Fact No 1: Whilst an ELCS IS major surgery, it is also generally regarded as 'safe'. In fact NICE looked at the evidence and said that maternal requests should be respected as comparatively a planned ELCS was no more risky than a planned VB (which includes the risks of a EMCS and an instrumental VB). There are slight flaws with their conclusions; namely this data was based on first time mothers only and does not reflect any additional risks from subsequent ELCS (the risks increase with each subsequent CS and decrease with subsequent VBs). It is therefore pretty morally reprehensible and unethical to try and talk you out of an ELCS by saying it is unsafe. There may be reasons why in the next few weeks you might be diagnosed with a physical complication which necessitates an ELCS. They should be giving you accurate information not scaremongering - there are plenty of other ways to talk to you about the benefits of a VB without doing this.
Fact No 2: Are your reasons for wanting an ELCS down to your physical problems or do you have an underlying anxiety about the whole process too? Mental Health concerns ARE a legitimate reason and medical reason to have an ELCS. The NICE guidance was updated in 2011 to reflect this, and to recognise support women suffering from anxiety and help them get an ELCS should they need one due to a disparity of care throughout the country with some NHS Trust being more proactive about mental health than other. This, however, is extremely controversial guidance and some Trusts are actively ignoring this and have policies in direct conflict with the guidance.
I don't know your circumstances, nor do I know if there is any medical reason with your complications which may mean an ELCS is more risky for you. I do however find the way you have been treated as pretty shameful. Maternal requests are generally not done because someone is being pathetic. They are made because a woman has very real concerns and needs reassurance and support. They should be treated with sensitivity and respect - even if the message is not to have an ELCS. Any concerns should be taken seriously not treated with contempt. In short, your consultant is a dick!
If treated right there are many women who will respond positivity to this support and feel able to go ahead and have a VB. Hopefully, you will have someone who can offer you some support. Otherwise, if you really do want an ELCS and your fears are somewhat deeper, I would take a good look at the NICE guidance on the subject. There is no 'right' way to deal with this - only to give support that is appropriate for each individual woman. There is a definite 'wrong' way to do this though. I think it was demonstrated perfectly by your consultant.
You are in no way being silly, so don't let this idiot get to you. Your fears are real to you, and that is actually the important thing to realise. You are more normal than people often realise. You just need to find the right way for you to progress through it.