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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Who has had children present in the house during a homebirth?

34 replies

Clr2014 · 19/11/2013 11:35

My dc are 7 and 9. Planning homebirth with dc3. Trying to think through what my other 2 will do when labour time comes. Obviously they might be at school but if it happens in the night..... or on a Sunday av.... I'd quite like them to be here (perhaps watching dvd in another room?!) but wondering about the noises etc.

I have great neighbours that i could punt them off to in the middle of the night or at last minute so that is very much an option.

Would love to hear your experiences / opinions etc.

OP posts:

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feetheart · 19/11/2013 11:46

DD was 2.9 when DS was born at home.
She was upstairs in her bedroom with her auntie reading her stories for the final bit as it was close to bedtime.
DH went and got her within 5 mins of DS's arrival and it was magical. She then went to bed, slept through and arrived in our room the next morning wanting to know "where is our baby?"
We had read Hello Baby a lot beforehand and talked about me making a lot of noise. I'm not sure if I did but DS has just turned 8, DD is nearly 11 and doesn't seem to have been phased by the experience - she did spend A LOT of time giving birth to dollies/soft toys/etc for quite a while afterwards though :o

Good luck with it all - getting into my own bath and then my own bed afterwards plus the best-ever tasting omelette and hot choc that DH made me are still fabulous memories of that evening :)

bundaberg · 19/11/2013 11:47

interested too. I have 3 children who will be 9, 6 and 4 when this baby is born.

it's kind of hard finding someone to have all 3, so was thinking of having them around.

number 3 was born in the night ,which was handy as the other 2 just woke up in the morning and met him :-D

enjoyingscience · 19/11/2013 15:23

watching with interest. Hoping for a homebirth with DC2, and our plans for 'what to do with DS' are getting more complex by the minute.

I'd love for it to all kick off in the night and for him to meet his sibling in the morning and not be woken up by my mooing

LovesToBake · 19/11/2013 15:32

Also watching with interest. Planning a home birth for DC2 when DS will be 2 years. Hoping it will all happen at night while he's asleep so no issues with childcare for him, as a daytime labour (on a non-nursery weekday) will involve a complicated ring-round of local friends to pick him up until my DM can get to us (1.5hrs away). They mostly arrive at night, right?!

kissmyshineymetalass · 19/11/2013 15:37

My two year old was in the room but to busy watching Dora the explorer to be interested with what was going on behind her she six now and doesn't believe me when I tell her she was in the room when her bother was born.i went in to labour at 9:30 am and ds was born 4 in the afternoon so my mum picked the older dc from school so the timing was perfect

kissmyshineymetalass · 19/11/2013 15:38

That's supposed to be brother not bother

hoarseoldfrog · 19/11/2013 15:43

I was born at home. One of my mums favourite memories is my older sisters coming in to see me the next morning. Think a family member was there to keepan eye.... Was born at night though so guess they were in bed!

kelda · 19/11/2013 15:44

Both dd1 and dd2 were asleep in their bedroom - aged 3 and 4.5. I was in labour from midnight until ds was born at 4am. I didn't make that much noise but I do remember being cross because the midwife had left the bedroom door open and I was worried about the girls waking up.

About an hour after giving birth, the girls woke up and met their new brother. I haemorrhaged suddenly and I think the girls were a bit freaked out by all the bood and action. One of the girls promptly vomited on the floor. I'm not sure of the exact details as I was a bit out of it.

Dd1 still remembers the blood. Probably put her off having children for life.

WiseKneeHair · 19/11/2013 15:45

My DC1&2 were around, they were 4 and 6. I went into labour at about 6.30pm, so quickly got them into bed by 7. DH and the first midwife both got here by about 7.30 and DC3 arrived at about 7.55! So, all very quick and DC1&2 slept through it all.

cazboldy · 19/11/2013 15:48

just marking place as haven't time to post and will pop back later..... but yes I have, 6dc, 5 hb - other dc in the house with all. :)

notagiraffe · 19/11/2013 15:52

I went to SiLs for the birth of her second child at home, mainly to be the person there to look after her PFB. He woke up with the noise and we sat downstairs and cuddled and read stories. then while she was resting, I got to cuddle the newborn to keep him warm. Lovely memories. Can you just get someone in at your home to help out with the children?

Original poster

Clr2014 · 19/11/2013 16:36

Really interesting reading your experiences. Thank you to all who have shared so far. Don't have anyone nearby who I would want to be in with the dc, although do have people who could be in iyswim. Had wondered about putting them to sleep in the same room as each other so they have one another should they wake up... Last hb happened entirely in the night time but shipped my 2 yo out as didn't want to risk him waking and needing us...

OP posts:

Tabby1963 · 19/11/2013 16:51

I had my DS at home. I already had a DD. DS was due to be born on her first birthday but came 2 weeks early. It was great timing actually, a Sunday, so husband was home (he lived away for work during the week at the time). I contacted my DB and Dsil and they sat with DD while I yelled a bit and pushed had baby upstairs.

It was a relaxed and low key event. Had I gone into labour during the week husband would have missed the birth though and I might have had to call on neighbours to sit with DD while I did the business.

OP, babies come at any time to suit themselves so make sure you have contingency plans for all eventualities.

Best of luck for the birth.

SoupDragon · 19/11/2013 17:03

Mine were 5 & 7 when DD was born. I had planned for them to just be at home but there came a point where they had to be gone and gone now! Very strange feeling. My parents were here and my dad was going to take them to the park. As it happens, their father turned up and took them. DD was born perhaps 10 minutes after they'd gone :)

SoupDragon · 19/11/2013 17:04

From my experience, I think you need to be prepared for needing them gone - you may not feel that way but it's best to have a contingency plan!

Hawkmoth · 19/11/2013 17:06

Yes. DD watched the birth.

TwoPeasOnePod · 19/11/2013 17:11

I had an unintentional home birth as dc3 arrived very fast. Other two dcs (aged 5 and 2 5) slept through it. I avoided hospital, my DM got to see dc3 born, and the kids got to meet their little brother in the morning
It was amazing

Pooka · 19/11/2013 18:13

Dd was 6 and ds1 was 4 when ds2 was born at home.

My waters broke at 9pm so they were in bed. Rang my mum in case she needed to come (she didn't in the end). Midwife arrived at 9.45 and stayed for an hour until about 10:45). Mild but productive contractions but only 2cm dilated. She went to collect some gear. Everything ramped up very quickly and ds2 was born at 11.10 pm 5 mins after the midwife returned (after very panicky phone call from dh). Second midwife arrived 10 mins after ds2.
Apparently the midwife was en route back when dh called - had sudden inkling that should hurry (particularly taking into account ds1's 2.5 hour labour!)

I fed while delivered the placenta. Then had a shower and jumped into bed with ds2 all snuggled up. Then dd woke up (was about midnight by then). She popped upstairs to out bedroom (we have attic room) and saw ds2 and the midwives (the second one had delivered her) and then went back to bed. Midwives left at about 1am.

Was absolutely brilliant.

Got ikea mattress protector which completely did the job. Midwives changed bed and dh stuck the protector
Straight in wash. I'd already made up a spare duvet an got sheets put aside when I was sorting the hospital bag.

Pooka · 19/11/2013 18:16

I was quite noisy. It was very quick though so spent quite a lot of time panting because the midwife was on her way. Panting was quiet though!

Squitten · 19/11/2013 18:33

I did it 9 days ago! We had 2 kids - 5 and 2.

Planned a homebirth and it all went off early Sun morning at 4am. Midwife came at 5:30am and we were all sat on the sofa watching telly. I rang my Mum at 5:45am to get her to come over in advance of the kids getting up at 6:30am. They didn't actually get up until 7am at which point we left the kids downstairs with my Mum and went up to our room.

I was really quite noisy towards the end. My Mum could hear me but the kids were good as gold. They played with my Mum and we gave them the iPad to play games, watch films, etc. TBH, I forgot they were all downstairs!

Baby was born just after noon and the kids came up to see baby getting weighed, etc. It was fine!

Bearwantsmore · 19/11/2013 19:14

DD was 3.5 when DS was born at home. The actual birth itself was fine - she was there but I didn't notice and she was quite awestruck by all accounts. She still talks about it now and didn't seem fazed at all.

However... the contractions leading up to the birth were a different story. I really wanted to be on my own to focus and deal with the pain, but she wouldn't leave me alone, even with DH here too. She obviously sensed something was going on and did get a bit distressed.

Overall though, I'm pleased she was there and if I had another baby I'd do it at home with the DC there again.

Original poster

Clr2014 · 19/11/2013 20:35

I definitely don't want them in the room with me when it comes to transition time and pushing. I definitely do not want them in the room for the delivery. But, i would like them to be through as soon as the placenta is delivered. I definitely do not want any other adult in the house when i deliver other than dh and midwives.

Like i said, i can punt them to the neighbours at any point...and think there may actually be a point when i want them gone as a few of you have said.

Last labour was 2 hours from very start to delivery...if i'd known that at the time i don't think i'd have disturbed pfb. But, you can't know that. Nor can you know how long next labour will be.

Really appreciate you all helping me think through what I want.

OP posts:

Shoutymomma · 19/11/2013 20:57

Your trickiest time is breakfast. After school you can recruit parents of friends, middle of the night, they'll be sleeping, no problem. All you need is a back up "out for breakfast" treat. Home birthing rocks!! Good luck!

Liara · 19/11/2013 21:02

Ds1 was there (3yo) asleep in the room next door. Woke up in the middle of the night, and the look on his face when we asked him if he would like to see his baby brother made the whole thing worthwhile.

NoComet · 19/11/2013 21:04

DD1(3) was fast asleep and came in when DD2 was three minutes old.

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