How much warning second time?

[PastaandCheese]

DC#2 due next month. Last labour was 12 hours from first twinge to baby. I was at hospital for about 2 hours before DD was born.

People keep telling me the second will be much, much faster and I might struggle to make it up hospital. Two women in my family failed to make it to hospital with seconds so the idea of not making it is close to home for me.

What was your experience of 'warning' second time? I am mildly panicking because I need to organise DD and make a judgement call on when to get my friend over to look after her.

I am being ridiculous and allowing myself to be scared aren't I? Most people get a couple of hours of milder contractions first as a warning don't they even if the labour is much quicker overall.

I knew I was in labour ie baby later that day with no 2 but active labour very short, planned hb, mw just made it but had a very very distressing 60-90mins alone while we waited for her and dh still had dd1. In hindsight he should have taken her to abaeighbour, so I would advise plans a b and c for childcare x

Very bad timing re mw btw, just caught the shift change.

I had the squits second time around. It pretty much confirmed to me dd2 was on her way, and soon contractions would start.

With dd1 I had no sign, apart from being quite anxious that day, but nothing else to say I was going to give birth.

I had a show earlier in the day with my second so knew he'd be along imminently. Luckily I had that warning as labour was less than an hour. It was a planned homebirth - DD slept through it all. When the midwives arrived, I was 4cm and he was born 40 minutes later. Would you consider a homebirth? I'm sure he would have been born at traffic lights had I attempted to get to hospital!

I only made it to hospital with DS (second baby) because it was midnight. I was 8 days over, no real symptoms and then my waters went. He was born 1hr40min later, about 20min after we got to hospital. Traffic at rush hour in Oxford is horrendous, not a chance in hell we would have made it.

DD2 (baby 3) was planned to be a home birth, but ended up induced at 13 days over. She managed a whole 45 min from first contraction to delivery...

No. 4 (possibly) I'm sure will be a homebirth again!

OK, DS1, waters went, 6 hrs later contractions started, 10 hrs later I had a baby. I was at the hopsital about 3 hrs (they wanted to send me home when i got there)
DS2, 2.5 hrs from waters breaking on first contraction, to paramedics delivering him unexpectedly on the bathroom floor. We were very, very close (like, under a minute) to DH and 2 yr old DS1 delivering him.
As someone else has said, have an alternative childcare plan!

My first was 10 1/2 hours. Got to hospital 2 1/2 hours before he arrived.
Second. I had bleeding so got sent to hospital. She arrived in just under an hour!
Can you have a homebirth?
How close is your hospital? Could you all go in and your friend come in to collect DD?
Could a neighbour watch DD until your friend turns up?

Gah..... Not comforting but thank you anyway!

Friend is about 7 minutes drive away so say 15 mins by time she's got out house. Hospital is a good 20 minutes drive plus getting in car (not easy if I recall last time) plus parking, plus walking to labour ward.

It is going to be about 40-45 minutes from calling friend to getting there. Last time they then left me in the waiting room for quite some time too.

Grandmother gave birth in car, mother in bathroom. I can't afford to hang around once it gets going can I??

I have considered home birth a lot. I only had gas and air last time so pain wise I think I could do it but things went wrong last time with merconium in waters ending up with low forceps after 20 mins of pushing because DD was distressed and her heart rate was so low.

DD needed resuss and whilst I don't really remember that (my placenta came almost immediately after her and there was a lot of blood loss) DH was quite affected by the sight of her and took a lot of comfort from fact paediatrician was there and waiting.

For me I felt like a massive failure that I hadn't pushed harder in the time I had and it took me months to rationalise that. I'm very concerned that a home birth ending in a blue light trip for yet more merconion would bring back the feelings of failure before I'd even given birth this time if that makes any sense at all?

Oh, wolfiefan we've just moved but two neighbours are young pensioners and they are nice and have really taken to DD. They have their own grandchildren to stay a lot. I am sure if I knocked in an emergency they would watch her until my friend arrives but my friend isn't very far away anyway.

'young pensioners' I didn't mean that to sound so ageist. I just meant they are home a lot thank goodness.

Ah sorry if we made you more anxious. Your first time sounds very traumatic and perhaps your DH wouldn't be up for a homebirth. In which case I would just get going as soon as you feel anything happening and patrol the car park if they want to send you home. My homebirth was really chilled, a lovely experience but this was on the back of a very straightforward first birth at an MLU so i totally knew what i was in for. I can imagine you might be more reassured with docs around. Have a good chat with your midwife and see what she thinks but I really really wouldn't allow yourself to be sent home no matter how much time the labour ward thinks you have once things have begun!

No, you're just confirming what everyone says which is helpful!

Last time it was a case of 'stay at home as long as possible' but this time I think I need to be a bit swifter with getting to hospital.

All being well I'm down for the MLU this time and my hospital has just been placed in top 5 so I have no anxiety about going there. They were all lovely last time on the consultant bit too.

If I really wanted a home birth DH would support me but I don't want it badly enough to discount how he felt about the reassurance the whole team that were on hand for DD provided. He was so amazing in helping me process my feelings about last time that he absolutely must have a good say in how we do it this time.

That said if it all goes smoothly and there's a third I would love a homebirth.....

Advice I was given by midwife re swift labours is don't get in the car if you feel the urge to push. Instead call the labour ward or 999 and they'll talk you/DH through things on the phone while at the same time getting either a midwife or an ambulance out to you. It is better to avoid giving birth in car/at roadside if possible.

She said to have piles of clean towels around, leave door unlocked and if baby starts to arrive pant to minimise risk of tearing then wrap baby in a clean towel and hold it skin to skin till medical help arrives, the important thing is to keep baby warm, and don't worry about the placenta. The midwife may be able to deliver this at home and sort you all out at home if all is well, otherwise they'll transfer you and baby into hospital by ambulance.

I found it reassuring to know what to do in this situation - like you first labour was quick, still waiting on arrival of DC2 so no comparisons to offer.

DD1 - started at 6am and finally had her gone midnight.

DD2 - started at 8.30pm and she'd arrived by 11pm.

That sounds reasonable 2kidsintow.

That's helpful thank you lonesomeBiscuit. We are very close to the ambulance station as it happens so your advice makes a lot of sense.

I expect after all these nagging doubts and family history concerns it'll take forever and I'll be one of the few women who complain it took longer second time.