Elective c section. Last minute panic. Help!

[Bellini28]

Hi ladies I posted a couple of months back about anyone having any elective regrets. I gave birth naturally eight years ago and I found it traumatic and distressing... No long term physical effects but I really don't have good memories. This time around I'm having a 'non medical' section. Next week! Private ob and hospital so am very sure of my care (no offence meant by that) but I'm having cold feet and wondering if I am doing the right thing... I feel that it's guilt more than anything. I'm a bit confused maybe. Rationally I have made this decision based on best predicted outcome plus the level of control - something that I was stripped of during my natural delivery...

I am waffling. I guess it is last minute nerves. I just can't rid myself of the fear I have of having a c section next week... Even though I'm terrified at the bought of another vaginal delivery....
Any voices of reassurance??

I had a semi planned section and it was amazing. Incredibly pain free, I was up and about 12 hours later and am so glad I took that option and was not exhausted before I even started x

I nearly had a section due to a bad first birth.
I was referred to post traumatic stress counselling and chose a vaginal birth.

good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine:)
it's so scary but memory makes things worse. stay calm.

I had elcs for dc2 and it was a really positive experience after a horrible time with natural birth with dc1.

I was overdue and diagnosed breech at 40+2 consultant appt. I was relieved when they booked me for cs at 40+8 as even though I'd agreed to try vaginally I was regretting it and really starting to stress.

Got to hospital on day of cs to be told that dc wasn't breech at all and they wouldn't do section. I had a meltdown and insisted and they gave in.

Cs was incredibly positive and no issues with recovery- better if anything!

Good luck!

I loved my section with dd, it was great and I recovered really fast. I would have been fine last time too except for the spd that didn't go away afterwards, but the section itself was totally unproblematic.

Good luck

OP I could have written your story. I had a dreadful VB with my DD1 a couple of years ago. I decided I wanted a ELCS this time. To cut a long story short, after a lot of insisting on my part and consultants not taking me seriously they eventually agreed to give me the ELCS on basis of psychological trauma after previous difficult delivery, so according to them it was not on medical necessity (although I would say psych trauma is medical necessity but that’s another argument!).

I am now 9 days post c-section and feel fine, albeit have to do some things carefully. The ELCS was one of the BEST decisions I ever made. Yes it was scary (I had unbelievable anxiety the night before and nearly pulled out of it) but staff were totally brilliant and in the operation it felt like everyone was just going about their everyday work, had Capital Radio on in the background and the anaesthetist updated me every few mins on what was happening, he even offered me gas and air for my anxiety but I actually refused it as I felt I was coping ok. I won’t pretend I enjoyed it but it was as good as it could be and a damn site less traumatic and scary than my VB. Most of the fear for me was the unknown as I had never had any kind of surgery before.
First two days after the operation were bit difficult pain-wise but I was given plenty of pain relief so it never felt overwhelming. I haven’t needed to use any pain relief (not even paracetamol) since day 3 after the op. I am glad I did it this way this time and if I got pregnant again I would definitely have an ELCS again.

Why do you feel guilty about it? Am wondering if you have been bombarded with the ‘natural birth is always better’ school of thought like I was, particularly in ante-natal classes – c-sections were a dirty word and not really talked about. I felt a bit strange about having the ELCS as the idea of a natural delivery really appealed to me last time but I had such a grim experience I just wanted it to be different this time.

The ELCS was the right thing for me as everything was well-controlled and I feel more well and relaxed after the birth this time which has made a massive difference to how I feel emotionally when caring for a small baby – a very important thing that often gets overlooked.

If it would help you, there are several threads on here about the procedures of a ELCS if you want to know – I researched every single aspect of it and this did help with my anxiety as it meant there were no surprises. If you have any qus or just want to talk it though feel free to PM me.

I agree with everything whatwasithinkingof said- much more eloquently put!

Mumsnet gets a lot of flack but moments like this, reading these lovely responses confirms just how helpful and supportive it can often be.

I thank you all. You have really put my mind at rest. what it seems we could have written each other's posts yes. I too was very pro natural first time around and whilst I didn't get any of the physical damage I read about on here :( psychologically I found the experience rather shocking, suffice to say not one I personally wish to repeat. The guilt comes from not having a medical issue I guess. I have trawled past posts on ELCS and it has helped a bit.

Once again thanks. Much appreciated xx

Bellini,

My first birth was technically great, 6 hours established labour, no stitches ( small painful tear).

However as I am not just a pair of birthing hips, and I am attached to a brain too, it was for me horrendous.

Its taken me about 4 years to get over it all, and when I went back to hospital I flooded into tears just seeing the lift doors, remembering how I went in in labour. I was in fact only told 5 years later that actually my baby had been back to back!

Anyway second time round I dreaded labour. I felt I had been very lucky first time round, I felt I was most defiantly the exception not the rule, and I did not want to risk having a truly traumatic birth when I knew I could not cope with a so called straight forward text book birth.

YES the section scared me, yes, when i went into theatre I was scared, but it was fear that was easily allayed, I was not in pain, I was not in wild panic as I knew I was in good medical hands.

It was all over so quickly.

When I think back on it, which I don't really do, as it was so sort of great but bland, I think on it as a lovely calm experience. Unlike years of looking back at labour with traumatic feelings. My feelings on the section are just that it was the right thing for me and I was lucky to have it.

As an aside, this baby was much calmer than the first, we bonded far more easily as I was rested before the birth!!! I had not had labour to go through so emotionally and physically ( even with the section) I was much better placed to concentrate on her. BF for those reasons has gone much better because I was calmer and more mentally able to commit to it and I wasnt in pain. After my first labour I was in physical pain down below and with my back. Not with the section, apart from a niggling one.

All round, a brilliant wonderful experience!

Hi, I wrote this to another poster a month ago:

I went to the NCT classes, did the hypnotherapy course and was all set for a "natural" birth, but when I was 30 weeks it became impossible due to medical reasons.

It was uneventful, calm and I felt very safe and able to focus on my baby and share the moment with DH. Having a second section in 3 months and no regrets.

Having said that, my main objectives were for both DD and me to leave the hospital alive, healthy without any major trauma and preferably with breastfeeding established.

I don't think it's a particularly popular opinion on MN, but I saw the birth as a very minor part of becoming a mother - much like I saw my wedding vs being married.

Good luck with your birth, whatever you choose

I had a c-section for my first. I hadn't planned on it, but towards the end of my pregnancy it was becoming more and more clear that my pain threshold and I'm just an anxious person when it comes to my physical body. (I sound like a super twat, I know).

Anyway, I was super fearful of going into labour that my doctor decided to do a c-section at the 37th week (which was good because I had started to develop late onset preeclampsia). The only fear I had was a fleeting moment of "OMG, maybe I'm not ready to be a mother yet." By the time I had that thought though, they had already made the incision.

I'm having my second c-section in two weeks and I'm nervous (but thats just who I am). I'm also super excited about starting off my new relationship with such a happy and positive way (for me).

more and more clear that I have a low pain threshold and when it comes to pain, I become quite anxious.

I had an elcs on maternal request, and it was a very positive experience for me. Yes there were scary bits, and painful bits. But I know I would have found a vaginal birth and the normal consequences very very difficult. I feel very lucky I was granted one.