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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Going round in circles

2 replies

DampDudes · 15/10/2013 21:01

went to a birth choices group last night. Ended up having an embarrassingly public meltdown about my last birth, despite the fact it was nearly 2 years ago and I've done Birth Afterthoughts and a course of CBT.

I'm just exhausted by the thought of the whole thing. Top that by the fact that I confirmed last night what I had suspected all along: that I was mislead and outright lied to.

I feel sick to my stomach. If I had just been less impatient, if I had held off on calling the midwife, then perhaps I would have had a different outcome. perhaps things wouldn't have gone so badly for me that I didn't fully bond with my beautiful boy until he was nearly a year old. Perhaps I wouldn't have lost all that time, faith in myself, confidence in my body and the healthcare system.

I've also found out that C-sections can sometimes cause problems conceiving. Is this why we're struggling to get pregnant this time? Or is it because I'm such a basketcase still? Either way my previous experience is getting in the way now. And what if it happens all over again?

Is it possible to move past these feelings? I don't really know where to turn or who to turn to. My DH is lovely, but he looks so sad and broken when I tell him I'm still struggling. He feels responsible because he wasn't able to protect me or to make me feel better now.

I have a hurty feeling in my chest when I think of this so mostly I try to ignore the whole thing but I won;t be able to when I eventually fall pregnant again. Will I?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/10/2013 21:23

So sorry you are feeling this way. Have you ever spoken to the birth trauma association helpline?

hazchem · 16/10/2013 09:16

Oh I've got no words of advice to give you. I'm so sorry you were let down. Jiltedjohnsjulie's suggest is a good one. Wish I could offer you more help.

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