The first 6 weeks - how did you cope?

[firstimer30s]

Would love to hear any tips/ advice on getting through the first six weeks. Am 30 wks and a first-timer but am told by many mums that this is an extremely hard phase. Any tips at all appreciated!

Sorry that seems random, I just thought most of the big stuff was covered. Good luck!

Practical advice:
Don't dress baby in "clothes/outfits" let them live in babygrows until 5/6 months old.
They wash & dry well, don't need ironing, are cheap & not fussy once on.
Clothes ride up, and are a pain.

Some days you will have bone drenching utter exhaustion, on those days, stay indoors in your pjs and snuggle on the sofa.

Never sit down without a bottle of water, tv remote, phone & snack within reach.

Feel free to ignore all advice, at the end of the day you really just get on with it. You have to. You find your own way.
You'll survive.

Best way to get thru it is to imagine you also have a toddler. Then u will feel much better!

Good luck. Lovely times ahead. I didn't find the first weeks dreadful at all, and dd was a Velcro baby who you couldn't put down.

My advice would be to parent the baby you have rather than a baby in a book/someone else's baby. If your baby doesn't like being put down you will drive yourselves to an early grave if you parent him/her as if s/he were one of those babies that is quite happy to lie in their cot and look about them.

I've had one of each. Dd spent early weeks in a sling and in bed with me. DS was much more easy going and sat on his own in a bouncy chair observing proceedings.

They're all different.

don't compare you and your baby to others. take each day as it comes. your baby will cry for hunger and for company so enjoy the cuddles. remember they can't see much and the only comfort they have is your smell and your voice.

I always made sure I showered and dressed as it made me feel like i was on top of it even if that was all i did.

my dd is almost 11 months old and i went back to work today. I envy you and all you've got to come.

Keep a changing bag packed and the pram (including blankets) assembled and ready to go if possible.

I spent the first 6 months Weeks sat on the sofa, bfing or just letting ds sleep on my shoulder. I read a lot. In the early days dh used to leave me a clingfilmed plate of sandwiches in the morning and my aim was to have got that out of the fridge and refilled my water bottle again to have for lunch by 12. We also coslept when necessary (look up safe cosleeping guidelines) and ate food friends had brought or I'd batch-cooked before ds was born.

Its tough but manageable if you take pressure off yourself.

Easy Answer, GET THIS COT.

www.mumsnet.com/reviews/nursery/cots-cribs-cotbeds/9963-arms-reach-universal-co-sleeper-bedside-cot

I coped, and after a section because unlike the first time round with our moses basket, I was able to have a better and more un disturbed sleep!

This was possible because the baby had a smoother transfer from a cot directly beside me to me, to feed. No sitting up or lifting up and out.

She also slept better as she was right by my head.

I slept too, as it was easier to put her back in it, when soooo incredibly tired, and I Knew I could fully relax and sleep, as I was not going to squash her!

I have two children and by far, far far far far THE BEST money I have ever spend on anything child related was THIS COT.

I got mine for about £70 on preloved and am very confident I will be able to sell it on for a good re sale price.

You will probably get sucked into the horrid retail curse and spend £100's on a push chair....please do youself a favour and get this cot ( or one like it!)

Good luck firsttimer ! - I have a 7 week old and this week I feel like I am emerging from a 6 week fog so have read this thread with interest. It's really made me think about the last few weeks and what we have learnt.
Try to take on the pieces of advice (and you will get a LOT - even I'm doing it now!) that fits in with your instincts and to try to ignore the rest so you don't get stressed out. Same with ideas about routine and schedule from books and the internet.
The best thing I've ever been told was my lovely health visitor who said that babies know what they need and they know what they want to be looked after properly, after all, they have done it for themselves for 9 months in the womb, so take the time to get to know your baby by having lots of cuddles and doing what they want and when for a while. She told me that newborns are too young to learn bad habits and there's plenty of time for routine later.

I have still spent nights poring over the baby whisperer in tears looking for a magic sleep trick but at seven weeks she is starting to sleep and feed more efficiently. Im starting to realise that babies will work things out when they are old enough and ready to and not before and all the shhh-patting in the world won't change that!
Sorry, this isn't very practical advice (my best buys have been a caboo close sling, white noise phone app and a breast feeding pillow!). Above all, prepare for things to change on a daily basis and to be completely overwhelmed! I have felt overwhelming happiness, pride (in her and myself), hopelessness, love, exhaustion, nostalgia for my old life, frustration and contentment and sometimes all at once!

Some good advice here already. Ds is 11 weeks. Sleep when you can. Trust your instincts. Get easy food in (I've been living on toast basically for 11 weeks, oh and tea and biscuits) Don't expect too much in the way of a routine and one day you will realise their patterns. Also be prepared to spend a lot of time snuggled on the sofa watching This Morning, feeding and getting to know your baby. If you can get out and about I recommend a local children's centre. I've found it really helpful to chat to other mums and have a reason to get up and out. Try and keep on top of baby's washing (nothing worse than running out of baby grows). You can never have enough muslins

Ooh yes and if you plan to bf I second a bf pillow, it changed our life!

Not really practical advice as that has been covered well already, but I just wanted to say that in the first few weeks (for us, at least) every day was different. And that was fine. There were days when it seemed she did nothing but feed, swiftly followed by days where she slept all day. Same with night feeds. Don't worry if you feel you're going 'backwards' :)

Thanks all, that's really good advice

If your DH is any good at DIY then the ikea cot can be manually adjusted to be the same height as your bed and wedged up against it to form a cheap version of all the co-sleeper type cots. When dd went into her own room etc we just raised/lowered it as necessary.

Will your DH be home by 6pm ish?? If so get him to do dinner. Some babies get super fussy in the evenings - like dd - and I was literally glued to the sofa between about 5pm and 8pm.

First time around was pretty easy for me. My partner was around a lot mom came and left early said we needed no help she felt useless. I slept at the same time as baby and was pretty easy because she was easy.
Second time wow it was crazy even with moms helping. My partner had busy schedule this time around and I felt a bit alone. With 2 kids often it fell like I will rip to pieces, nightmare. My mom did not leave early this time. But like others said you just cope. You might need have a little cry but that just hormones really. You will be fine. My biggest advice is dont worry what others think, if your house is a mess it's just us. I tend to my children first and then worry about the mess. But with one baby you will find your balance pretty quick unless the baby is not easy. My second one does not sleep during the day much and it is a challenge.

I honestly don't remember the first 6 weeks being that difficult. I had an EMCS, home on day 3, DH on paternity leave for 2 weeks in total. 13 yr old nice came to stay with us from weeks 1-7 to "help" (she was good if you asked her very specifically to do something but otherwise a typical teenage lump on the sofa).

Things that surprised me most:

• I felt like I was ALWAYS breastfeeding.
• I was late for everything / rarely managed to get out the door before noon.
• Babies don't follow routines just because you'd like them to.

Tips for enjoying the first 6 weeks:

• Get out of the house every single day for a walk, rain or shine.
• Try to make plans to see other adults as often as you can manage, take advantage of the early days when you can still enjoy a nice chat in a coffee shop or a stroll through the shopping centre with a sleeping baby.
• I wouldn't necessarily call it setting expectations low, but do be flexible and prepared for the unexpected.
• Always carry 2x spare clothes and tons of nappies with you, it's amazing how many times they can blow in the space of an hour.

14 week old here . Haven't read through all but my lifesavers were:

Mumsnet (very kind advice bf etc)
Don't try too hard, go with the flow
Have storage systems in place, changing station, supply if nappies
Label maker to use on storage boxes as gifts arrive sort by age
White noise
I wish I had mixed fed a little earlier than I did to be honest
Mini medella pump
Lots of biscuits tea bags for visitors
Batch cook loads and buy microwave rice
Put everyday even to post a letter
Get some nice clothes you will want to get out of maternity I get loose but few pretty tops and cardis are great as bf cover
Don't fallout with dh or dp. Be friends to each other
iPad mini is my friend
Good camera and upload photos to picture website to make photobooks . Not essential but will make you smile
White plain babygro's are all you need for the first two months

Oh yes get the huge bibs and put a plastic backed one tucked inside vest too.

Be gentle on yourself, sleep when you get the opportunity, sod the cleaning, and take any help offered. You'll be fine. You just drift round in a daze for a bit, but its a lovely daze. Oh, and if you get stiches or a graze, then put your hands on the floor when you go to the loo. This will save you much distress and time running the bath to wee. But those first few weeks with a new baby are amazing. Write a letter to your baby. Maybe write a letter to yourself. Take many photos and enjoy.

Thanks for the responses. Mrswelly, what would you do differently re mixed feeding and why? (Sorry am a first timer and don't know much about it!)

For me, I found bf hard and think if I expressed more in the early stages and used one formula bottle in the evening, I wouldn't have given up so soon (six weeks)
Very hungry baby. That was the hardest thing for me, constant feeding. But I think I will know more next time and bf is more natural. I don't think the formula agrees with him as much.

Yes bfing is relentless in the first few weeks - dd was a bit jaundice and the mw's told me to feed her every 3 hours (which you time from the beginning of each feed, not from the end of each feed). I'd set the timer on my phone and it would never get to 3 hours - dd was wanting a feed before that!! Oh and each feed could last best part of an hour in those early days so not much let up in between.

A couple of things helped me through that:

1 - someone said "enjoy every moment" which I've really listened to and saw even the night feeds as a special moment.

2 - I just accepted it as my job to be there for a feed whenever my baby needed it. One of my Nct friends really struggled with that and would email us saying "argh, ds is up every 3 hours feeding in the night" and we were all a bit like "yes so is mine, isn't that what they do?" And our friend was v relieved to hear the same but lAter admits to wanting to be the one with the baby that slept through from day 1!

3 - learn to feed lying down. You barely have to wake up and you get a lovely cuddle. Put a muslin down though as there will be dribbles!!

Highly recommend a 'Babymoon' or two/three days when you don't get out of bed or get dressed but just hang out with baby and do as much skin to skin/BF as possible. It's magical. So so calming and confidence building.

I heard a lot about 'healthy nutritious snacks' while establishing breastfeeding. Tosh and nonsense. You want calories. Chocolate. cakes. crisps. Full fat milk. Cream. Coke. I'd get through four snickers and feel peckish. FWIW the baby weight went all the same.

Accept help. I did nothing but breastfeed the first six weeks and it was knackering. Lovely, but knackering.

Get a back-lit e-reader and a smartphone.

Nightlights are v useful for not waking baby up completely while feeding.

Oh God yes, lying down feeding saved my life.

Easier than i expected - DS is nearly 2 and harder work now than when a baby. He was a really easy baby but demanding toddler.

We're fairly laid back, didn't have a clue about babies and just muddle through. Honestly - found the baby days easier than working.

Congratulations and good luck. I'm very jealous of the squidgy baby you're getting soon!

Give yourself permission to feel however you feel at the time you feel it. You may get lucky and feel blissed out on a love rush, and want to enjoy every minute or you may feel like projectile crying. Both are ok and neither is a reflection on your ability to mother (and enjoy mothering) in the long term.

Swaddles can work wonders at calming overwrought littlies and wrap over vests that don't chafe umbilical stumps or.involve you pulling a poo filled baby grow over a wobbly newborn head are v good.too. Also get some.long.handled cloth bags and fill with snacks and drinks near wherever you intend to bf (if that's what you intend to do). You will be starving and vvv thirsty if bf-ing and is hard to move if your baby is a slow feeder (can be an hour or more) so being able to easily reach food and drink without dislodging baby who has taken awhile to get latch right is a boon. Getting some funny talking books on iPod can also.help pass time.

Oh and many babies are totally fascinated by the washing machine if you need five mins to sit and eat or something. Place bouncer.in front of spin cycle but not for too long unless you want totally overstimulated bubba!

Amazing tips! Thanks all! Ok, so food and drink to hand, low expectations/ no expectations in terms of getting out and about....got it! Have bought some pretty PJs in preparation and plan to just go with the flow....not aiming for anything but feeding baby and hibernating with it for first 6 weeks. If I manage more, it'll be a bonus