Sex after childbirth

[Xmas2013MN1543]

I'm a regular but cba changing back to my old name because I'm on my phone and it's damn hard.

DC1 was born 3 weeks ago. Had a 2nd degree tear and stitches and I'm really worried about having sex with dh again. Where I was stitched up, I now have a weird flappy bit of skin that just looks (and feels) awful. I'm also worried about being "looser" than I used to be. Can someone please tell me that I'm worrying about nothing? Or share your experience? (Obviously not the gory details, I'm not some weird troll).

It'll be fine. Just give yourself a chance to heal and it'll go back to normal. Pelvic floor exercises are your friend. Dd was born 2 weeks ago and even though I only had a small tear I can feel a weird flappy bit of skin which is slowly disappearing. I had a second degree tear with ds and it all healed up fine and was no looser than I ever was. Again pelvic floor exercises are your friend. Do them religiously. Oh and when you do have sex a glass of wine, lube and take it slowly.

Not quite the same but DD was ventouse and had a double episiotomy and more stitches than I care to remember! Was sore for a long time and not really interested in sex, not helped by breast feeding, but when we did next DTD there were no issues at all - certainly no looseness!

And what Quiet said :)

That's reassuring, thank you.

After my first I think I was too quick (for me) to get 'back to normal' and although it didn't hurt, it wasn't as good and I was so disappointed. It got better, though! After my second, I allowed myself a lot more healing time and it was absolutely worth the wait.

How long did you wait, posters ?

With ds I think we waited about 6 months. I just was not interested and had quite a few problems after his birth. Dd is only 2 weeks old and I'm definitely waiting at least 6 weeks as I'm so knackered. And constantly breastfeeding and still bleeding at the mo anyway. Wll see how I feel after that. Will probably be quicker this time as feel a lot better than I did after ds.

my DS was born with forceps and I had an episiotomy and stitches which also got infected I didn't have sex for 7 weeks after due to a mixture of soreness/exhaustion/breastfeeding. my DH was great about it and waiting until I said I was ready to try. first time was very sore inside and where my scar was, and so for the next couple of months didn't do it much! but 7 months later all back to normal, no pain, and DH says it feels just the same as before the birth, no looseness!

I would just say take your time, and do it when you feel ready and comfortable. and if it hurts, wait a little bit before trying again

With DC1 I just had a minor tear and no stitches and we managed to DTD just before my 6 wk check and it was fine. Hope it goes ok for you,, make sure you dont put too much pressure on yourself and just go with what feels right for you x

It was at least 6 months before we dtd again. I remember the midwife offering me condoms 5 days post partum and me laughing in her face. I think I said 'believe me, nobody's going anywhere near there for a long while!'

My DS (first baby) was born 12 weeks ago. We first had sex again about 6 weeks after birth. It did feel weird and still does a bit because of where the stitches were (two tears and episiotomy) but it isn't painful and DH assures me I haven't got the "wizard's sleeve" I was worried about!!

Don't worry at all. I posted the very same thing as you this time last year, when DH and I had sex 9 weeks after birth, bad 2nd degree tear. It was awful, I was gaping open, neither of us could feel anything.

Give it time and lots of pelvic floor exercises! 14 months on everything is back to normal. No, I'm not as tight as I was pre-baby - but I was sometimes uncomfortably tight - but sex in all positions is fully enjoyable. I had pain upon entry at the site of my tear until about 8 months post partum.

I thought this time last year I was going to have to go to Thailand for fanny surgery honestly it's fine now! My scar is very noticeable, and I appear slightly more open, IYSWIM, but that's it.