Talk me through after birth!

[Tinkerbellefairy]

Hi ladies,

I'm a first time mum so please bare with my silly questions. Feeling relatively ok with the whole labour and actual giving birth as you hear/ read lots about that. However, feel completely clueless about what will actually happen after I have that lovely newborn in my arms and this is playing on my mind so hoping experienced ladies can fill in some gaps.

Was wondering about how long I will have before getting moved to main ward, how much support mw gives you with breast feeding and nappies (due to never changing a boys nappy before, those extra bits and pieces are worrying me!) or whether you're sort of left to get on with things. When will I go for shower etc and this may sound really vain but do you actually have a full on shower washing hair etc? I understand prob need to completely freshen up but my hair is so thick it takes ages to dry and just think it would be horrible having wet hair for hours as won't be able to blow dry it. When nappy does need changing where do I do this? Do I need to bring travel mat to do it on my bed?

Well done if you made it to the end of my post and thanks in advance for any replies!

I didn't experience afterpains as periodpain-like more like I had been kicked down below but after what just happened it was kind of obvious that would still hurt! I had just been told by more than one person that all the pain stops as soon as the baby is born literally as soon as it is out it stops hurting but thats not the case and I think its good to be aware of that so that you're not taken by surprise! I was also dreading internal exams (as my only previous experience of them was during the confirmation of an ecotpic pregnancy I had never had a straightforward smear before) but you can tell them you don't cope well them. I would hold DPs hand tight and shut my eyes and put my headphones and that helped. So just tell them if you're scared! :)

I could not wait to wash my hair, I felt so much better after a bath and washed hair. I only spent just over an hour in the delivery room after before sent to the ward , this was after a ventouse delivery and stitched back up. My baby was born mid afternoon and we stayed the night.

I really struggled with breast feeding and needed help everytime, some midwives were wonderful and some very unhelpful throughout the night that I sat and cried with a screaming baby not feeding while she said 'you best learn to do it alone'. I didn't get any sleep until the next night either so I was exhausted when my husband got back. They wouldn't let us go home without her feeding properly so after a lot of crying (from me) I decided to give her formula. I hadn't thought of the after birth part but it was a lot grimmer than I would have liked. But no matter how bad it gets you just have to look down at your beautiful baby next to you and it's all worth it :)

My baby was a ventouse delivery. The paediatrician was in the room as she passed meconium and her heart rate had dropped lots and she was taken straight over to ber on the otber side of them room. I had tbe injection for the placenta and then the doctors were examining the tear amd getting ready to stitch me up while this was happening.

After what felt like an age but probably wasn't that long she was returned to me for skin to skin. The docs were still stitching me so she can't have been gone that long.

We had our first breast feed and they left us alone for a while (it was lovely and quiet and magical just being alone as a new little family) then we were brought tea and toast so DH had his cuddles while I ate.

The midwife showed DH how to do the nappy and dress the baby (he had no experience with newborns whereas I work with babies) and I called my mum!

Then it was time to have a bath. I couldn't bear to leave the baby so the midwives suggested DH wheel her into the bathroom in her bassinet and sit with me. The bath was lovely, I was worried it would sting my stitches but it was very soothing. The midwives had essential oils you could add to the bath and a list of what they were good for.

After the bath we were transferred to tbe post-natal ward. We had a privatr room as we knew in advance we would have to stay at least 24hours due to possibility of baby having problems due to my meds. It was 3 am when we got to the ward so they settled me into bed, left DH to say his goodbyes then he left too.

They did obs on the baby not too long after and her temperature was too low so they suggested I pop her inside my nightie as skin to skin helps temperature regulation. I didn't sleep a wink as I was on too much of a high, just laid with her on my chest and looked at her.

The next morning the paeds came round to check her,
And I had a visit from the breast feeding advisor and the physio. She gave me a leaflet of exercises I promptly forgot about, talked a lot about pelvic floor exercises and suggested that when I had my cirst poo I held a maternity pad against my stitches while pushing it out as it helps reassure you they wont5 pop! (They won't it's just a bit nerve wracking the first time).

The midwives checked the baby every 4 hours and I had them in lots to help with breastfeeding. They also offered me pain relief regularly (paracetamol and diclofenac). The afterpains I only really noticed while feeding (breastfeeding helps the womb contract back) but the stitches were a bit stingy - I really appreciated the thickness of the maternity pads as it gives you a cushion to sit on!

The birth of my daughter was super fast - as in when I got to hospital I had her within 40mins of getting there. I ended up in a MLU, and had her, then delivered the placenta quickly afterwards.

I then lay on the bed thingy, with her on my chest, the midwife helped her latch on and we were like that for ages. During this I was checked to see if I needed stitches, and brought tea and toast.

I had a lovely long shower about an hour later, changed into my nightie and hospital pants and went to the ward.

My daughter was wrapped in her blanket for ages, we didn't dress her properly for ages. No particular help with nappy changing from hospital so I was a bit foxed, but my mum watched and reminded me to dry her off etc as I was clueless.

We were stuck in for 3 days because my daughter had low blood sugar. My one frustration was that I didn't make the staff tell me what was happening and why sooner. It would've saved a lot of tears.

Oh - and to answer the question, we changed the nappies whilst she was in the plastic cot thing in hospital. She couldn't go anywhere and it didn't occur to me to do anything else.

We did nappy changes on the bed. I had a travel changing mat from my changing bag we used, or a folded up hospital towel (there were an abundance of them on the post-natal ward, but on the ward I work on in the same hospital we are forever having shortages!).

My DD had her Apgars done then was given to me for skin to skin while I was being stitched up. DH did her first nappy (though after she'd had her first poo all over me!) then I breastfed her while we called the grandparents & my DSIS. I then wobbled to the shower with DH. We moved up to the postnatal ward about 3-4hours after she was born. Then DH went home to sleep (was about 5am by now).

I was up for the rest of the night as she wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her. We just snuggled and fed and then I had to get someone to show me how to do the first nappy as I had no clue . Finally got a couple of hours when he came back the next morning. We changed her in the bassinet - they had pads in case of accidents! And don't worry about your hair etc - trust me, you won't give it a second thought! The MW's all wanted to look at the breastfeeding technique and I just
changer her nappies before a feed (unless they were smelly!). Good luck with everything - it's a steep learning curve but you'll be fine!

Pretty much as madballs said, except I was in hospital and gave birth on the bed. PFB was born at 4.36pm, I was stitched (2nd degree tear) after delivering the placenta/DD had the VitK injection etc. They let me keep the gas and air for that but found it worse than delivering tbh. I don't remember any after pains.

BF was established just after 5pm and DP & I were left to meet our baby in peace. Was given tea & toast and allowed to have a bath (I didn't wash my hair :minger: as PFB fell out with little effort -don't hate me). She was absolutely tiny despite being a week over so MW went to SCBU to find us some teeny clothes - the newborn stuff we had was massive on her.

We were transferred to the post natal ward about 9pm, DP was allowed to stay as long as he wanted as long as he didn't disturb anyone else. Good luck OP!

Don't be afraid of the whole process all those of you who haven't done it yet! You really are so wrapped up in what your body is doing that you do loose all your inhibitions and don't really care who is doing what and where. After pains can last for a while afterwards and if breastfeeding you will have pains as your uterus contracts down in response to the oxytocin released by the suckling. You also still discharge for a while afterwards-I think everyone is different but for me I was still losing stuff up to 3 weeks afterwards. But it really isn't a horrendous procedure-if it were that bad we would all just have 1 child!

I think your experience afterwards depends on not only the hospital, but how busy it is too. After I gave birth at 4.30 in the afternoon, they stitched me while the dad held baby. I only had one stitch, which didn't hurt, but I had had an epidural. The midwives left us to it for about an hour. A midwife then arrived and weighed the baby, and she dressed her. It was lovely as they took her clothes to be warmed before she was born, it was funny to think that she would be in them shortly.

Baby, daddy and I then went to the bathroom with baby in the cot, and I had a bath. My partner had to wash me, but it was a very intimate time with just the three of us. I didn't get on to the postnatal ward until about 9pm in the end, and my partner stayed for about 40 mins. Then I was left alone really, unless I called for someone. I was so scared... Scared of having a haemorrhage and not realising, and scared that baby would stop breathing while I slept, so basically, I didn't sleep all night. The staff were amazing, but very busy. There were only two midwives and two auxiliary nurses for the whole ward... Including antenatal patients, women in labour and postnatal. I didn't change a nappy until the next day, they showed me how, and we changed baby in the cot. I went home after 2 nights, but only spend a night at home before going back as she was jaundiced, she had to go in an incubator under a phototherapy lamp. Despite this, my second experience was so much better, I had a private room so it was quiet, and I had LOADS of help learning to breast feed, as she had breast feeding jaundice so they really worked to get my milk supply up. I got to know them all and I was much happier and more peaceful second time around. I showered every day I was there, it felt so good!

I am rambling... My main things that you might find helpful:

• Make sure you are confident with the feeding before you leave. I wasn't.
• They are adamant that when your baby is latched on properly, it shouldn't hurt your nipples. Well my baby is now four months old and a huge chubster, and it still hurts.
• Bit graphic, but I was terrified of going to the toilet (bowel movement) after wards, I couldn't go for almost a week and was convinced I would fall apart when I did. They gave me a suppository and that did wonders, and I didn't fall apart :)

Thanks again for all the info ladies. Glad this thread has been useful to other first time mums too.

Again, just my experience but:

Midwife was AMAZING and looked after us all so well. Helped me to have a bath and get changed almost immediately after the birth (after breastfeeding/ weighing baby etc). Then I went to the ward in a wheelchair, they gave me tea and toast and told me when to next breastfeed the baby.

After I'd fed him again I had a shower and washed my hair, went for breakfast. I changed his nappy then tried changing his clothes, found it fiddly so called a nurse who helped me. She told me to call someone next time I breastfed to check if I needed support. It's really easy to tell when they are hungry (in my experience) as his mouth opens wide and he mews!

I was allowed home later that day, and a midwife came the following 2 days. Then they asked me when I would next like to be seen.

I had stitches and was unprepared for how much recovery is needed after the birth. I was in a lot of pain from the stitches, also back pain, and could hardly move for a few days. Definitely have a partner or someone staying with you as I needed mine to literally pass me the baby when he needed feeding. Also, the lochia is pretty horrible.

I took 2 baths a day with lavendar oil, and although I knew I should rest I found I really wanted to keep cleaning the house! Looking after the baby, for me, was easy. It was obvious when he was hungry or had a full nappy. Breastfeeding went well, although i know this can be really hard for some. The midwives give you loads of numbers to call if you need support.

I'm sure everyone is different, but personally I found the birth and the recovery much harder than I ever imagined, but the baby part very easy and a complete joy.

Good luck.

This is the kind of thread I wish I'd read before I gave birth so I would have known what to ask for.

I had a pretty crappy time immediately after my forceps delivery because I didn't know what should have happened and was too overwhelmed to ask.

Basically, ask for help, make sure you have a call button, and make sure your birth partner takes a picture of you with baby shortly afterwards.

Re stirrups - I had a huge fear of this and generally being exposed. I ended up with the full shebang. Was unpleasant but necessary. You can ask for minimal people to be involved and for maximum dignity. It wasn't the worst thing about giving birth!

Good luck all.

About 5 minutes after dd was born I was told to push for the placenta. I refused, I'd done with pushing thanks, so they injected me.
about 10 minutes after that I was told I'd torn badly and it was so painful I wouldn't let the mw inspect. She offered gas and air and I refused everything but cuddling dd.
About 10 minutes after that I was bombarded with an anaesthetist a consultant and another midwife who were all adamant I needed to go theatre for stitches. I ended up agreeing and passed my new little bundle to oh and they immediately brought a wheelchair.
sitting in the wheelchair being wheeled to theatre was the worst bit, I had to hover it was so painful.
I was in theatre for two hours, midwife came in repeatedly to tell me what dd was doing, she'd yawned and opened her eyes basically but I was fascinated.
I was then blissfully numb and wheeled to a side ward bit and two midwives helped me into a nightie and helped me breastfeed. Then they told me I couldn't go home as I couldn't feel my legs, and no OH wasn't going to carry me home. Then they shoved me full of toast and washed me over with baby wipes which I was really grateful for as I felt grotty as.
then I was wheeled to the ward where oh said goodnight and that was awful.
The ward was crying anxious mothers, crying babies and even though I was exhausted I couldn't sleep as the mw had buggered my drip up and I was being given pure ephedrine. Plus the light in my cubicle was broken and wouldn't turn off.
I didn't get breakfast as you had to get it yourself and I couldn't walk! I couldn't even pick up dd.
I did get a bath and a very nice mw helped me in and out, I had to be on all fours!
By the afternoon dd had had all her checks and I insisted on going home and by 6pm home I was, a full 24 hours after having dd.