Home birth. Everyone looks at me like I'm mad, why?

[littleraysofsunshine]

I am 8 weeks away from being due with dc3. And after two very fast labours have been advised for home birth. All family members look at me like .. Oh you poor thing, or just that they have a really odd view on it especially in this day & age.. When I've read up on home birth I've seen some lovely stories. They just think doom and gloom instantly ?

I had a pph two hours after delivering dd1 (normal delivery) so that's a worry. No pph with dd2, I only list 300mls,

Also I have low BP. And iron but it's being monitored.

I have said if I can make it to MLU then I will but I'm just being prepped for home birth by midwives. Birth box etc.

What do you think about it?

That is exactly the reason I didn't tell anyone I was having a homebirth until afterwards! Homebirth is so much nicer than hospital ime

I'd say if they are preparing you for a home birth that's far more positive than ending up having an unplanned one. There are plenty of places online to check out what the benefits are, if it will help you to get your head around it. It will also give you something to tell your relatives if that helps.

I had DD2 at home and it was lovely (DD1 at MLU), I would recommend homebirth once you "know what you're doing" (as far as birth but also BFing)

People will always be unconvinced unless it is the same decision that they would have made.

I had 2 HBs out of choice and enjoyed them very much. I hope for the same for you. If the MWs are comfortable and it gives you more options it seems a good decision for you.

I had Ds1 at home, planned but much faster than anticipated. Midwife got there to catch but at no point did we feel at all anxious...was a lovely experience. I had pph & very calm transfer to hospital. Didn't detract from wonderful birth though.

Ds2 was born in MLU due to pph and his size! Was also v quick and wonderful experience. I would be concerned about making it if I ever had another though, and would definitely request a home birth.

Where would you feel safest? It's so personal. For me, feeling in control in my own environment was great. As was not worrying about when to attempt to get into the car :)

Dp seems really uneasy too.

Just because of my pph after dd1 in MLU

So what's the advantage of mlu if you have a pph?

When I had a homebirth I asked some scary 'what if' questions when the mw visited me at home at 36 weeks. I was reassured, maybe dp needs to do the same for his peice of mind.

Oh, I had the same. People can get very funny about it. Last pregnancy, my friend's idea of a Supportive Comment was: "I'm not saying you shouldn't do it or anything, all I'm saying is that if I'd attempted a home birth with DC2, he'd have died. That's all I'm saying".

This time, even my own very dear sis has said "I suppose you wouldn't consider going to hospital just to put my mind at rest, would you?". No, sis, because much as I love you this is a LITTLE bit more about me, actually...

Ignore it all and do what is right for you.

People are funny about home births. They think that they are riskier for mother and baby. They think it's safer to be near machines with lights and beeps. Which it is if you are high risk, but if you aren't (and aren't on your first) the studies show it's just as safe to be at home or in a stand alone MLU.

They also think that only mad hippies have home births.

Oh yeah, I think that's a very large part of it. People often equate hospitals with safety and don't understand that with birth, the picture is a little more complicated than that.

I think it's more how quickly things changed. Her birth was great, fast but a little too fast if anything. Then I thought everything was good, then I just fainted and lost 1000mls, as my placenta was "ragged" they thought it was retained but wasn't in the end.

Dd2 was super fast, unknown back to back and I only had 300mls blood loss and home by the morning.

I just think he worries about not bring prepared for bad scenarios. Or if MW is late, or he's late. I'm alone etc.

I have these thoughts as I would live a water home birth but I just don't see myself having time to fill it (not me but just how fast I deliver)

I presume you don't have the money and/or space for the rigid sort you set up in advance (birth pools that is).

I know a few of my friends have had home births (not first babies) and had really positive experiences.

Not the space really especially with Christmas tree, new sofa and two kids under three lol

Oh yes, the speed with which things can change is a very valid concern too. I was happy to plan home births on the basis that we were comfortably within dashing distance of the hospital if needed!

I can see your DP's point but the whole issue is that the birth might happen too quickly for you to get anywhere - you've said you're happy to go to the birth centre if there's time, but if there isn't, better to be prepared at home surely...?

Yes, I'll prepare for both. I jut may think our main concern is obviously baby & my safety.

And if labour goes well, mw's leave then I start to haemorrhage again as I did that two hours after dd.

My earliest memory is the morning my DSIS was born. It was a done deal from that day that my DC2 would be too.

It just seemed the natural order of things to me.

you don't need a long story, DD2's birth and being in my own home to establish BF was just magical.

Go for it!