3rd degree tear, episiostomy & forceps first time, and im so glad i braved another vaginal birth second time: a posiitive experience!

[Ilovekittyelise]

hi!

have been reading and contributing to many of the awful induction/3rd degree tear/forceps/episiostomy/damaged perineum threads re my first birth in 2011 & just wanted to share (in brief....i need sleep!).

sept 2011: induced at 39+6. baby not ready at all, long syntocinon labour, ended in theatre delivery, big blood loss, episiostomy, 3rd degree tear, forceps, couldnt sit down comfortably and swollen for months after. perinneal damage (moderate prolapse), psychologically huge after effects, basically didnt want to have sex since. second child conceived by having sex by ovulation sticks and little pleasure with the thought in my mind that i will have elcs etc.

may 2014: pregnant.

sept 2014: saw wonderful consultant for first time who convinces me a vb wont necessarily ruin whats left of my bits and will support me going to term providing alls well with my health and baby.

during pregnancy: weirdly ibs better due to supplements and prolapse improved. built up trust in consultant and realise c section with toddler not ideal. mentally go where i didnt think possible.

10 feb 2014: induction date. having had sweeps knew i was v favourable and went in in early labour. was in established labour shortly after breaking waters and didnt need hormone drip. dilated fast and ended up having epidural. took pain away but could feel bum and bits and could move legs (was on feet 1.5 hours after giving birth). pushed my 9lb 4oz baby out unassisted, felt him being born & was delivered straight onto me (last time numb from neck down and couldnt hold him). weeping with joy at the beauty of it.

immediate aftermath: i did tear, 2nd degree, and sewed up by midwife. had a shower after! didnt even need paracetemol, did wees normally right away. discharged next day.

day 3 (today): the dreaded poo! painless. i feel wonderful.

sorry this is very graphic and barely mentions my beautiful second son matthew owen, but just really wanted to share the fact that after a dreadful and terrifying first birth, i had a wonderful, positive and beautiful experience which didnt cause further damage. ironically we dont want more children, and i feel slightly sad that i wont experience childbirth again. i also want my husband to make love to me, for the first time in 2.5 years (obviously going to wait!!!!).

i hope this brings some comfort and hope to other ladies that have had a difficult experience and are struggling with their choices for subsequent births.

Thank you for this post.

My first birth was similar to yours just under 4 weeks ago and I have wondered if I could face a second even if a persuade them to give me a CS. This has helped me consider the possibility of a sibling.

Thank you for posting this - really, really helpful.

Congratulations

pinkbell & everyone else thats had a monster birth im afraid its just a matter of time in terms of healing. however, i think the arnica tiny tablet things hekped, and also, tea tree oil in bath and few drops on pad helps keep clean. hopefully you have difluc or whatever its called?

try to take it easy on yourself; feed however is easiest, dont beat yourself up about breast feding. i didnt manage last time it was simply too uncomfortable trying to sit comfortably and attach something to my tit!!!

also, remember walking was dreadful for ages due to swelling, take it easy, short walks only!

Thank you so much for posting this - I had a forceps delivery 9 weeks ago and really worried about what damage may have been done. Was writing off the idea of ever having a second - this is a good hope story! :-)

Op mu first both sounds very similar to yours. Episiotomy, tear and forceps. The forceps were done with no pain relief and I was a real mess. My consultant, second time round, offered a c-section due to the first birth but said he thought of be fine second time. I was scared after the first time but, like you, number 2 was totAlly different. Instead of a 52 hour labour, number 2 was a 1 hour 54 minute labour, easy experience! It was brilliant and healed the trauma of the first one. I had a small tear second time but didn't even notice and it was stitched my the doctor quickly. I'm so glad I went for a vb as It was so cathartic.

pinkbell I found scrunching up toilet roll and pressing it gently on to the wound when pooing made me feel a bit more comfortable. I'm afraid it is just time. I occasionally used to put the cool setting hair dryer on the wound!

What a great story, congratulations op!

(re doing a poo pinkbell - lay off the codeine. I was in agony after DC1 and was wiring into codeine, not realising that it is constipating. Didn't do a poo for 10 days after birth. Day 10 was not good. Don't do that. And congratulations!)

Thank you so much for posting this. Birth no. 1 was similarly horrid with forceps and PPH and various other horribleness. I'm 37+5 now with no. 2 and terrified so thank you for sending out hope. I didn't consider a ELSC because the recovery was the worst bit about my first birth, so recovering from a c - section with a toddler in tow doesn't appeal to me one bit...

And same as you the horrible recovery was one of many factors that led to bf failing for me. I really want to bf this time.

Pinkbell get yourself some glycerin suppositories. They soften everything up and make that first poo much easier. Don't know why women aren't given them upon discharge from hospital really!

Thank you OP and congratulations! I'm week 11 pp post birth of my 2nd baby (first was EMCS) which ended in forceps and epi. My stitches fell out at 5 days and its healed into a big raw mess. The thought of having sex literall terrifies me. Let alone having another baby! I would have liked 3, it's good to know that there's light at the end if the tunnel and we are not alone x

It's interesting what you say about the swelling, people keep telling me its takes a year to heal from this, think I'm being too hard on myself