Saw a thread the other day about people not telling people their correct ELCS date and thought it was bonkers- my family would be fine knowing. How wrong could I have been?!
So ELCS booked for Friday. Hospital rules- birth partner (Husband) can be present at all times, 2 other people max visiting hours only. Visiting is 3-5.30 and 7-8.30.
Decided with OH that we would allocate half of the evening slot to each set of parents as we don't know if I will even be done by the afternoon slot or could only just be back on ward etc and won't want people around, plus I want some time for just us and baby. I thought this seemed fair and logical as the hospital is an hour away and if both sets of parents turn up together or whatever and end up waiting outside which seems a waste of their time. Friends/extended family could come from sat onwards of their own accord but wanted the Friday scheduled.
Last week I mentioned to my mum that visiting is strict 2 max so she can come at 7. She asked when visiting was so I told her. She then asked why she couldn't come in the afternoon so I explained I didn't know if I would even be done by then and if I was would probably have only just been put back on the ward and need to recover. Her response- "I'm coming to see the baby- not you." Well cheers for that then. I said obviously if I get done really early I'll call but it made sense to at least arrange the evening. She said that was ok and I think she is alright with it.
On the weekend we saw OH's parents and I reminded him to let his mum know they could come at 7.45 as it was 2 visitor max policy. (The reason for my mum first btw is because OH's mum works until 6.30). His mum spent the rest of the evening looking really upset and not speaking (she does this occasionally but will never actually talk to anyone). When we left I jokingly asked him how he upset her and he said when he informed her she could come at 7.45 she said "don't you want company for the day." I asked him if he informed her that he would be with me all day and that no one else was allowed in until visiting and he said yes but he probably didn't word it quite right and she probably thinks she's not wanted rather than not allowed. Not that I would want either of our mum's with us all day if they were allowed!!
I thought my mum's response was bad enough but I can't fathom why OH's mum would expect to be at the hospital all day. She hadn't even asked us running up to then what the plans were or anything. I told OH to invite his mum to visit then so she knew she was allowed to visit and things didn't have to be arranged on the day so to speak.
Well done if you have managed to read this far. Basically why I am posting is I now need any words of wisdom/ magic tricks/ excuses you people have used to not offend well meaning parents who we don't want around 24/7. Or should I just screw it and offend them and let them deal with it??