Second pregnancy - scared even though 1st was a good experience

[Bumbolina]

Is anyone else on their second pregnancy and feeling completely unprepared for the birth? I'm 35 weeks pregnant, my dd came at 40+6 and the actual birth was a lovely experience despite a retained placenta at the end (retained whole - minimal bleeding, just required an op to remove).

However, I'm feeling so unprepared for what is to come and completely terrified of the unknown! I'm always the person telling my friends not to worry as births as sometimes lovely (like my first) and not to listen to scary stories too much... I think I'm just worried it won't be such a nice experience!

Anyone else feeling like this??

I feel the same, although my first birth experience was not the best, as they were full and i didnt get a room until 8cm! I wanted epidural at 4 cm so was in a lot of pain and had to be in active labour in the triage with other women...who were not in active labour! But once I had the epidural it was fine.

I feel more scared this time around bc the first time I thought perhaps I would be one of the lucky ones that didnt have such painful contractions or could cope etc. But no - PAINFUL!!! So I am scared and due on the 24th of Oct - so really ANY DAY!!!!!

I feel exactly the same as you bumbolina. I had perfect birth first time around, but have very little confidence this time around.

I'm also scared and this will be my 3rd time. 1st was an induction with gel, not drip, but was very intense, 2nd was short but intense too, but probably on balance a good labour and easy birth compared to all the things i read on here. I had pethidine (ineffective IMO, and made DS v sleepy) on first and gas and air on both. But I am still scared, quite simply becasue it hurts. And i remember how much it hurts. And I am not looking forward to it one little bit. Feel very unprepared mentally this time round. I'm trying to remember a) the amazing buzz you get just after you deliver and b) the feeling of being in 'the zone' whilst labouring, as i think i definitely felt in my own little world and i'm sure that was my mind and body doing its thing and helping me cope with the pain...but yes, i'm very nervous about the pain! And the feeling of being out of control of my own body!

It's good to know I'm not the only one! I think it's hard knowing how good it can be - I did tear a bit though, and am dreading that bit lol

Mama bear - good luck! I hope it all goes better this time, and you get what you want this time!

I think it is just scary heading into the unknown. I just keep trying to remind myself it can be good, and like monkey says - concentrate on the brilliant buzz and love that comes straight after!
I'm such a control freak though... I want to know what is going to happen this time! Only time will tell I suppose

I feel exactly be same. I had such a good experience last time but I'm terrified of it all going wrong this time round. Glad I'm not the only one- I can't really talk about it in rl as I feel a bit silly for worrying. I tried to talk to DP the other night but his view is 'you've done it once so you can do it again.' I was so calm last time and I'm scared of losing control and freaking out as I know what to expect. I think ignorance is bliss.

Yes Whilewild - that's exactly it. I was also in the zone, and so excited by the whole experience... I'm so worried I won't be as 'in the zone' and get panicky.
Yes, talking about it in rl isn't easy is it - especially as I have friends who had extremely traumatic births who just don't really want to hear my worries.

I have been reading ina may gaskin books to get myself in the right head space, and that is making me feel more relaxed. For me, I am worried about something bad happening to the baby during birth, not sure why, but maybe because this time around I know how deeply I am going to love him, and how precious he will be to me...

I'm the same, first birth was just what I wanted. 4 hours start to finish, no feelings of panic, lovely midwives etc.
I think the problem is that I've started tormenting myself with the idea that it could only go that well once!
Whilewild I completely agree that it's hard to express that view in RL, all I get is 'well it was fine last time', I know that! But this is a different baby!

I thought baby 2 would arrive by now! My first did :) I'm due tomorrow! I'm still feeling scared. I thought the closer I get, the more relaxed and confident I would feel about birth, as I did with the first! Ah well. He must come out - so trying not to worry. Worry doesn't help with anything! In fact worrying just makes things worse. But good to talk about it w other. Good luck everyone and I'll let u know how second time around goes!

Yes. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and much more nervous this time (have had a labour-themed nightmare and everything) despite having had a pretty great first pregnancy and birth experience. I think part of it is because I haven't been eating as well during this pregnancy as I did with my last - much more sugary, snacky food, which I completely cut out first time round - and I started this pregnancy a bit overweight as well, so I feel a bit nervous that maybe I've set myself up for a bad time.

Also, my first labour went very smoothly and in most ways was pretty ideal... and it still bloody hurt. So the thought of potentially experiencing an actual bad birth is pretty terrifying!

I was so scared for second birth, but here to happily report, had a dream birthing experience! Waters completely went in evening, contractions followed. Went straight to hospital and was 4cm. Requested epidural and was coping well. Got it right away and baby born 4 hours later :)

Congratulations momabear! It sounds like you had a positive experience.

I'm still waiting for this one to make an appearance!

Enjoy your lovely newborn.