Can I request an induction due to lack of childcare?

[NancyJones]

Hi, basically I was wondering whether I could ask for an induction at 40wks so my husband can be with me when I give birth.
We already have 3 sons but have no family so nobody able to look after them during labour. I do not have any friends who could have them either except one who is willing to take the day off if she knows in advance. She is unable to do this at short notice. She has three children of her own so it's a lot to ask but she's my only hope for my husband to be there.

My older two are in school and my 2.5yr old in nursery two mornings a week but they are completely full so can't offer emergency cover. He has mild sn too so I can't suddenly introduce someone new such as an emergency nanny.

So my question is can I request an induction on a particular date such as due date so my friend can help out and husband can be there or will they not consider it and I need to do it alone. The MW suggested a doula but I don't want someone I don't know, I want my husband. Thanks.

Heh, I remember when my brother was born back in 1984. My mum went early at 35 weeks (and told me recently she wished she'd been brave enough to ask other families for help in such a situation) and we all went into the hospital at 5am. I was 7 and my sister was 12.

My big sister and I waited in the "father's room" at the hospital on our own, well - not quite - there was a "father" snoring on the floor so we had to sit there in absolute silence so as not to disturb him! Nobody bothered us at all. When daylight came the "father" woke up and said we should have woken him, he wouldn't have minded, heh. Dad finally came through close to 10am to say we now had a brother, so we'd been on our own for nearly five hours.

Such a different era - in fact it's almost 30 years to the day as it's DB's 30th on Saturday - I'm pretty sure most hospitals would not have the space for a room of that nature at all. Most don't even have "day rooms" now for visitors, more is the pity.

As you can guess when I told her my predicament, my mother suggested we leave the DC if needed at the hospital and I had to explain it just does not work like that now.

NICE guidelines do say that induction for maternal request only can be considered in exceptional circumstances at 40 weeks, such as if the father is about to be posted abroad with armed services. Given your difficulties esp with finding care for a DS with special needs then there might be a chance they'd agree. Hospitals aren't obliged to follow NICE of course esp for something like this but they might agree.

Thank you, Bluesandgreen!
I will ask a week on Monday when I see the consultant. My friend who's a GP has said that the consultant is far more likely to agree than the MW because she doesn't have the 'natural birth' agenda. Disclaimer: I'm all for natural births and mine have been fab. So I guess we'll see what she says.

My induction took 06:00 Monday to 23:45 Wednesday, but it was my first.
I am sure someone will help. I would, and I don't even know you. I think there is a bit of a sisterhood mentality when it comes to childbirth stuff! Good luck OP.

Thank you catsize! It's reassuring to know people would help with the older boys but with younger one's sn it's all so much more complicated.
Just texted my GP friend who said that whilst it may take a few hours to get me into established labour, it will be very quick after that. Ds3 I was pushing for 1min, ds2 for 4mins and ds1 was just half an hour so that part has always been fairly quick. But she also said it could all be over within an hour if I happen to be ready which is more likely if I wait until due date I guess.

I'd ask around. I bet you could find someone who wouldn't mind a 3am phone call in a genuine emergency like childbirth. I'd definitely do it for a friend or neighbour - everyone who's had children themselves knows how stressful it is trying to work out emergency childcare when you have no idea of exactly when the emergency is going to be!

Thanks January! It's more finding someone that ds3 with SN would be happy to stay with as he becomes inconsolable and hysterical with people he doesn't know. Settling in period at nursery took 9mths and he still doesn't stay every day due to becoming so distressed some mornings.