Giving birth alone

[Serafinaaa]

DP and I have just started TTC and are hoping that it will happen quickly. However, he does a job which often takes him away from home, sometimes for a long time, and he can't always get out of it (forces). This year is going to be a pretty busy one for him, and we've thought and thought about whether to delay TTC, but there's no way of knowing how long it will take, if things will go well etc.

But, if I was to get pregnant, there is a reasonable chance that he would miss the birth. My family also live a long way away so not much chance any of them could be there either. I could ask a friend, but Im quite a reserved person and I don't have a particular friend I would be comfortable asking. So what I wanted to ask was: did anyone give birth without anyone they knew there? Was it ok?

Would you consider a doula? They're professional birthing partners. No personal experience mind. Would be good to have someone their to advocate for you. Best of luck ttc!

I think that's an idea actually... I wonder what the cost is and whether, if we were lucky enough to conceive, I'd be able to book one 'just in case'?! Thanks

doula.org.uk

I had DP with me each time I gave birth & on both occasions (one a 48hr saga involving every intervention bar a c-sec and the other a 25min two push G&A job) the most useful thing he did was get me drinks, pass me stuff from my hospital bag (admittedly only relevant with DC1 when I was attached to the drip & epidural so couldn't move) & leave the room to find a MW when we thought it was necessary & to hit the emergency call button when DC2 began to appear. DP has commented that I really needed a butler! So psychologically it didn't make much difference to me but it did in terms of practical help so, yes, I think you should have someone in with you. Unfortunately, you can't know how busy the labour ward will be so can't know how much care there will be from a MW. With DC1, I had 1:1 care but she still left the room occasionally to get a drink or go to the loo or if the emergency button went in another drlivery room. With DC2, I had two MW in with me but projectile vomited over both & it was in the few minutes after they'd left to get changed & their colleague came to check on me that DC2 began to appear.

Thanks, I've done some googling and found local doulas so I guess that's an option if and when the time comes!

I gave birth to ds1 alone... The birth was quicker than expected and dh was 5 hours drive away (also was in forces). i ended up calling an ambulance to take me in as things moved very fast. They let him leave as soon as i was in labour so he arrived just after ds1 was born. I didnt mind being on my own as i was lucky enough to have a quick uncomplicated birth.
Is he likely to be "away" away or just working away from home and would be able to come back once youre in labour? Or any chance of timing things so he'd be around at due date time on leave etc.

Unfortunately it's possible he'll be pretty much as far away as it's physically possible to be - the Falklands! Although if he's at 'home' it's about 3 hours drive. I'm not sure whether tours are ever changed or shortened due to pregnancies... we are new to all this, but don't want to let it rule our lives too much.