A little advice from a brand new mum! Happy birth :)

[HannahG315]

Thanks for the support and advice over the past few weeks. My LO was born March 16th and settling in great- here's some tips for those still waiting:

• when waiting for labour to progress get up and about!!! I don't mean walking up and down corridors. I ran up and down four flights of stairs for over an hour, squats, jumping jacks, even Irish dancing! And various speeds up and around the hospital grounds- therefore my labour progressed quickly and without intervention (after waters went, had 24 hours to get myself going naturally)

• EAT AND DRINK RUBBISH FOOD!! My midwife told me to eat a McDonalds or fry up from canteen and drink full fat lucozade or coke- gave me the energy to get through the day and run around getting labour going.. You need fatty stodgy food

• have TWO birth partners- if you're there for a long time they can take shifts! My mum took the long slog and my OH got to have his last ever decent sleep- he was nervous and cleaned the house instead, but it was better than waiting around with me

• demand!!! My mother was good at this, she ensured that nurses and midwives did what they promised and when!

• grunt don't scream 'put your voice in your bottom' when you're trying to control those contractions screaming makes them last longer, if you feel like you can literally growl through it you can move with it

-- be wary of pain relief- gas and air for me was awful. I felt out of control and then I was given diamorphine (not sure how its spelt) and I no longer had the ability to feel the contraction build and release- suddenly loosing this control and being OFF MY TITS made me panic.

Once you have accepted the pain it is doable, you just need to think of it as a driving force- like an acceleration up a big hill! I'm sat here now with my little boy and that seems like a blip in the grand scheme of things!!!

Just wanted to share this with anyone still waiting or with any concerns. I've found these posts really reassuring and brutally honest!!! Hope someone else gets that from this!

You're lucky love. After the traumatic, drawn out, and very painful birth my sister has just been through, despite all the positive preparation she did, I find your post highly naive and irritating.

despite all the positive preparation she did

Exactly floatyflo

I had a undiagnosed back to back birth with my dd no way would you get me running up and down stairs or corridors just trying to move from side to side was like a marathon lol. Gas and air was brilliant for me and at the pushing stage I used the tube to bit down on so I weren't screaming my head off. Like a few have said every labour is different my 1st was born after only 2 hours from start to finish and my 2nd was 12 hours andpainful you just have to go with your body at the time and listen to what is being said if you can

I wouldn't say we were a miserable bunch. Some people have very traumatic labours. I am mentally and emotionally scarred from my dds birth 5 months ago, I don't think I will ever truly get over it. Its certainly made sure dd will be an only child.

Its lovely that the OP and others had a positive birth experience but naive to think its because of what she did etc. And although she didn't mean to offend, I can absolutely see why she has offended.

First of all, I'm very glad that you had such a positive birth experience and I'm certain that you wrote this post with the very best of intentions, wanting to reassure pregnant women I'm due to give birth to my second baby in a few weeks and I hope I have a birth like yours :)

What I will say though, is that although I went into my first birth with a very positive attitude, my birth experience ended up being nothing like yours, for a lot of reasons that were out of my control. I felt a lot of guilt that I hadn't had the "right" sort of birth and that I'd needed pain relief etc and to be brutally honest, if I'd read this post a couple of years ago it would have upset me a lot. I know that this was totally not your intention though!

I was induced and spent a lot of time up and about at the beginning of my labour trying to encourage baby to come. However, his cord was over his shoulder and with every contraction it was being compressed, making his heart rate drop very low. This meant for the rest of my labour I was strapped to a bed on a monitor so couldn't get up at all. I did eat during my labour, but due to suffering hyperemesis and having an adverse reaction to meptid, I vomited repeatedly so ended up not keeping anything down. Due to my labour not progressing as quickly as it needed to with my son's heartbeat dropping, I was put on a drip to speed contractions, which was incredibly painful as your body is being forced to do something it is not yet ready to do.

I am allergic to morphine and gas and air wasn't helping with the pain so I eventually had an epidural. I was gutted about this as it was something I really did not want, but in hindsight it was a good thing I'd had it as my son eventually was born via a failed ventouse and forceps as he was becoming quite poorly and it was critical he arrived when he did because of his heart rate. If I'd not had the epidural I would have needed an emergency c-section under a general as there would have been no time to sort out a spinal block.

I'm really, really pleased for you that you had a great birth, but please bear in mind that not everybody does. If I'd read this post not long after my first birth, it would have irritated and upset me, as the things that happened during my son's birth were out of my control. I would have found some of your "tips" a bit patronising I'm afraid :(

Enjoy your newborn snuggles, there's nothing quite like them I'm looking forward to snuggling up with this baby and hoping for a much more positive birth experience this time :)

Your midwife told you to eat a McDonalds? Bleugh.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby! :)

There's no way I would have wanted two birthing partners though. My mum would have done my tree in and I wouldn't have cared about DH getting a last bit of sleep - if I ain't sleeping neither is he! :o
It might be quite difficult to have two birthing partners when you're on your 2nd + child as you might need GPs to look after 1st etc child while you're in labour.

Hippymama, I had an almost identical first birth as you with my DS. I remember how a few weeks later a friend had a very straightforward birth without intervention and her DH was saying how proud he was that all she needed were a few gasps of gas and air. Needless to say this depressed me a lot because I did not choose the way my labour went and felt like a failure.

I had my DD a couple of months ago and her birth was so much more straight forward - very quick and no pain relief needed only gas and air, more like the OP's. Hopefully you will have the same sort of experience.

OP, of course, congratulations on the birth of your baby! Enjoy the first weeks, it's such a precious time.

Thank you imme. That is reassuring to hear :) I'm due in 5 weeks, but it is looking like baby might have to come before for various reasons. It took me a long time to deal with my feelings around my first birth and I actually had counselling about it when I found out I was pregnant this time, which helped enormously :) I'm feeling quite positive about this birth and hope it is much more straight forward this time!

We're not miserable. If she'd come on and merely shared her birth experience none of us would've said anything but "brilliant, congratulations!" However, she didn't and people area rely saying thanks but it's not always that way.

Everyone has been pleasant.

I disagree with you on every count.
My baby was back-to-back, the pain was not do-able. No chance of Irish dancing.
Rubbish food is not the best way to reserve energy (not to mention McDonalds being unethical!).
I had a horrible birth and am still traumatised 8 weeks later, but am glad only my husband was there to share something so intimate, scary and undignified.
Your post reminds me again how individual every birth is, and makes me feel bitter that mine was so bad.
The fact yours was better is great for you, but doesn't make you an expert who should be giving out advice.

My thoughts are much better said by Hippymama's first post though.

Huge congrats on your baby.

Hoever, my first baby was back to back. I couldn't move - apart from writhe in agony.

I would have puked if I'd eaten anything, especially junk food.

Having anyone other than my husband and the midwives/other medical professionals in the room would have stressed the hell out of me.

I utterly loved being "off my tits" on pethidene and then numb with an epidural. It gave me some much needed relief after three days of contractions.

Second baby, I pushed out without so much as a paracetemol but it was a totally different labour and I was lucky and grateful to be able to do that.

Every labour is different.

PickleSarnie your birth experiences sound similar to mine apart from the puking with the first one. I was starving but they wouldn't let me have anything as I'd had an epidural!

Second labour was a piece of piss! If I'd have had that experience alone I would have thought "what do women whine about? Stubbing your toe is worse!"

But I know that every labour is different.

Congratulations on your new baby.
I must say apart from the horrific pain and becoming obsessed with my hairband I just wanted food in labour and after. I nagged the midwife constantly about it. That and more drugs

oh and I nagged for a c section as I had one the first time, but being 7 weeks early it had not been agreed. Got that too. I must have been very annoying.
My advice- I have none as each pregnancy and birth is very different.

OP congratulations on your new baby and I'm delighted you had such a great birth experience. Thanks for sharing it.

I posted mine great birth experience after DD1 and got a similar response from others. It seems it's ok to talk about negative experiences on here but when you have a really positive one it can be taken the wrong way. I was really surprised and upset with some of the remarks so I hope you are not feeling the same.

take care and enjoy this special time x

I think the reactions are there *imiss because of the following phrases and words which are command phrases as if this is instructions - it is not phrased ANYTHING LIKE a normal 'good birth story' but like an instruction manual
A little advice (1st words in title)
get up and about!!! ... therefore my labour progressed quickly and without intervention (suggesting her Irish dancing was right and all those women who had bad births could have avoided them)
You need fatty stodgy food (Not 'I enjoyed...' but YOU NEED)
grunt don't scream (scream and the pain's your fault)
be wary of pain relief (erm she had a straightforward birth- no one's going to want to be cut - or worse- without some pain relief if they can!?!)
Once you have accepted the pain it is doable (not for everyone, but this makes anyone who cannot handle it sound weak).

And I'm not putting it down to an accident of wording either: the FIRST WORD in the title is 'advice'. She chose to write that. A lot of women who have had GOOD births have gently ticked her off too.

It makes people planning for a medicalised birth, people with SPD, people who cannot eat certain foods not to mention anyone who had a bad birth experience feel terrible/weak.

squizita puts it perfectly.

I had a bad birth experience and I love hearing/reading good birth experiences, really really love it
But the OP didn't write it to share her experience, she wrote it as advice and tips. Not the same thing.

squizita puts it perfectly. - agreed

Well said squizita.

Badly phrased or not, I can see why some people may be offended.

Saying that, I don't think anyone's given her a hard time, just politely said congratulations but given her a warning about how her post may be taken.