatic in the way that the hospital didn't take me seriously. I am sure I can handle it myself in there. I managed to go get teas, went to the loo, the nurses station and had a chat with a lady waiting for a elcs. It's not ideal but I think I will labour worse if I worry about DD getting distressed.

I know it's not helpful but hopefully you won't feel you are alone in this.

Zara8 · 28/05/2014 13:12

I have not yet had DC2 yet (am current pregnant with him/her!) but we live far away from family (but have lots of friends nearby). Family are coming to stay from 39 weeks but if I need to go to hospital before then we are likely to:

(1) me take a taxi solo to hospital and DH stays at home with DS
(2) call friends to come over to our house, or we take DS to them

TBH if it's eg the middle of the night I'd probably just go into hospital by myself. I will feel happier knowing DS is with DH (DS will be under 2 when I'm due, not great with other adults except a couple of close friends).

If it's during the daytime on a weekday and we were stuck we would also consider phoning his nursery (if it's a day he's not normally in) and asking if they will take him.

Zara8 · 28/05/2014 13:13

Your hospital may also have a no children policy (to minimise infection), mine does

Chocotrekkie · 28/05/2014 13:15

When I had dd2 there was a no children in the labour ward policy.

SVR28 · 28/05/2014 15:09

Thanks so much OneLittleToddleTerror for the idea of a Doula. I have vaguely heard of them but thought they were spiritual/hypno-birth sorts such is my ignorance!
I've just looked it up online and see that the NCT offer Doula's. This would be a great support for myself and my husband, I won't be left alone as I will be with her and my husband can join us once whichever family/friend or babysitter can arrive to look after our son. Then there is also the support after the birth - my Mum is not around.

You've done a good deed today so thank you, I'm not even pregnant yet but this is already one worry I can tick-off thanks to your suggestion!

Zara8 - thanks also for your taxi suggestion - bit thick but I hadn't thought of that either.

Best wishes to you all.

OP posts:
OneLittleToddleTerror · 28/05/2014 19:13

svr have a look at doula.org.uk if you haven't found it yet.

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 29/05/2014 10:33

I had a doula for DC2 and DC3. I had planned homebirths for both, but both doulas said that, if we had to do an emergency transfer, they would be willing to stay at home with the older child(ren) until family could get there. It would be worth checking this when you interview doulas - if things kicked off fast and you were worried about your DH missing the birth, it could be a weight off your mind to be able to leave your eldest with the doula until your family arrive? We even ensured that the children had met our doula beforehand so that they knew her (most will give antenatal sessions and we used one for this purpose).

Hazchem · 31/05/2014 05:04

The other thing is think about approaching friends who are close even if they have children. I know I would bend over backward to help a friend in labour if it meant putting her mind at ease. I would also do the same for a neighbor.

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 31/05/2014 09:49

Yes, I should have said that too. We are relatively new to our area, but loads of people volunteered to have our older two whilst my family travelled to us if needed. You don't even have to put people on the spot. They'll ask you about where you're having the baby, etc. You can just mention then that your mum (or whoever) will have your eldest, but you hope things don't kick off too fast as it takes 2 hours to get to you. Cue at least 50% of people offering to be back up in my case Smile

Coveredinweetabix · 31/05/2014 10:20

I was worrying about this in the run up to having DC2 as we have no local family (nearest are 3.5hrs away), of the good friends in the area, two of the families were on a fortnight's holiday around my due date and the other three were also due with DC2 around the same time as I was and DP had to go overseas with work when I was 39+4 and when I was 41+13. Given DC1 was born at 41+15, the latter was a real concern.
DD already did three days a week at nursery and I spoke to them and they said that they always had space in an emergency so she could have gone there during a week day, I also had the number of a couple of the ladies from nursery and any nanny that I knew. I also typed out instructions on how DD "functioned" (eg home from nursery for toast (bread in x cupboard, jam in fridge) & banana, half an hour of Cbeebies (instructions on how to turn on TV etc), bath, into PJs (where to find PJs etc) which I had both in my kitchen and in my "grab bag".
My "grab bag" was with my hospital bags and contained a spare set of house keys, £20 and the instructions on DD. My idea was that, if I went into labour during the day on a Monday - Friday, I could drop her off at nursery with that & whichever worker brought her home, would be able to get into the house and know what to do as well as have some cash for emergencies. Likewise, if I had to call someone on a weekend day, they would be able to go out to the park, had funds for an ice cream and keys to let themselves back in again.
At the same time, I'd also packed DD an overnight bag with her favourite PJs, a night nappy, a change of clothes and had a note stuck to the front of it saying "cuddly" to remind me in my panic to put in her cuddly. I also had the spare bed made up here. This was as I was fairly sure, despite not having asked them previously, that in a "it's 4am and I need to go to hospital now" type situation, one of the neighbours would have either taken DD or come & stayed here, which they did probably depending on what their own childcare situation was. They would also have been left the grab bag.
I also always made sure that the pushchair was kept in the house rather than the back of the car so that whoever it was who looked after her could have got her to/from nursery or taken her to the park or whatever.
As it was, I was booked for an induction at 40+12, my parents arrived at about 4pm on 40+11, I first felt a twinge giving DD tea an hour later, realised it probably was labour when she was in the bath at 6, my mum did stories and put her to bed whilst I was in the bath, DP got home at 7, we left for hospital at 8pm, DC2 arrived at 9.29pm, I was taken up to the post-natal ward just before midnight when DP left, DD woke up to the news she had a baby brother, DP took her to nursery as usual and then did the supermarket shop before coming to see me when visiting hours started at 10.00am, I was discharged an hour or so later & we were home for lunch. DP spent the afternoon on conference calls and went on his business trip the next day whilst my parents stayed. It was all remarkably straightforward, involved none of my back up plans and, having had such a quick & easy labour, other than needing a babysitter from 8pm - midnight whilst I was in hospital, I could have done without my parents (although it was nice to have them around).
It was all very different to DC1's birth which took three days and left me pretty much immobile for two week afterwards.

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