Big baby and forceps first time, but how was it second time around?

[learnasyougo]

I'm pregnant with baby #2 and am umming and ahhing about my birth options.

My first baby was a rather uncharitable ten and a half pounds. I was in labour for over 70 hours, 40 of which were in the hospital (needed the synto drip, in the end and for anyone interested, it did not make contractions more painful).

I had asked for plenty of time in the second stage on my birth plan, which was honoured. I pushed for three hours without success. DH (who had a peak at the business end) said that baby was so far up, and not budging at all, that he KNEW this baby wasn't going to come out soon. The obstetrician eventually said it'd have to be forceps.

And so it was, which went fine. Ten and half pounds of baby was pulled from me, baby was fine (albeit a bit of grazing from the forceps and mahoose bruise on his arm where he presumably had got stuck) but the episiotomy scar healed without issue and sex was never painful afterwards. As a result of the forceps, I now have a bladder prolapse and very poor continence and a lousy sex life (it's a bit like being impotent, but as a woman).

I'm keen to hear from others who had large babies and forceps deliveries on how their second go went. The midwife reckons I would be unlikely to have two forceps deliveries (I am terrified of sustaining more damage down there than I already have - obstetricians only care as far as the birth - the aftermath for the woman seems not to be on their radar). Would I be better off insisting on a c-section if baby fails to make progress down the birth canal? Maybe I'm worrying for nothing and the next one will be easy delivery. The size of baby seems to be a genetic thing (from DH's side of the family) so I'm likely to have another bumper baby.

DH is very keen for me to have an elective c-section. I think he's still traumatised by it all. He witnessed the whole thing, whereas I was so delirious from sleep deprivation and exhaustion I'd have signed a form to say they could remove my head if it meant getting the baby out.

In short, I'm petrified I'm going to have another forceps delivery and my poor lady parts are going to be in tatters and I'll be as continent as the newborn.

My first birth was similar to yours - 59 hours of induced labour, 4 hours pushing, episiotomy, shoulder dystocia, vontouse and a 10lb 5 baby at the end of it.
I was honestly traumatised.

My second labour - I refused induction, refused c section, (apparently according to scans I was expecting an 11lb baby) I did accepted 5 sweeps and finally went into spontaneous labour, 3 hour labour in hospital, 10 mins pushing, no stitches, 8lb baby. Home same day!

I personally would try for a natural if you feel comfortable doing so, I didn't want any intervention as I'm sure that's why my labour went so wrong the first time around. I'm so pleased I braved the natural birth again, I'm now pregnant again and having a home birth

In hospital now after 9lbs 13.5oz forceps baby, which was not caught by scans/mws, so left pushing for two hours.
Consultant said future children 'I strongly recommend CS, for the sake of your life' (3litre PPH).
So far had urinary and faecal incontinence (second poss due to fear and overdosing on lactose, as did not want constipation!) but stitches from episiotomy and internal tears are still v painful, so I'm putting it partly down to not being able to judge urges.

HumptyDumpty you're right not to worry too much about incontinence yet, after my third-degree tear they gave me lactulose in bulk as well as an antibiotic known for its laxative effect, with the delightful result that I couldn't control much down there for a few days. It got better quickly, though.

Aww humpty i sympathise, i had to have cathater in which was really sore everytime i moved. I felt so swollen from the episiotomy too, but I assure you it is amazing how much better you will feel in a few days. Us women are resilient, especially after child birth- its nature at is best! Hang on in there :)

I was the same as you with baby 1, and baby 2 looked on scans like she was heading to be a monster so I was given the choice of elective c-section at due date, or induction 2 weeks earlier. I went for the induction and it was blissfully easy. 2 hour birth, 9lb only (easy even though I am tiny), and, apparently, at a little early the babies are much bendier and pop out more easily. I really didn't want surgery so it was better for me than the c-section (i was also worried I might go into labour a day or two early and then it would be an emergency c-section). I did a fair amount of research and found that babies born a little early (not prem) have higher IQs and do very well as they don't go through the possible placenta gradually fading stage in utero. Apparently they also cry less too :-)

It was win, win, win all the way. Good luck. BTW this was quite a long time ago so thinking may have changed on the balance of risk/benefits.

all very reassuring.
having read of your experiences, I am now leaning towards a vaginal birth. I do have a prolapse and continence problems (urinary only, though) from my first delivery but I have read that c sections don't necessarily protect against them or further damage, either.

regarding the 'have them early' the thinking now is that 37 and 38 weeks are neither prem nor full term. a baby born spontaneously at 37 weeks is as healthy as 40weeker, but an induced one that early could have implications on their lung development. I guess it comes down to having your dates right (even dating scans aren't foolproof) and having faith that babies still solidly staying put really aren't fully cooked.

this time around I'm hoping for sweeps at 39 weeks (not 40+12, leading to a birth at 40+16).
having read of so many whose second births went easily (and not just comparatively to their traumatic first) makes me excited for the upcoming birth.

1st baby 7lb10 back to back 3 day labour with 1 day of syntocin heat rate dropped ventouse then forceps pushing 10 mins small? Tear no incontinence.
I am unsure with another child family history of back to back breech forceps etc as for us the baby didn't need to be big to be a problem. If allowed I would prefer the Cs actually think it could be cheaper for nhs as in hospital labour so long own midwife and then infection jaundiced baby in hospital about another 4 days . Longer than the Cs people.
I was mums 2nd and she needed forceps for me 6lb after my sister breech. I no longer think I can escape the family history.

first baby, 10lb4 oz....almost emergency section, just not making any progress, but he was hauled out with forceps...small scuff on his wee cheekbone.

Helpfully (do sense my utter sarcasm here) it was not until I presented as pregnant the second time the phrase Shoulder Dystocia was mentioned...that was obviously why I had had such problems with ds1's delivery.

However...dd came along 3 years later, I was induced 2 weeks early, she was predicted to be large, but was a mere 8lbs 8oz and no difficulties at all, couple of stitches

AND then ds2 another 2 years later, again, induced early and he was 10lb 8 oz but popped out like a pea! :D ....just a couple of stitches there too, which the midwife spent longer wondering about than actually doing.

This does give me hope. Thank you.

I thought I would update you as my lb was born on Saturday. Despite all the effort in staying mobile to help him come out and despite writing on my birth plan absolutely no forceps, I ended up with another forceps delivery. This was due to the fact that his heart rate kept dropping during pushing. Suddenly there were lots of agitated people in the room, they put a cap on his head to take hearth rate and they took a blood sample from his scalp. They told me there was no time to waste and that the best thing was attempt forceps and if they did not work it will have to be an emergency csection but that would be dangerous for both of us as baby was very low and forceps was preferable. At that point I couldn't so anything but give my consent and forceps delivery it was. However the registrar was excellent, it took great care of pulling the baby out slowly and I ended up with no tears at all and only a few stitches for the episiotomy. I feel absolutely fine, only a bit bruised but no incontinence or other issues. recovery was much quicker than after the first forceps divery and the third devree tear. I am glad I avoided csection as the recovery would have been much longer. Good luck to you whatever you chose I hope all goes well for you.

I had forceps with an admittedly smaller baby than yours (8lb 14oz, with a 37cm head), large episiotomy and post partum haemorrhage. Second birth was a world away from that. Baby was a pound and a half lighter, still quite large of head, but born after 2 hours of labour and 10 minutes of pushing. I had a 2nd degree year but it was fine. I was in the shower and dressing myself within an hour and home the next morning, compared to having been laid up catheterised and immobile for 2 days first time. Recovery was much easier too.

I know lots of people who, like me, have had lovely second and third births after rotten experiences first time. But given your lasting problems down there I would want to talk this through in some detail with HCPs before making a choice if I were you.

Good luck

Forceps first time, normal delivery second time round. All fine.

Dd1 - 8lb2oz very similar labour to yours. Foreceps and episiotomy. Was horrible.
Dd2 - 9lb2oz. Textbook natural birth. Was dreading it but it went really well. Wouldn't go quite as far as to say I enjoyed it, but I'm still buzzing about it 4 weeks later!

First labour - average sized baby but back to back. This wasn't recognised by the midwife until well into labour (actually had one of them examine me & say "I can feel a fontanelle but I don't know which one hee hee ). As a result I was in very painful active labour for about 14 hours, pushed for 2 hours (midwives were waiting for doc to come out of theatre & examine me again ) then promptly whisked off to theatre for a try at a forceps delivery and cs if not. Baby finally delivered by forceps & I had episiotomy. Recovery was fine, but I was totally exhausted for about a week.

Second time round was very scared about baby being back to back again - so spent most of last few weeks of labour watching tv on hands & knees! In the end I started in labour on my due date, so much better than the first time - 12 hours start to finish & pushed him out in about 30 mins with only a small graze.

Take heart that the 2 labours couldn't have been more different & left me feeling so totally different afterwards as well.

First baby 9lb 1oz, awful 19 hour labour, ventouse delivery and second degree tear which needed stitches.... Second baby 8lb, 15 minute labour, two pushes and delivered by OH on my bathroom floor....
I'm now pregnant with twins and have no idea what will happen

Big back to back baby forceps ventouse first time, lovely simple water birth second time