Not sure what to do....

[c737]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to ask for some advice. I am 27 weeks pregnant (first child) and have had an awful pregnancy so far. Pain in my side/back pretty much the whole way through, which has nearly made me go crazy along with the pregnancy hormones. Docs have investigated and not sure what it is, but said there's not a lot they can do while I'm preg.

I am starting to think that maybe I should ask for a c-section as I don't want to risk a traumatic birth, and I think my anxiety levels have been so high all through this pregnancy that I could well end up having a nasty/traumatic birth. I'm already worried about PND after the birth because of how difficult I've found this pregnancy and don't want anything else to throw in the mix (ie awful memories of birth).

I also think that if I am booked in and have an end date I will feel a lot better, like I have a little more control over the situation. The pain/discomfort is constant so getting through the days and weeks is a constant battle not to give in and go up the wall!

I don't think I'm from the school of thought that you have to have a natural childbirth to feel 'complete' but then again don't want to rule it out if that's the best option for me.

Any advice will be massively appreciated!

Thanks!

i think you should talk it through with your midwife.

i can't, from your post, see any real reason why you would have a traumatic birth... most people don't!
I suffer from anxiety myself, so can understand how easy it is to get onto a train of thought like that though!

I think that a c-section offers its own very different set of risks, and certainly doesn't take away the risk of PND afterwards

so, definitely talk to the midwife. she will hopefully be able to reassure you about the things you're concerned about and talk you through the various birth options and see what you think?

That's really helpful, thank you. I am seeing my midwife tomorrow so will ask her then. Have you (or any others) have any experience of c-section that you could share?

Don't underestimate the challenge of caring for a newborn whilst recovering from major surgery. I had an 'elective' c section (not through choice - dd was breech) and although the procedure wasn't too bad the recovery was a shock - I felt like i'd been hit by a truck, I got a wound infection and it took months for my tummy muscles to feel vaguely normal again. Would it help you to focus on the things you can control after the birth, whichever way it happens? - eg reading up on babycare and feeding? Looking back I really wish I'd spent less time focussing on the birth and more getting my head round actually having a baby. Hope the midwife is helpful tomorrow.

Don't forget that you might actually find childbirth better than pregnancy. It must be awful to be in pain and not know why or what to do about it. When you're actually having a baby, you know why the pain is there (you can always take pain relief anyway), you know it will end and you have something to 'do', if you see what I mean. Some women do have traumatic births, it's true, but equally lots feel really thrilled and proud of themselves afterwards.

Scary things can and do happen during C-sections too - it's not a guarantee of a trauma-free delivery, though obviously there is an element of control to an ELCS. From reading threads on here though I am not sure that you would be guaranteed one if you wanted one (NICE guidelines are that C sections should be available at maternal request but I get the impression that many hospitals do not follow the guidelines).

Looking at ways to manage your anxieties might be a good thing to do regardless of how you to decide to give birth. Maggie Howell Natal Hypnotherapy CDs are a good place to start - there is a simple pregnancy relaxation exercise which you might find helpful, plus birth preparation routines which could help you have a birth that you feel happy with, however you decide to do it. Good luck!