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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Home birth for first - good idea or being naive??

53 replies

meandbumpy · 31/10/2013 12:41

This is my first baby, I've just had my 34 week appointment, everything is progressing well and I'm low risk. Midwife is very happy with things and asked if I'd considered having a home birth.
I love the thought of doing it but hadn't considered it before now because I'd felt a little under informed about labour. I've now spent a lot of time throughout the pregnancy reading up about the stages of birth, how it happens naturally and what could go wrong or what challenges I could face. I am keen to avoid any pain relieve other than gas and air and the hospital is very close to home should I need to transfer.
I don't feel nervous or anxious about the birth and I'm actually looking forward to it. Of course this could be down to my lack of experience and general naivety!

Does anyone have any first time home birth experiences they'd like to share to give me a bit of real life perspective?

Also, a few questions...

  • Where do you get all the equipment from, birthing pool for example. Can you hire/borrow them or do you have to buy your own?
  • Is it really messy!?
  • What do you think, shall I go for it???
OP posts:
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Catsby · 31/10/2013 19:41

I'd go for it if you want. However if I were you I'd just be mentally prepared in case you have to go to hospital - so it's more that you are thinking "I'll start at home, and be all ready in the hope that everything goes well and I can have the baby here, but I don't mind if I go to hospital."

Labour's an unknowable event, and if you haven't been through it before you don't really know how you're going to react. I know a lot of people who have had interventions in their first labour but not in later labours, who knows why. As I'd say so all first time mums, you really don't have any idea what is going to happen so it's best not to get too attached to one particular idea of your labour. But if you want to try for a home birth, go for it.

BeansAndCheese · 31/10/2013 19:47

I hope for a hb this time...and don't care remotely if the neighbours hear.

Frecklesandspecs · 31/10/2013 19:58

That's true Aunty!! defo would start the gossip in our little close. but then most of them are at least slightly deafanyway.
hehe busy!

Lavenderhoney · 31/10/2013 20:02

I have to jump in and say I went for dinner at someone's house and the pool was set up in the corner! She was feeling a bit funny so her dh set it up. The only issue was the home birth Mw was very busy so she was asked to come to hospital. She refused, had the baby and her dh dealt with everything til the Mw arrived. It was her second hb though.

Plan for it, read up on it, make sure your birth partner does too, maybe look at a doula in case the Mw can't come, but be flexible, good luck:)

Geneticsbunny · 31/10/2013 21:21

I had a home birth with my first and it was a lovely experience. I felt really relaxed and in control of what was happening plus I had a midwife with me the whole time (domino midwives in my area). I agree with the others though, be prepared mentally in case you have to go in because it can be really disappointing ( I had to go in for my second).

No mess as i had my DS in a birthing pool. Pool was available from the local hospital free of charge although I did have to supply a sieve! Only other things I got were some cheap old towels and sheets and some plastic decorating sheets.

NaturalBaby · 31/10/2013 21:29

Go for it.
I had all 3 of mine at home, I bought a water pool to have a water birth for ds1 and used it for ds2. I didn't like the idea of DH going home, leaving me and our new baby alone in hospital. I knew my body would tense up and labour wouldn't progress as well if I had to transfer to hospital. The midwives just sat in the corner of the room and left us to it which is just what I wanted. All the mess was contained in the pool but it was a big job for poor DH to empty the mess afterwards when it was cold and we were tired!

AmericasTorturedBrow · 31/10/2013 21:39

Had both mine at home, and though obviously I'm massively pro HB I utterly support a woman's decision to give birth wherever she feels safest (in all honesty I read a lot if horror stories of hospital births and totally freaked out at the thought of going anywhere near a hospital, probably about as helpful as people to say all the usual stuff of "if my baby had been born at home we'd both have died")

The very fact that you're considering it means you'll inevitably end up well informed to make a choice that's right for you. Decide what's important to you, what risks you're prepared to take and not take (labour is risky regardless of where you give birth and is also so dependent on your hospital trust)

I wouldn't change a thing, though as a PP said def prepare mentally in case you do have to transfer - aim to be at home as long as possible and trust in your midwives

I gave birth in a rented flat, didn't use a pool, midwives cleaned everything up perfectly. Amazing experiences both times. Having two midwives (one from start to finish) all to myself was the absolute clincher for me as my local hospital regularly had 1 to 7/8 women, never mind shift changes, and a fairly high rate of intervention, which I wanted to avoid unless medically necessary.

Sounds like you have supportive midwives which is a great start! Good luck

totallystuck · 31/10/2013 21:44

I had a 46 hour labour and had my (first) baby at home. I really enjoyed it and would definitely do the same again if the drs ok'd it.

The pool we hired with ally how other stuff you need and we got some old towels and 2 large non slip mats. There was no mess at all really (and I delivered my son on dry land).

The midwife dropper her Doppler thingy into the water though and it broke which nearly meant we had to go in. Luckily I had one so we could stay. They check the babies heart rate and your blood pressure pretty regularly and the midwives (we had 4 in total as labour was so long) were all brilliant.

I think the birth part helps if your flexible. My birth plan was basically do whatever is takes to get this baby out alive and well and don't offer me any drugs, if I want them I only want an epidural!

Best part of having the baby at home was that I felt much more in control. At 9cms I helped the midwife peek a satsuma!

totallystuck · 31/10/2013 21:45

I had a 46 hour labour and had my (first) baby at home. I really enjoyed it and would definitely do the same again if the drs ok'd it.

The pool we hired with ally how other stuff you need and we got some old towels and 2 large non slip mats. There was no mess at all really (and I delivered my son on dry land).

The midwife dropper her Doppler thingy into the water though and it broke which nearly meant we had to go in. Luckily I had one so we could stay. They check the babies heart rate and your blood pressure pretty regularly and the midwives (we had 4 in total as labour was so long) were all brilliant.

I think the birth part helps if your flexible. My birth plan was basically do whatever is takes to get this baby out alive and well and don't offer me any drugs, if I want them I only want an epidural!

Best part of having the baby at home was that I felt much more in control. At 9cms I helped the midwife peek a satsuma!

CooCooCachoo · 01/11/2013 08:44

Almost had my first at home, midwife ran out of gas and air ( I did get through it rather quickly mind) and went to get some more from the hospital 5 mins away. I started feeling a bit 'pushy' while she was gone and freaked out so made DH take me to hospital where I gave birth just over an hour later.

If I had had more confidence in the midwife I would have waited but she wasn't terribly pleasant about bei g made to stay up all night with me. All the other community midwives had been lovely and if I could guarantee getting someone I trusted 'on the night' I would definitely do it again.

SidandAndyssextoy · 01/11/2013 16:59

I felt exactly as you do about labour, OP. Relaxed and rather l

SidandAndyssextoy · 01/11/2013 17:08

Oops! Relaxed and rather looking forward to it. Home birth is very much supported in my area with a rate approaching 10% and I had amazing caseload midwives who saw me all the way through, including birth. In the end, I had a very long, intense period of latent labour, with regular contractions for three days. Midwives would pop in, check me, declare me still not in labour and leave! They decided my baby's head wasn't in the right position to dilate the cervix and gave me inversion positions to get things going. They also gave me their blessing to get in the birth pool for pain relief. In the end, DD did turn up, in the company of 3 midwives (shift change), and it was wonderful. I was full of energy and went for a walk with her tucked up in the sling the same day. There was no mess and it was an amazing experience. (With DS, I delivered the placenta on our cream sofa with no evidence afterwards!) Afterwards all the midwives said that, had I been in hospital, I would have been recommended to have a C section.

I think the best way to approach it is to think that you'd like to stay at home as long as possible. If that turns out to be until the baby's born then great, but even if not, the longer you are there, the more benefits you'll get. My (very experienced) midwives have a very, very low threshold for transfer for first timers and you'll have far better monitoring than in the hospital so they should pick up on any potential problems quickly.

MtnBikeChick · 02/11/2013 10:04

I had a hospital birth for my first - long and torturous and lots of intervention. I have just had DS2 as a home birth and can't even begin to compare the two. Both were uncomplicated pregnancies, but I had to be induced with the first. I am weak willed and with epidural available to me, I took it first time, I had complications from the epidural (catheter and bladder related) that left me in hospital for two weeks after. My second delivery was a lot quicker - regular contractions from 10am, waters broke at 1130, baby born 1352. The thing that was most amazing for me was how my amazing midwives just let me get on with it - they only examined me once and then just listened to baby's HR 3 or 4 times when I was pushing. Despite quick delivery I did tell my midwife and DH about 50 (or 500!) times that I couldn't do it and needed pain relief... (I have horrible back labours). They knew I could do it without, and had I gone into hospital I would have taken the pethidine and possibly epidural again (I am weak willed and have a low pain threshold!).
The difference for me is immeasurable. I feel a sense of achievement over my so s birth, rather than trauma. I also feel like I actually have birth to him, because I actually felt it. I am not sure I would have done it for my first, mainly because I am a bit of a scaredy cat! Even this time it was very open minded - I was with the home birth team but not with heart set on home birth - I planned to see how it went on the day.

Messiness - I have birth in my bedroom that is all cream carpet and white company linen. My husband is anally clean and tidy. We had old towels in a box and an old bedspread, that was it. Bedroom is totally back to normal (midwives did most of the tidy up) and you'd never know. Oh yes - there is a product called 'wine away' that is very effective at getting drops of placenta off a cream carpet! No kidding!!!
Good luck and enjoy.

PearlyFish · 03/11/2013 00:16

I had a home birth for my first baby around a year ago. Like you I had a very calm, low risk, healthy pregnancy. I carried on exercising until quite late on, didn't put on much weight and was generally expecting that because I was fit and healthy, and also took hypnobirthing lessons, that I was going to find birth comparatively easy. I bought a birth pool because I wanted a waterbirth, made sure there was champagne in the fridge to celebrate afterwards, and pretty much anticipated a magical experience ahead.

I was in for a rude awakening, and all of the mothers I had talked to about my plans knew it, but didn't say anything, because they didn't want to scare me.

Now, there are many many positives to having a home birth, but other posters have already highlighted these. Also, I don't wish to make you anxious about birth, you absolutely will cope, and the moment when you hold your baby for the first time is so amazing it will make every bit of your labour worth it.

But, do consider that humans are poorly designed for giving birth, compared to other animals. We have big heads to accommodate big brains, and small pelvises to allow us to walk upright. You may be one of the lucky women who have some physiological advantage and birth more easily, but until you have your first you just don't know. Advice on here is potentially weighted towards the positive, because most people dislike scare-mongering, and it is natural for people to re-write their birth stories, particularly if they want more children.

For these reasons I would not - based on my personal experience - recommend home birth to a first timer, unless your local hospital maternity services have a very bad reputation and you want the assurance of at least 1:1 care.

I have no way of knowing how my birth would have gone in hospital, but as it was it was long, very arduous, I needed an episiotomy (avoiding interventions had been one reason I wanted a home birth), had to birth out of the pool, and I tore to an extent that the midwife did not feel able to repair, so I ended up in hospital anyway. The midwives came with me and baby, with no time to tidy up, so my poor husband had to go home alone to an empty house full of stained towels and a pool full of gruesome water.

If I am lucky enough to have a second baby I am going to try hospital and I want to go private if I can to ensure an epidural. I would consider home birth for any subsequent children if my second birth is significantly easier than the first.

I hope you don't mind me sharing a different point of view. One of the things I struggled with after birth was feeling like a failure, because mostly you only hear the sugar-coated versions of other people's labours (at least until after you have been through it too). I am only sharing my experience because I hope it will help you weigh things up, and also because I hope it may help others reading this who may be struggling because their experience did not match what others are talking and posting about.

Best of luck whatever you decide, try to manage your expectations so you can be flexible with your plans and not be hard on yourself if it doesn't go as you imagined it would.

Didyouhearmeontheradio · 03/11/2013 00:19

I did for all 3. Not messy, no. I hired a pool, but nowadays, I'd buy a birth pool in a box. Pool is bigger/deeper than bath so can move onto knees, etc. It's not difficult keeping temp right - loses temp at about .5degC per hour, so a bucket/squoosh from hose every so often is fine. If you book for home, at any point you can transfer to hospital, so no loss whatsoever, may as well try for home.

xx

Didyouhearmeontheradio · 03/11/2013 00:20

Oh, and I was the only one of my antenatal group to have a good first birth...

Didyouhearmeontheradio · 03/11/2013 00:23

And after 3rd one we transferred in due to her having a wee breathing problem (was not a panic). DH set the pool siphoning and shoved towels in wash before he left (and sent big 2 to neighbours). I would say, having a compliant and keen dh is really helpful. Reluctance would not be good.

Astralabe · 05/11/2013 20:05

You dont have to have a pool you know - I was pretty lazy and just wanted a home birth second time around becuase we could ensure our daughter was either in nursery or in bed when it happened (pretty much) - I loved my home birth sooo much - didnt overprepare just listened to what the midwives recommended.

Astralabe · 05/11/2013 20:11

Pearly Fish good post - youre right people love sharing good experiences so i'll amend mine a little! My first birth was in hospital and it was awful - back to back, spidural, 4 days the lot... but we decided on a home birth as a reaction to the aftercare - I didnt mind about being in hospital to deliver but I bloody hated the post natal ward - Bounty, constant buggering on about bf, oh not able to visit for first 48 hours - all these were solved with hb but perhaps I would not have been able to do it fitst time..

Busybee163 · 26/11/2013 11:29

I was really on the fence with private birth care. But one of my dear friends used UK Birth Centres. They were absolutely lovely to her and so far they've been wonderful to me too :) I've got the same midwife throughout my pregnancy so I really feel a connection with her. This is soooo important to me as I know I need a lot of emotion support through this (single mum!) www.ukbirthcentres.com/

shrunkenhead · 02/12/2013 17:36

I had a home birth with my first and only dd and it was fine, short labour and midwife turned up 20 mins before baby however....because of tearing I had to go in an ambulance to theatre for stitching and this made me feel like a failure, didn't help that I hadn't packed ahospital bag and felt totally unprepared. My advice would be to mentally prepare yourself for the possibility of going to hospital and pack a bag just in case.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 16/12/2013 19:06

We had our first at home, no issues.
If you book and plan a home birth you can always change your mind and go to hospital at any time, but if you plan a hospital birth and change your mind walking out of there is much more tricky.
The midwives said to me that they though I'd be fine/was fine because homebirth "ran in my family", by which they meant that I thought it was normal I suppose? I think being prepared in myself was important too. Hynoborthing and the pink kit, talking everything over endlessly with (supportive) birth parntners, that kind of thing.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 16/12/2013 19:10

a lot of talk here about preparedness for failure, I'd say work a lot on preparing for success. It not popular in this country to prepare for birth unfortunately.

JanePurdy · 16/12/2013 19:16

I attempted a homebirth with my first although we ended up transferring because labour was stalling & there was meconi in the water (this might sound like an emergency situation, but we laboured for another 10hrs in hospital before DD1 was born so hardly urgent). I personally, in a problem free pregnancy near a hospital would always feel comfortable with a homebirth. Had a lovely one for my second.

MyDarlingClementine · 16/12/2013 20:21

You know yourself, how are you with pain? Its going to be pain like nothing you have ever known....

I was unable to even move my foot half an inch let alone get into the water tank, there is no way I would have been able to transfer to hospital in labour, had I had a home birth and needed hospital without serious, un imaginable problems.