C-section help

[Juno77]

I've just returned from an antenatal appointment. I mentioned that at the booking appointment, the MW I saw said I would hear from a consultant regarding my decision to have an ELCS, and I hadn't heard yet (I am now 24 weeks).

Today's MW said that she would make me an appointment, which is scheduled for when I am 36 weeks (seems a bit close..) and there is no guarantee the consultant will 'authorise' the ELCS.

Does anyone know what I can do? I've looked into private but we are a million miles away from being able to afford that, sadly.

Can they just refuse? Leave me to labour and have a VB? What will happen?

Sorry was away picking DS up from school.

soontobe It won't be harder for me, trust me. I have thought and researched and I have made my choice. Thanks for being concerned though. I do have a medical need, it's just not a physical medical issue.

Thanks for linking red - probably should have done that!

Slinky - yes, apparently when you call up they tell you which hospital to go to. I assume whichever one is less busy/has space? I should find out within 24 hours (for an ELCS).

red - Um, I don't know the answer to that. The MW said the consultant comes to the practice though, so I assume they work for all the hospitals? No idea.

Hope you get the birth you want, I am pregnant with twins and desperate to avoid a c section.

Juno, I'm currently on this conveyor belt to get an elcs. I had a traumatic about with my PFB that resulted in emcs, and a severe haemorrhage and bowel failure. However, luckily I recovered well physically. My head, sadly not so well and I had PND and am now in second pregnancy seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety.

I too requested the elcs from the 8 week booking appointment but regardless of how many times I repeat my request have found myself on this route to VBAC. I have had to attend a VBAC clinic to be patronised about why VB is better for the baby (stuff I already knew, ie lungs and breathing probs). At one point I was assigned a 1-1 midwife for 'extra support' during a VB birth. Most midwives I spoke to focused only on VBAC with me and wouldn't discuss elcs in detail.

I'll be honest, I've nearly lost my mind with the anxiety over this. I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy at all for worrying about going through a VBAC, with high level of monitoring a high risk of another emcs or forcep birth. I've been signed off from work with anxiety after having panic attacks. It is no joke how much this can affect you.

Finally, after breaking down (again) to a midwife, they said I could see the consultant earlier than he would normally 'entertain' it at 28 weeks. Like you I had been told throughout that there was no guarantee that he would agree to the elcs due to there being no physical reason as to why I cannot labour efficiently this time round. I was supposed to wait until 34 weeks before I could discuss it with him and a decision would be made.

However, when he saw me at 28 weeks, he was marvellous. Agreed straight away to the elcs, was cross that I hadn't been referred to him sooner and reassured me that I would not have to have a birth experience I did not choose. He bemoaned the woeful under preparation of pregnant women by the NHS and society - especially where intervention, and c-sections are concerned. He was wonderful. He listened to me. And then he agreed to the elcs.

I still have to return at 34 weeks to have my op 'booked in' but the relief of knowing it has been agreed has lifted so much of the anxiety and I finally feel in control and can enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

I really hope that you get the same result.

Soontobesix - your comment is very patronising. Elcs is NOT a decision women make easily or flippantly. We are fully aware that it is abdominal surgery that comes with its own pitfalls. I wish the stigma of 'too posh to push' would be eradicated. It is immensely unhelpful to women having to navigate the system.

Fantastic That was an awful story, with a really uplifting silver lining.

Thank you for sharing; I am sorry that you had to go through that (and sorry for us both that I can relate..) but so glad you got the outcome we both desire.

I find it hard, as I think you do, when people can be so patronising about it. That's the problem - as if as a 32 year old educated mother, I had decided on an ELCS without realising it was major surgery . I am not an idiot.

Your consultant sounds good though. So, would my best bet be to see the MW again (have an appointment in 6 weeks anyway) and just tell them there and then that I need to see someone ASAP?

Juno, I've got an ELCS agreed in principle due to anxiety prior to getting pregnant and have been told they will book it in asap rather than make me wait. Hopefully they will keep their word...

I wrote to consultant directly at my hospital. Unfortunately this letter went walkies and I heard nothing back. So I went through my GP who referred me. Consultant did say at the appointment that if he had got the letter he would have arranged an appointment.

So if you are having problems with midwives gatekeeping and obstructing, it is definitely worth trying another route to bypass them as it is possible at least south of the border to do that. I can't see any reason why it wouldn't be possible in Scotland.

I have to say, it does seem to be a pattern on mumsnet where midwives or more junior staff trying to put women off seeing a consultant only for the consultant to be brilliant.

Fantastic I wasn't being patronising just offering a different view. It is hard looking after a baby after a c section. But obviously it may be worth it.

And no where did I say the op was too posh to push do not put words into my mouth.

You are still being patronising. I wasn't putting words into your mouth either, I was saying that it is that attitude that women who request elcs have not thought it through properly, and are making the decision flippantly, that stigmatises it as a birth choice. think, just possibly, that having been through one birth already that Juno KNOWS that it will be hard to look after a baby post birth, regardless of what birth she has. I am yet to see a VB thread on here with comments like yours ie "it's hard to recover from with a newborn" - which of course if you take into consideration third/fourth degree tears, intervention etc can easily be applied to VB. I am also yet o see a thread on here about elcs where one smart Alec doesn't pop up with one sort of comment about 'it's SERIOUS abdominal surgery, you know'. Sheesh.

Given that you are keen to avoid a section I'm at a loss why you feel so keen to post on a thread requesting info and help obtaining an elcs, when the OP is quite clear that she has made the decision that she wants one. There wasn't a debate here about whether to have one or not. As the OP eloquently said, she (and I actually) us a 32 year old woman making an informed choice about the birth that she wishes to have. Informed, which of course means that at the very least she will have considered the need for support post birth.

Am in Scotland too but system not like OPs - you are asked which of the local hospitals you wish to have your baby in. I stated from early on (for different reasons each time) that I wanted a cs. Had it put in writing (need a consultant to sign form) from 2nd trimester each time. Sorry you are having such difficulties OP.

SoonToBeSix I did think the question about 'Why do you want a c section do you have a medical need?' could be taken badly. I'm glad you followed it up with 'I hope you get the birth you want'.

I think people are very sensitive about asking for an ELCS and the need to justify it. I don't think anyone needs to justify it as such.

I think it can be helpful to ask what reasons someone has for an ELCS, but it has to be framed carefully. Many people don't regard fear or anxiety as a valid reason which is part of the problem.

I can understand why someone has picked up on what you'd said, but I think you didn't mean what you said badly after what you said.

I suspect you actually have a bit of sympathy if you are having twins. Would I be right in saying you are feeling pressured to go down a medicalised route, which is what your fears are based on when you'd rather have a VB? (I assume you've already got 4 kids from your name and most likely they were VBs).

Just seen Red's brilliant advice on your other thread Juno and its so thorough I don't have much more to add other than to echo the referral to the Perinatal mental health team (via GP perhaps) ASAP, and push for a consultant appointment ASAP. Fight for what you want and need to have, like Red says.

Good luck. Will think of you

Thank you, all, I really feel a lot better after this today.

So, would I make an appointment with my GP and just ask them to refer me to someone? Would I have to tell GP about my fears/anxieties etc?

Or should I just wait until my next MW appointment? DH isn't keen on me waiting, he thinks we should call tomorrow.

When I said I was nervous about going into labour and getting to hospital and them maybe saying no, he said 'I will find a surgeon and tell them - someone is getting cut open in this room, and I suggest you choose her as it isn't going to be me'.

If you went to the GP you would tell them how anxious you are and how much it is affecting you (and also how you feel you are being ignored by midwife).

Or you could wait til your next appointment.

It is ENTIRELY up to you.

if your husband is supporting you thats great. I think if he is suggesting that waiting is a bad idea, I think you should listen to him though. He knows what you are going through, and I get a bit of impression that you feel a nuisance and don't want to make a fuss despite how much this is making you anxious.

No don't wait for mw appointment. It clearly isn't working going through the midwife, so try something else.

Red you are completely right - I hate making a fuss or complaining about anything.

I will give the MW a week so I don't seem too entitled (!) and then I will call them and ask.

I think DH is just concerned because he is so worried about what happened to me before and he can see how anxious I get about this.

Juno, sorry if I am repeating myself here, but you are not being entitled. It is not entitled to seek help for anxiety. Anxiety is an illness. If you had a physical problem that was affecting you this much during your pregnancy would you think twice about seeking help?

You need to get into your head that how you are feeling is important and isn't silly in anyway. You have a RIGHT to support and you are being let down by the midwives who are treating you right now. They should be taking any women who is telling them that they are extremely anxious or depressed seriously and helping them get the support they need rather than telling them to wait 12 weeks.

The situation you are in now IS unacceptable. You have every reason to pursue it without feeling guilty in anyway. If your husband is saying to get help now, listen to him. He has to live with you now and is dealing with your anxiety too. Its affects him and how he is feeling. He is probably extremely anxious too.

I just wanted to cheer on thefantasticfixit. I want to put your post on a tshirt and waggle my boobs at people the next time they patronise me about my decision!

Red I wish you were my midwife. Or doctor, or anyone actually.

I know it isn't silly, you are right. It's hard to believe when I also know it is all in my head and actually, a VB won't kill me. It will ruin my mind though and probably ruin my chances of actually enjoying this baby, and that is something I am so keen to preserve as I missed out on that with DS.

But I do feel precious and don't want to make a fuss.

I will take your advice. I will call the MW today.

Juno, to be honest this isn't actually about whether you end up with a vb or an ELCS. Its about the fact that you had a birth that you felt was traumatic and how thats effecting you now. You are anxious and its causing you to have panic attacks. You deserve support and help on how to deal with that. Its perfectly possible that if you get that support, you might feel better about it all and opt for a vb in the end. You might still want an ELCS. But if you are being let down and not given that support, as you say, you are going to spend the next 3 month in a right state and thats not good for you or the baby.