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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

haunted by childbirth..........not for the pregnant!

24 replies

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:14

Has anyone else had a traumatic childbirth experience and still feeling upset by it?
My LO is 10 weeks old now and for some reason my birth experience is haunting my more and more
In a nutshell I was induced at 36 weeks due to pre-eclampsia had 43 hour labour with two failed vontouse's and ended with an episiotomy and forcep delivery!

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Flossam · 28/08/2006 14:17

Oh that dosen't sound pleasant. I wonder if your GP would refer you for some kind of counselling? I think sometimes the whole experience, because it is something 'normal', people assume women will deal with it and get over it. That is wrong and hopefully your GP will be sympathetic, you are (i think) more at risk of PND following a traumatic birth so well worth trying to resolve. Good luck.

waterfalls · 28/08/2006 14:18

I went into labour at 22 weeks with dts, dt1 was born vaginally, but dt2 had to be delivered by emergency Csection, but halfway through the procedure the epidural wore off, I was scereaming in agony and had to be given a general anesthetic.
I was traumatised for at least 4 months, but it does get easier, speak to your gp as you may be suffering with post traumatic stress.

waterfalls · 28/08/2006 14:18

sorry, that should be 33 weeks

Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:23

WOW you guys are quick!
my epidural failed too due to SPD apparently!
Have checked out the birth trauma association website but not much help at the mo!
Last week felt quite low but hoping its going to pass before I go to GP- blaming the weather?!!? Hoping its not PND!

OP posts:

waterfalls · 28/08/2006 14:25

Oh right, I had SPD too, I wonder if that is why??

Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:26

Appaently so, because its in the bones and the baby is pressing on these and a nerve blocker wont do anything for this!!

OP posts:

Saturn74 · 28/08/2006 14:27

Janenevie, your experience sounds very similar to mine with DS1. It was nearly 11 years ago, and the hospital were just trialling a 'Birth Reflections' counselling service. They offered it to me, and I decided to give it a try. The midwife who delivered DS1 came to our house, and went through my notes, and we discussed what had happened and why. She also gave me details of other counselling services, which I didn't feel I needed in the end. It really helped, and it may now be something that all hospitals offer routinely now - it's a while since I gave birth, so not sure. Might be worth asking your surgery or midwife about this kind of thing? HTH.

waterfalls · 28/08/2006 14:28

so why on earth dont they give general anesthetic for C Sections, for people with SPD? unless its very rare

Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:29

OMG 11 years on......
I hope I dont feel like this for that long.....
I deffo is getting worse and not better though, I think its because I have a really patchy memory of exactly what happened and am getting flashbacks every noght about more and more things...?

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Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:31

Waterfalls: I dont know I guess they should the "senior" midwife on shift when I was in labour knew straight away thet my "breakthrew" pains from the epidural was due to SPD!!

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Saturn74 · 28/08/2006 14:32

Oh no! You've misunderstood I think! The 'Birth Reflections' was about three months after I'd had my baby. I was just saying that it was a new idea then (11 years ago), but that it might be common practise now. Sorry for any confusion, and don't worry, it didn't take 11 years to get over!!

Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:33

Thank god.........

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Saturn74 · 28/08/2006 14:37

Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:40

I dont think I'd be happy using a service through the hospital as I feel certain staff members made it worse!
Dont get me wrong there were some fantastic staff too but the bad ones are the ones that stick with you unfortunately!
Maybe GP is the way is it carries on but dont want to just yet as it seems to soon and not sure if most ppl with bad experiences feel this way for this long?!?!

OP posts:

Socci · 28/08/2006 14:41

Message withdrawn

Original poster

janenevie · 28/08/2006 14:46

Socci: I think the feeling of no control over what was happening is the key esp being a health professional myself......
As I was told me and my baby were in potential danger I just let them do whatever, I even had pressure sores on my side as I wasnt allowed off the bed for the whole 43 hours of labour or for 2 days afterwards as my blood pressure wouldn't come down!!

OP posts:

Socci · 28/08/2006 14:53

Message withdrawn

Saturn74 · 28/08/2006 15:27

bump

Mum2FunkyDude · 28/08/2006 15:40

I was induced 3 times in 48 hours, it didn't work I went into labour 36 hours later, after 24 hours in labour they eventually gave me an emergency C-section. My dh said the registrar came to apologise to HIM for leaving it so late! She never spoke to me. I was really out of it and cannot remember what exactly happened and that is the only thing that is getting to me. Dh says the gist of was, that if it was 50 years ago, they would've asked him to choose between the baby and me!

So I feel cheated for not knowing what went on and it is now 9 months since!

Original poster

janenevie · 29/08/2006 13:06

Hi all,

Thanks for all your help n support, Am going to see my HV tomorrow so I'll mention it to her then!!

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iPodthereforiPoor · 29/08/2006 14:07

best you do!!! or i'll come and make you go!
Will try to call you asap but you know what its like!

BabiesEverywhere · 30/08/2006 22:50

I had a horrible labour 10 days ago resulting in a beautiful DD but I get very upset when I think about how the rest of the abour went, though I try to think about it as it upsets me so much.

My midwife has mentioned counselling/going though the medical records at the hospital next month and I hope that will help fill in the gaps of my memory and stop me feeling so bad about what happened.

Sadly I think this kinda thing is more common than we are lead to believe as pregnant women.

3andnomore · 05/09/2006 11:55

Janeevie...it takes time to heal emotionally after a traumatic Childbirht experience...people around us are so quick to dismiss our feelings if we are physcially o.k. and Baby is healthy etc...which can lead to a deepseated feeling of guilt, which does no goood whatsoever!
It is very normal to feel bad after a traumatic experrience, and it is not unusual to even suffer with post traumatic stress syndrom after it.
My ys is 2 now, and it took me a long time to overcome the experience I ahd with him, and even though I still now think about it and still have the need to talk about it, but I am better able to deal with it now and it's getting easier and easier all the time.
You might need counselling, have you talked to your HV or GP about it. How about close real life friends anyone you could talk to where you wouldn't have to worry about being judged? Or maybe your Partner or Husband?
But firstly, be kind to yourself!!!!!!!
Oh, and maybe getting a meeting set up with the Hospital and getting your notes might help to clarify the reasons?

jumblesale · 05/09/2006 12:50

Oh dear you've all had some really horrendous experiences. I was actually reasonably lucky; I was induced twice and completely lost control, but still managed to deliver vaginally with no intervention thank goodness. I think one of the biggest problems is that old chestnut about 'as soon as you hold that baby in your arms you forget about the pain'. Er, no. Mine's 6 now and I still get quite angry about what I now know to have been an unnecessary induction (I was only 11 days 'late').
On my second child I refused to let 'them' anywhere near me. I went 13 days over, went into labour naturally and had the home birth I wanted. As someone has already said on here, the control I had the second time around really helped me deal with all the fallout from the first time, when I was actually scared to go to sleep, in case I dreamt I was in labour!
No-one wants to hear about how horrendous it is, do they? They want you to just be gooey and completely in love with your newborn - which of course you are!
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. It does get better, honestly - in the meantime try not to floor anyone who says 'Ah, but it was worth it, wasn't it?'

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