Baby coming at 30 wks - tell me what would be best.

[Slavetominidictator]

My lovely SIL woke this morning in the early hours in labour. She is almost 30 wks pregnant and a recent mumsnetter.
She is now in full labour as they couldn't hold it back. My brother (her DH) is with her and updating me when he can. He is a doctor in the hospital where they are, although nothing to do with obs/gynae. They got the first shot of steroids in but don't have time for another.
People with experience of this level of prematurity, please can you tell me what they should view as their priorities. So for instance, do the NICU generally encourage breast pumping, is that a priority, etc?
Also, is there anything I can do? What did you get or need when you were in their position?
Please don't tell me any awful stories- I know the baby is at risk of various problems being so early, but I am trying to be positive and proactive, while knowing I can do very little.
Thank you x

Im sure they are with the best people to advise them about nicu and bfing etc.

If you want to get them anything, you can get little vests that have poppers all the way down which are handy later on but prob at bit soon for all that. I'd prepare for baby to have quite a stay in hospital, even if it thrives at birth so things like making them packed lunches, dinners, toiletries etc ...can be helpful.

Sorry posted too soon. Underwear for the mummy and clean night wear, also maternity pads as she prob hasn't packed enough as you always need more then you think. Breast milk is the best thing for a prem baby so it would be great if she can express so maybe you could find out about some local support for her as it will also empower her in a situation that she will feel she has lost all control.
And if you have a good relationship, just be a shoulder to cry on as it's going to be a roller coaster ride of emotions for the next few weeks.
Hope it goes as well as it can and wishing them lots of luck and strength

Sorry I keep thinking of things, parking costs can be crippling, I know done hospitals wave fees for parents with a baby on NICU but if not, offer to drop dad off and pick him up so it's one less thing for them to worry about. Also ask if they'd rather people contacted you rather then them for now as they might not be quite read to discuss things with everyone over and over again

Hi I have 2 sons born at 26 and 24 weeks respectively, both are perfectly healthy now.
What I needed help with mostly is practical things, like food, clean clothes, soft towels etc. in my experience breast feeding was very much encouraged, and certainly viewed as especially important by the drs I had so asking about support available may help. Premature baby clothes also good though be aware depending on how the baby is doing they may not be able to wear anything for a while so it may be best to check first. I would recommend specialised prem baby companies such as pop and grow that have the right set up for things to fit around any tubes the baby may have.
The people I remember best were the people who sent congratulations cards many didn't and I really appreciated the ones who did. Also a lovely soft toy that I could tie to the end of the cart was much appreciated.
You sound lovely, and I wish them all the best.
Any questions don't hesitate to ask x

Just wanted to give you a positive story, my niece was born at 30 weeks and is now a strapping 3 year old.

Things that helped my SIL were cooking food for her and looking after her other kids so that she could spend as much time at the hospital as possible. The food part is really important for milk supply and hospital food is low quality and expensive.

The hospital should be able to provide a double pump and show her how to hand express, otherwise a Medela swing double electric pump would be good. There are natural herbs such as fenugreek, fennel, hops, milk thistle, nettle and red raspberry leaf that can help with milk supply. They can also prescribe domperidone.

Yes, you must congratulation them! I ment to say that to. mama1980 also reminded me that I was given two little muslins, one that I kept in my bra and the other was with the baby then we would swap them over every so often so the baby could smell me and I could smell the baby. It seemed mad to some as the baby was ventilated but i really liked the idea

Thank you so much for all your very helpful suggestions. He was born at 11 this morning. No weight or details yet, as am sure they're assessing him and his parents are trying to deal with a lot. Thanks especially for those who said to congratulate - I have. Greatly appreciate your help x

Congratulations OP...must be a very stressful time for them, I'm currently nearly 28 weeks & thread made me shudder.
You sound lovely.
Is it their first baby? All the advice on this thread so far sounds very good. I've never had a baby before but I imagine practical, everyday things will be useful for them.
Hope everything goes ok for them.

Have now been told he is 3lb3, which sounds like a reasonable weight for his age. Don't know much more but have offered practical and moral support by text. Have seen a photo and he is beautiful - looks like a darling tiny baby! For some reason I thought he'd look much more fetal.
Thank you so much for all of the helpful advice x

And yes it is their first baby.

If they have pets offer to go feed/walk them.

I had a 29 weeker. Food, food and more food. I didn't have the baby weight for milk so I ate more then than ever before on since. Chocolates, sweets cake lots of sugar. Depending on your sil, and the baby's health soap, shower gel etc for her. She needs to look after herself. Phone credits and a system where she or your db update one person who then does the rest, especially in the early days. A congratulations card.

Also the practical, pet care, house care, shopping so your db doesn't have to do it. Depending on your relationship your db may want help shopping for nursing bras etc (my mum bought mine dh not a clue!). A tape measure for the same purpose.

30 weeks is not a bad gestation - they have something like a 98+% survival rate at by that point so the odds are really in his favour. Sounds like a good birthweight too!

Thanks much ado - most helpful. Will follow that advice.
Hetienne, thanks also.

My SIL's mum is nearby. I don't want to step on toes, just be supportive. Think I will keep offering but not do anything till explicitly asked. Thanks very much.

My DS1 was a 32-weeker, although you'd never know now! I agree food would be great, stuff that needs as little preparation as possible. And please, please congratulate as you would on the birth of a full-term baby, I remember being devastated at not only being the only mum on the post-natal ward without a baby, but being the only one whose room wasn't full of cards, flowers and balloons! I'm not saying material 'stuff' mattered more than other support, or that you need to spend a fortune, but it made me feel even more bereft, like not only was I not allowed to enjoy being a new mum, but no-one else wanted to celebrate my baby's arrival.

ds arrived at 36 wks, things that helper were regular food parcels from my mum, including lots of freshly chopped up fruit,my mum also went to buy sheets and blankets and washed them as well as baby clothes we hadn't had a chance to.
my mum offered to pop up and clean our house, dh said he would but I wish she had as she wasn't also trying to be at the hospital 12 hrs a day.
dh went to buy maternity pads and breast pads etc, nappies...
lastly my mum picked up washing and(nighties t shirts etc) every day and washed dried and returned them.

what I wish could have happened was that I could have slept nearer ds, there wasn't any chance I was going home so they let me stay in postnatal ward but was odd being there without a baby, and at this hospital scbu was on a floor up, which at three hourly intervals felt like a long way away.

congratulations to you and family, nicest piece of advice I had was that in fourteen years time as your strapping son strolls down the high street no one would ever know he was once a teeny tiny prem baby. put it in perspective.