Planned c-section/episiotomy

[fatpony]

I was wondering if anyone else has been in this boat: I'm 18 weeks pregnant with first child. Every time I have sex with my husband (for years) it is very painful, I tear and the area where I had a biopsy about four years ago tears too. Takes about a week to heal. DH amazing about it but on the whole sex can be quite painful. The skin there is quite fragile.

I raised it with my midwife as wanted to know what the impact of a v-bac could be: the last thing I want is the situation to get worse (I should add I was treated for two years by St Mary's in London and no solution really beyond surgery). She said she'd had two ladies in the same boat - one had planned c-section and the other a planned episiotomy at the start of labour. I'm seeing the doc at about 25 weeks I think to talk through it more.

So my question is, if anyone else was in this situation what did they do? Would I really have to push for a c-section? It feels a bit precious to ask for one but it would be quite devastating for the situation to be made worse through v-bac, my DH especially is concerned how it would be for me when trying to enjoy new baby and so on. Of course I realise c-section is major surgery. Bit worried about the whole thing. The midwife did say a water birth can help regarding tearing.

Thanks!

I can reassure you about a C section if that helps?

I had a C section for anxiety reasons but it turns out I would have needed one anyway for other reasons (not going to discuss them here). I was treated with respect and dignity throughout the decision making process and not like I was too posh to push or similar.

You will be given lots of information and whilst its good to go with some idea of your own about why you might be considering a C section be aware that each hospital and even each consultant might do it slightly differently so treat google info as general info and not specific.

I think you need to establish how likely it is you could end up with a C anyway because an emergency C is a completely different expereince to a planned one.

As for enjoying baby? Ok this is my story. I was in for my planned C last thursday. I delievered my gorjus baby at 17:02 and she was placed on me at 17:05. The skin to skin lasted (according to my notes) until 10pm. She came out hungry and was feeding from me within the hour. I'm not going to suggest this is possible with everyone or in every situation, but those first moments will stay with me forever as so so precious and special. Daddy has a special role to play with me being a C section mummy because of my physically different capabities now. He helps more with changing and other more physical tasks as well as mummys recovery.

I came out of hospital 48 hours later.. Im a week post surgery and im only on paracetmol and ibrophen.

thats just my experience...

Thanks peeapod. When you went through the process of asking for a c-section did you feel that you really had to push/argue for it? When I saw a different midwife for my 16 week she kind of poo-poohed it as an option, said 'we'll come up with a really good birth plan for you' etc. My DH wants to come to the meeting with the doc/consultant with me so he can help talk my side as it really is a distressing condition sometimes.

I had a planned c section for mental health reasons, so I had a specialist midwife advocating for me at the consultant's meeting - actually he was fine about it. What wasn't helpful was the anethestist grilling me about my reasons when I was sat on the operating table! Also other midwives didn't respect my decision. I'd say be sure 100% it is what you want, then stick to your guns. You can get a second opinion from a different consultant if the first one does not agree with your reasons.

30 days post elcs here. Was on paracetamol and ibuprofen until day 9 then nothing since. My scar is like a tiny cat scratch. I had a vb for dd1 and if a dc3 ever comes along, I'd choose elcs any day.