Scared of second labour

[arabella2]

I am due in 4 weeks and have one ds who is 2 and 3 months old. I suppose the one good thing about labour the first time is that you didn't really know what to expect. This time I do though. Did anyone find their second time labour suprisingly easier? I thought there had already been a thread about this but could not find it. I suppose the thing which most worries me is the loss of control.

2nd labour for me was much much MUCH easier. DS2 was an unplanned homebirth as it was quite fast(not trying to scare you more) and I just had to go with the flow, whereas with DS1 I kind of fought against it.
I remembered the breathing exercises from antenatal with DS1 and only needed a TENS machine for pain relief. I had a epidural with DS1.
Honestly it was so much easier than the first time and I was so proud of myself to have done it on my own. DS3 was even easier!

There was a thread about this but I can't find it, either!
Anyway, I was terrified of my 2nd labour, and it was astonishingly easy (2 hours from 3cm "Am I in labour?" to baby, only about 45 minutes of that were 'bad', and that was partly because we had limited Entenox). Not to promise your 2nd will be easy, too, but the odds are it will be a lot easier.

I didn't exactly feel "in control" 2nd time 'round, but having done it before I could recognise things and feel less overwhelmed by them -- when I had niggly contrax for days, well, best to ignore them until they became too annoying. When my legs didn't want to support me any more through contrax, that probably meant real labour not just niggles. When I got to feeling "I can't take this any more!" I thought it probably meant I was almost there. When I nearly threw up? That meant transition. And then I got this pressure bearing down, it was horrible painful but it also told me that baby arrival was imminent.

arabella i was absolutely terrified trought out my whole second pregnancy i even burst into tears when i got to the hospital as i had a very traumatic labour with ds and was given pethidine wich didn't take the pain away but made me have no control of my body ,i had an epidurial with the second one and what a difference that made i sat on the bed chatting away to the midwife and after a short time pushing dd came out without me feeling a thing,so for me the second time was a thousand times better,try not to worry too much i'm sure you'll be fine

SO much easier. First time had to have epidural - second time had nothing at all. Got to 10cm before mw even arrived. Don't worry!

I'm scared of 2nd labour too Arabella2 - it's reassuring to read these posts. Didn't realise puking is a sign of transition, Zebra. Wondered why I projectiled last time.....!
Good luck Arabella, I want to read your "2nd labour was easier" post on Mumsnet soon!

I too was terrified of my 2nd labour - I was totally unprepared for the 1st one, and found it very traumatic. As a result I spent more time and energy preparing for the 2nd one, specifically breathing exercises. I didn't need any pain relief at all for my 2nd labour and felt in control throughout. It was also much shorter than my first labour (less than half as long). But even though the labour was easier than the 1st one, the in control feeling was entirely down to psychological preparation, I'm convinced of that!

I was scared of the second labour too, but felt much better after I had persuaded a midwife friend to be my advocate/doula.

And the labour did turn out to be easier than the first - 3 hours from first major contraction to birth. Also had no pain relief, but only because I was too far gone on arriving at the hospital - probably shouldn't have had that last cup of tea. And because it was my second, I felt confident enough to ignore the midwives who told me not to shout/put baby on his tummy/give him glucose syrup (this is in Spain).

You'll be fine!

If I had a fiver for everyone who told me their first labour was a nightmare and their second one was straightforward, I'd have lots and lots of fivers.

I was so scared second time round I asked LOADS of people including midwives. Apparently it isn't, of course, guaranteed but it is very very very likely that your second will be much easier (one midwife friend said she'd only ever had one case of an equally difficult/harder labour).

And in the event yep, after a nightmare first labour (36 hours or so, ineffective epidural, emergency ventouse, nearly emergency Caesarian) my first was 7 hours from waters breaking without warning to giving birth after three pushes in a pool in my front room.

Here is one of the threads
In teh VAST majority of cases 2nd time is a hell of a lot easier (and shorter) - but as painful (usually).

Diny - puking happens at different stage of labour - not just transition.... transition is most often recognised by either a woman shouting (in a distressed way) "help me I can't do this" or "I want to go home".... some actually have a break in contractions too (i.e they slow down before it really starts kicking in for the 2nd stage).

Arabella, I went to an NCT Refresher class with four other couples. Two of these were SERIOUSLY dreading the second labour after a first-time nightmare. All of them had much better, easier, copable-with second times. Obviously their experiences varied but due to speed/circumstances one of them even managed without pain relief.
Heck, even my second elective c-section went better!
I hope these and other stories on here reassure you a bit...

Mine was loads quicker and easier too - started having contractions about 6 p.m. and he was born at 8.15 p.m. Didn't have any pain relief - not even gas and air - just did it with yoga breathing (that was not my intention, but just the way things worked out). So it was a lot easier in the sense that it was much quicker and I did it without pain relief.

Hi Arabella and Dinny, just wanted to say you're not the only ones feeling scared - I'm 32 weeks and have been having the same thoughts for the last week or so.
Emmatmg, can I ask what you mean when you say you "fought against it" in your second labour? I had an unplanned homebirth first time round and am planning a homebirth this time.

This is nice to hear, all of this. My mw ended my first labour by saying "get in fast next time, it'll be a quick one." It's nice that she said that - to try to reduce anxieties, but I still envisage this next one as being every bit as hard as the first (and add to that my knowledge that I had a relatively easy first birth). So it's nice to hear your "it just slipped out" stories!

Think also that the second one was easier. First one lasted over 2 days and never knew what to expect and what labour was supposed to feel like. The pain was the same but just much much quicker, dd started around 7pm that evening, by 3.30 am the next day she was a babe in arms...being in the know makes it a lot easier for you as you know the kind of feeling when its the transition stage and that it will soon be over AND you can be more prepared...Good Luck, am sure it will be alright for you again

I was surprised at how well I knew what was going on, what I mean is that I knew exactly when it was the right time to go to the hospital, exactly when I was in transition, exactly when I was about to start 2nd stage. The first time round I was astonished to be told that I was only at 2cm when I arrived in hosptial after 24h of strong, regular, painful contractions. Nothing went as I thought it was going (if that makes sense! ) and I too felt that I had lost control. In a sense you do lose control when you labour, because it's your body that's in control more than your mind. But, like I said, this time around I understood much better what was happening inside me, and was able to go with the flow when necessary and to take control and say 'this is what I need/want now' when necessary. It was a more painful delivery because I used no painrelief, but on the other hand it was a much more pleasant experience overall than the first labour.

I feel I am going to have a hard time as my first delivery was fast (six hours) and uncomplicated (no tearing even)!!!

Pupuce, btw - took your advice on which doula..... Thanks!

Diny - Told you
Glad you liked her .... you will have to say how she was after the birth!!!

dinny, not necessarily, my first and second births were quick

arabella2, i posted on your other thread. My first labor was 40 hours followed by an emergency c-section. My 2nd was 5 1/2 hours (with only gas and air) resulting in a natural birth. Don't worry, 2nd labors are almost always much easier. Not only do you know what to expect, but (hate to say it) you are all stretched out even if you had a c-section.

Thank you very much for the reassurance. I have relaxed a bit and am planning to spend time visualising how I would like things to go and also when actually in labour to try to think of the baby rather than myself and see how that goes. Anyway, I will let you know!!!