questions for birth debrief this afternoon

[cakebaby]

So, I have a debrief this afternoon, have put off thinking about it as it still sends me into a flat spin 4 wks on.

I had an crash emcs under general after 24 hr back to back labour which started well but deteriorated into being denied pain relief except G+A for 4 hrs due to MW not having PINS no. + being unable to administer, staff shortages etc. Failed epidural, spinal sited and attempted but failed instrument delivery despite it being on my notes I did not consent to rotational forceps. Finally grade1 emcs directed by consultant who turned up at the last minute.

I have a lot of gaps time wise to fill in and questions about what happened to DC in the 2 hrs he was not with dh, his apgar etc.

Anyone had a debrief or can suggest any other questions I could ask?

TIA

Poor you, that all sounds horrible. I think you need to write down the questions you want to ask, perhaps starting by asking why all the above things happened, why you were denied pain relief, why forceps were used without your consent, and how things were allowed to get to the point of you needing a crash emcs (as from what you've said, it sounds like it was clear there were already complications).

One thing I would say is that four weeks is very soon for a debrief - I had mine at four months as only then could I think about things without wanting to cry! So if you feel like you don't get what you want out of today's debrief, ask if you can go back in a couple of months to ask more questions. They should say yes to that.

Good luck and I hope you manage to get what you want from it.

Ps Also meant to say don't be surprised if they can't tell you much about what happened when your DC was taken away. Same happened with my DD while I was under GA, but to get to the bottom of it we had to request her notes from the records dept too, as she was under the care of the paediatric team at that point.

rally thank you, sorry I went AWOL! It was really useful and cathartic, I would recommend it to anyone who has memory gaps or time missing. Maybe 4 weeks was a bit early, there was loads I had forgotten including other failed attempts prior to emcs. Turns out DC was stuck fast, no way he was coming out!