A little advice from a brand new mum! Happy birth :)

[HannahG315]

Thanks for the support and advice over the past few weeks. My LO was born March 16th and settling in great- here's some tips for those still waiting:

• when waiting for labour to progress get up and about!!! I don't mean walking up and down corridors. I ran up and down four flights of stairs for over an hour, squats, jumping jacks, even Irish dancing! And various speeds up and around the hospital grounds- therefore my labour progressed quickly and without intervention (after waters went, had 24 hours to get myself going naturally)

• EAT AND DRINK RUBBISH FOOD!! My midwife told me to eat a McDonalds or fry up from canteen and drink full fat lucozade or coke- gave me the energy to get through the day and run around getting labour going.. You need fatty stodgy food

• have TWO birth partners- if you're there for a long time they can take shifts! My mum took the long slog and my OH got to have his last ever decent sleep- he was nervous and cleaned the house instead, but it was better than waiting around with me

• demand!!! My mother was good at this, she ensured that nurses and midwives did what they promised and when!

• grunt don't scream 'put your voice in your bottom' when you're trying to control those contractions screaming makes them last longer, if you feel like you can literally growl through it you can move with it

-- be wary of pain relief- gas and air for me was awful. I felt out of control and then I was given diamorphine (not sure how its spelt) and I no longer had the ability to feel the contraction build and release- suddenly loosing this control and being OFF MY TITS made me panic.

Once you have accepted the pain it is doable, you just need to think of it as a driving force- like an acceleration up a big hill! I'm sat here now with my little boy and that seems like a blip in the grand scheme of things!!!

Just wanted to share this with anyone still waiting or with any concerns. I've found these posts really reassuring and brutally honest!!! Hope someone else gets that from this!

I am not sure you can state as a fact what the OP's motivation is for posting.

That's why people advised her.

I have to say though, her vocabulary and general literacy seem pretty good... and she chose to call this thread advice. Not for a second to deliberately upset or offend, I hasten to add!

But the claim 'it was only a birth story' (and I subscribe to several good-birth-story blogs/sites) doesn't quite ring true, although I am sure (as I have said) she did not wish to upset anyone and was overjoyed at her success!

Shall we stop?

From searching other posts it seems OP is younger than MN's average poster (no judgement from me - she's older than I was when I had my first!) and I suspect has come straight from the very supportive conception and antenatal boards to the wider, more accessed parts of the site.

There was a very similar episiotomy thread recently that went much, much worse than this.

We all recognise OP's intentions were good. We don't need to continue.

Well i for one like to hear about nice stories Im having my first baby and 37 weeks am very scared I am well informed about pain relief etc and i expect i will want a lot but its nice to hear sometimes it goes really well and straight forward

congrats op on new baby

Glad you had a happy birth and congratulations on your baby.

I can only echo what Squizita said though.

We had a woman a little like you join our playgroup - she started a FB page to tell other mothers how to do things. Not to share experience, just to tell them how they should do XYZ. It didn't go down well, and pretty much for the same reason.

There's that phrase - don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs - that seems quite appropriate here. :)

To be fair to OP, I think it was only after I had my second baby that I realised quite how different labours can be... even for the same person.

OP only intended to help, and I'm sure some of her tips will help some people.

Sorry op but even if I had a perfect birth, none of your 'advice' would have been helpful at all. I like to crawl into a hole when I'm in pain and get plenty of sympathy!TThat's about it really... Running a marathon? Why on earth would ya wanna do that when you're in Labour? Eat McDonald's? I've gallstones so it could kill me... Never mind 'getting rid' of it during Labour . Dh was the only person I wanted to join me for the birth of our child... I don't want tag team, if I'm going through every second so is he. I'm a screamer... I don't do well with pain in general but I find screaming actually helps take my mind off of the pain. As for pain relief... Pethadine helped me snore in between contractions when they were a minute apart!

So yep, 'advice' was a terrible choice of words I'm afraid. So that worked for you, wonderful, it would have made my experience an absolute nightmare!

I think what people found upsetting is that for the way the post is phrased it suggests that if you did not have a good experience it was your fault for not doing this and that. With my first I had an induction due to water breaking but no contraction, and chose an epidural because I could not cope with the pain. I ended up with forceps and a bad tear and for 4 years I have been blaming myself for choosing an epidural and not staying mobile. Second time around I did lots of preparation with hypnobirth CDs yoga etc. My labour started in exactly the same way, induction due to water braking and no contractions. But this time I was determined to avoid forceps so I laboured with only tens machine as pain relief and gas and air towards the end. No epidural. I bouced on the birthing ball, swinged my hips, walk lots, everything. And you know what? I ended up with forceps again! And to be honest although the outcome was disappointing it Was slso an immense relief to know that actually nothing I had done during the first labour was 'wrong' and that ending up with a bad tear was not the consequence of my decisions or my mistakes. Now I know my body is just not very efficient at birthing naturally and I accept it. My second birth although very similiar to the first has actually helped me overcome the huge sense of failure i felt after the first. Now I dont feel smy guilt or regret about my births and i only feel lucky to have two wonderful childrens.

Come on everyone, give the OP a break, she's on the crest of a wave; that lovely high after giving birth. I have had three labours and only one went to plan but I can appreciate that she is only trying to share her experiences, not upset anyone.

Yes I agree, she made a mistake, I'm sure she's got the point now and there's no need for anyone to come and tell her she was wrong anymore. Enough people have told her now!! Lets leave it at that

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I enjoyed reading the advice that the OP gave. It is nice to hear about good birth stories. Clearly it won't work for everyone but it did for her and clearly her intentions in sharing her experience were good. Through work I have seen births that have gone well and those which have gone horrendously so am aware that there is no easy fix all solution. However as a pregnant woman with my first baby it is always nice to hear good birth stories to go hand in hand with so many of the bad ones you hear.