!!!!!!!!!!!! calling all Mid wifes and Wise women !!!!!!!!!!!!! im sure there are plenty of you

[dressedupnowheretogo]

due to rising anxiety levels and being under the peri natal mental health team at my hospital me and mw have come to the conclusion that having a c section would be better for me

but after my appt with the lovely consultant yesterday at QMCnotts she has decided to send me round the mw led unit to discuss and observe stuff and maybe the cons led unit for the same again rather than yes have a section hope on

i spent two and a half hours sobbing after my appt yesterday as i felt i'd been fobbed off by my mw and the cons

im meeting with the peri mental health team on monday and they were previously discussing going on medication before i gave birth which is was previously opposed to but now im starting to think maybe this would be better

so do you think medication a detailed birth plan and lots of discussion would be better overall than a c section

im really in knots about this and would appreciate any sound advice from anyone but particularly from people with experince of this

thanks

Poor you! You can really do without this added anxiety right now. Difficult when you are suffering this way I know, but for what it's worth, I should try and take "the bull by the horns" and work towards getting the outcome you want, rather than having that decision forced on you. I was terrified of giving birth (already had anxiety /panic attack problem prior to getting pregnant) but I didn't put my case very forcefully because I felt guilty and was too embarrassed to admit that I wanted a c-section and felt somehow "I should" give birth naturally. (In the end, as it happened, I didn't have a choice because my baby was breach and so I had to have a c-section and it was a really great, lovely experience.) Could you possibly go to your consultant and state calmly and clearly that you have been grateful for the opportunity to look at all the options and have considered their relative merits carefully but owing to your mental state, you feel it would be best for your baby as well as yourself for you to have a c-section. The birth of a child is such a stressful time anyway, you need to be on best form for post-birth too. Tell her that this additional waiting is exacerbating the problem. Anxiety disorders and any sort of psychological suffering is an illness you know. Don't feel guilty or be put off! (Go and find a psychologist who can support you with this if necessary.) Courage! Try and get it sorted now so that your anxiety doesn't rise any more. Good luck and thinking of you!!!

well im on the frist step im awaiting a call from my mw and im gonna see if she can chaase everything up me and get an appt for me for the tours and stuff be fore monday cause i need it to be sorted befroe i go to mental health appt on monday

Yes, they should be offering her therapy and referring her for a second opinion if they won't do a cs themselves, and if they refused a cs at 37 weeks there would be a serious time constraint, but there's no indication, unless I've read the whole thread too quickly, that they won't do a cs themselves. It sounds as though the consultant would prefer not to but will if boobylicious still wants one at 37 weeks.

Poor you booby. It sounds like another "pat the little woman on the head we know best" situation. And we're supposed to bei n the 21st century?

FWIW I had a vaginal delivery - I had an epidural and slept through most of the labour! DS was born after a 5 hour labour. Appreciate I was so so so lucky.

Stick to your guns and go for what you think will be best for you.

(((HUGS)))

Let us know how it goes Boobyl - thinking of you - good luck!

well i went to my mental health appt new docotor spent ten minutes telling her how i felt and she just dissmissed it all women feel like this all she was bothered about was my post mental state ffs im in a state now

so i'll have to talk to my mw thursday and go from there

Hi booby, what a time of it you're having. I don't really have any advice but just wanted to say that I had PostND with DD1 and PreND with DD2 (although not surrounding the birth) and my mental state this time post birth has been much better. Suppose I'm just saying that things might calm down afterwards eh?
I also had two very long labours but wonderful births but I can see why a cs would be tempting for you.
Why can't they start meds now so that you can think more clearly about the whole thing?

my thoughts exactly docs attitude yesterday really upset me

Let's hope a MW comes along soon eh as I have no idea why you aren't on meds by now. My doc was very good with my PreND (nowhere near as bad as yours) but would have given meds if I wanted. She was a specialist in the field tho as first time around a doc told me I couldn't have meds whilst bfing which is total crap.

Sorry to hear you had such a crap time BL So what is happening regarding meds?

I've had both section and births and I really wouldn't favour one over the other. A section is wonderfully calm, but there is the pain afterwards. A birth hurts beforehand! I had lots of entinox tho, which made me feel slightly drunk but I was calm. You are going to have to sit down and think about what you want, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

i asume when i see mw on thurs she will either suggest them or not ?

me and my dh will be there on thur so between the three of us im sure we'll be able to make a descion i think im going with the section at 39 weeks unless the mw suggests a suitable solution my dh is pushing for section at 41 weeks so i get a date and a chance to labour but i dont think i can do that without meds and my dh is very sceptical re the meds

but ithink the best thing will be a section to be honest it makess me feel confident with everything and positive if ihad to go through labour im scared id fall to peices

So if you knwo waht you want then push for that. Best of luck to you, I do hope you get it all in place soon so you can relax and bit and enjoy your pg.

I think you and DH need to decide on a plan that you both agree with before you go to see the MW. It sounds like you are feeling positive about a cs at 39 weeks but can you get him to back you up on this?
I don't see the point in labouring if you are so scared about it and want a cs anyway. IMO the labouring is the worst bit - it's the birth that rocks!!! Go straight for the cs.

mw session was faB she cant see any reason why i wont get my section at 39 weeks my dh is on board for me haing a sectio as well now also it will be in my notes that if i go into labour beofre 39 weeks i will still get a section with out being talked into labouring so feel much more positive and mw doesnt see the need to start any meds

she has advised me to think long and hard re the mental health team as she herself is disgusted woith the way i was treated on monday so has advised to complain if i wish and to contact her if i do

here's to a positive monday appt with the consultatnt

just to say thanks to you all

my section will be on the 14th of august

thank you all for aadvice and support

loads a love jayne

So glad you got your section sorted booby. Can't wait for the announcement! Take care and keep in touch

XXXXX

boobylicious i have read this thread with great interest, im due my second baby in November and although my first labour wasnt bad, very avaerage this time i am having extreamly bad panick attacks about labouring again i have no idea why but its making night times hard.

My midwife isnt being at all helpfull just said it will probably be quicker this time and i will be fine.

How did you get your point across about your feeling to your health team? what process did you have to go through to get assesed for a c section? If you dont mind me asking that is, its just i havent sound anyone in the same position as me yet and it would be great to talk.

Just thought this might help or parts of it may help to make this the birth YOU want.

Really glad you have got it sorted.

Makingcaesereanbirthspecial

Click on 'Caeserean birth plan' on the left hand side

Well done you. Will look out for the happy announcement. Take it easy afterwards - bed, tea, baby and boobies!

charlee im under health team due to my family being loop the loop and to be honest they are no help

it was my mw who referred me to consultant after i waleked into her office unscheduled and said you said i could have a section and i want one as i was inc emotional and felt the anxiety had taken over she listened and suggested seeing the consultan

the consultant then explained all the bad stuff and asked me to visit both units midwife and cons led before making my descion which i did even thought it reassured me i decided i still wanted a section and she was happy to go with it

if your not happy you can ask for a second mwife and for a cons appt